Bullying manager and Post op pain

[flyingumbrellas]

Hi everyone,

I hope you're not all melting in this tropical weather. I'm emotionally and physically broken at this point but also think I'm being a wimp too as people have it much worse and I know that.

Anyway I currently have a second bout of covid, which I contracted after a random infection, that occurred after a third of a large wound reopened following surgery I had 8 weeks ago to remove my spleen, half my pancreas and a massive alien type of tumour the medics think is benign but haven't completely ruled out yet. I am also depressed from having lost both my beloved parents recently and miss them so much. I lost Mum to covid at the start of the pandemic and miss her so much as she was my rock. I have no siblings and am not even 40 yet. Thankfully I have the kindest DH and an adorable DD and am thankful for them and the fact I'm alive.

However, since January I've been off sick because this tumour was so big it was causing horrendous symptoms and I just couldn't work anymore, my job is very active and physically damaged, it can also be very stressful too. Anyway, I have felt awful about being off for so long, but had to take the time out as I just felt so ill and had so many appointments to go to. Initially my managers ignored my request to work from home, then appeared to be supportive of my situation but then switched, asking me to come in for a couple of days when still signed off sick. Initially I foolishly agreed but later couldn't as I was very ill with high blood sugar and an infection. Management again appeared supportive but then decided to refer me to occupational health, which is fine. But when informing me of this said they were concerned I'd come back on a phased return and get ill again, I may never be able to work in that profession again and 'will you ever get better? it's taking a long time'.

So bit upset with that tbh. And just lying on my bed with the fan on feeling weak, tired, hot and covidy. Has anyone else had these procedures done? Did you recover ok? I'm feeling v scared right now. Feel like my work are trying to get rid of me too. I know they've previously given anyone on long term sick a rough ride on their return.