I am fussy, how much should I let my host know?

[AlyssInAManger]

I am going to spend Christmas at my MIL's house for the first time this year. I am quite fussy regarding food though. I don't eat meat because I don't like the texture, I don't eat carrots and I don't like most herbs and spices.
DP says that normally for breakfast they have bacon sandwiches. I have suggested that I have jam or peanut butter on toast instead, and I am willing to prepare this myself.
For dinner they have the traditional turkey, roast potatoes and all the trimmings. I have suggested that I have everything except the turkey and the carrots, there's no need to make something special for me.
For tea it's a snacky buffet thing so I will be fine there.
Is this an ok plan? I don't want to put MIL out of her way but I want to be able to enjoy the food.

[TheBuskersDog]

The only thing you need to say in advance is you don't eat meat, that is hardly unusual these days.

[5HundredUsernamesLater]

I would hate it if one of my guests felt they had to eat something they didn't like just to be polite. Just tell her what you said in your post ( or get your partner to) and then its up to her wether she feels the need to go to any trouble and buy extras in especially.

[EustaciaVye]

I would rather you told me so I could do an alternative main and an extra type of veg for you.
She will want you to enjoy your first Christmas in her home.

Talk to her (assuming she isnt a dragon)

[Lucylouby]

Are you a vegetarian or just don't eat meat? I think that is important to know. If you are a true vegetarian, she needs to know that in case she was planning to cook things in meat fat, gravy potatoes etc, but if you just don't eat meat because of the texture I wouldn't mention it and just dish up what you want on your plate. I have a fussy small child but never comment before we go, I just dish up a very small portion of whatever it is and they pled themselves about eating it or not.

[MerylStrop]

Are you actually vegetarian? Or just to all intents and purposes

Have they met you before and do they know about your dietary quirks?

Breakfast is fine, you can just have toast.

Maybe offer to take your own main course and just don't have any carrots. Not a usual xmas dinner offering really anyhow. Herbs and spices, you might just have to put up or shut up but a traditional Xmas dinner isn't overloaded with them.

[SparkleSoiree]

I always ask about dietry requirements before people come to stay so that I can provide food that they will be able to eat. If a guest came and didn't tell me before hand I would feel terrible as a hostess that I hadnt been able to provide something for them to eat when everyone else was catered for.

If you get on with your MIL wouldn't she already know you don't eat meat? If not I would have a wee chat with her.

[mathanxiety]

I really am lovely.

But don't get in my way in the kitchen on Christmas Day.

[NeverQuiteSure]

We have a close friend with food phobias. She arrives with her own food, asks what we're cooking for each meal and with either (a) join us (rare!), (b) eat some bits and pad out with her own food (which she prepares herself) or (c) cooks herself a different meal but sits and eats it with us. She always helps out and 'joins in' although I do try to prewarn anyone else who might be dining with us to avoid relentless questioning and her feeling self conscious.

In your case, I would ask your DH to prewarn your MIL then just 'muck in' and help with the cooking and food prep as usual, adding in any extras you need as you go.