Elective C Section / depression / vaginismus

[Lady929]

Hi everyone

I’m FTM and 24 weeks pregnant. I have my midwife appointment tomorrow and wondering if it is the right time to bring up my options of maybe having an elective c section.

I have anxiety and depression (no medication for a year as I’ve been trying to manage it myself). In the last month or so my depression has got to a really bad point. I’ve been so anxious all the way through my pregnancy due to so many friends having losses and things go wrong in their pregnancies. My mental health is not in a great place and I am just getting by.

I also have vaginismus. Well my doctor said I probably had it and referred me to the Gynae department a few years ago but I never went as I didn’t want to go through the trauma of internal examinations. Ive only ever had one successful smear test and have always had painful sex. The thought of maybe ending up having an induction or a natural birth that doesn’t go to plan is filling me with dread and I’m worried about my mental state if things don’t go to plan once the baby is here.

I know this all sounds really pathetic but do I have a reason to try and push for an elective c section or should I just try and get on with everything? I feel like I’ll not be able to stand up for myself if midwife tells me I’m not suitable for a c section anyway.

Thank you if anyone listens to my long rambling post.

[Lady929]

Thank you for all the lovely congratulations messages 😃 Baby is almost 3 weeks old and doing brilliantly!

@Nerdy123 Honestly I didn’t like the thinning injections just because I had to do them myself! I would have preferred my partner to do them but he is squeamish with needles so I didn’t trust him lol. I got used to them though in the end and tried to not think about it too much and just do it quickly. The needle is really small though!

@InvisibleDragon thank you! Sending you lots of luck and good wishes for your C section! It really is a positive experience and you will be really well looked after by everyone :) Please let us know how you get on.

@CountryGirl189 I’ve never been in hospital before so it was my first experience of having a cannula. I won’t lie it does feel quite stingy and sore when they put it in, it made me feel a bit funny for the first couple of minutes but you soon forget about it when they start to do everything else. They all kept talking to me and taking my mind off of everything. I would also recommend putting some music on and concentrate listening to the words as that helped take my mind off everything else! It won’t be as bad as what you are thinking so try not to worry! I am not good with pain at all and found it manageable!

[CountryGirl189]

@Lady929 so thrilled all went well for you!

Please could I ask about the cannula in your arm/hand?

I’ve only ever had a diddly pink one before and found it quite painful going in m, (but I think part of this was down to the fact that the anaesthetist was flicking my hand so hard to get a vein up!) and a little sore afterwards but fine unless it caught something.

But I’ve since discovered that they use a big beefy grey one for C-Sections and I’m freaking out it’s going to hurt like a B 😬 that’s the main bit I’m worried about at the moment and I so hope they can get it in first time, but how did you find it?

Thank you so much!

[Silverswirl]

I have the same condition as you and literally a smear is agony even with sedation. Sex is normally horrible and sore.
i was petrified and I mean petrified about giving birth. But I desperately wanted a baby. I hated the idea of a C-section too as have a phobia of medical stuff like needles and cutting me open. Plus the recovery put me off.
I refused all internals. No sweep. No internal at the hospital (unless medical emergency) midwife led unit.
Honestly it was the best day of my life. Nothing prepared me. Yes it was painful at times (the transition) but nothing like I had been fearing. I tore but wouldn’t have known (as is the case for most women). The feeling of pushing my baby out was absolutely incredible and I don’t think I will ever have a high like it ever again. I had no pain relief , just gas and air.
My second was breech so had to have a planned csection.
It was fine but I hated the spinal, the drip, knowing they were cutting me, the catheter, not being able to feel from waist down. It felt like the baby was removed during surgery rather than ‘I gave birth’ The recovery was extremely painful for the first 3-4 days.
You are entitled to a C-section if you push hard enough. But get rid of the idea that vaginal birth will most certainly be awful because for many women it’s wonderful.

[DogsAndGin]

@DogsAndGin

You don’t need a reason for a ELCS OP.

Oh silly me! Congratulations OP!

[DogsAndGin]

You don’t need a reason for a ELCS OP.

[odey9621]

So glad to here it all went okay! Congratulations!! Xxx

[InvisibleDragon]

Thank you so much for the account of what happens in the caesarean @Lady929 - I'll be having an ELCS in a few weeks and your post has really reduced my anxiety about what happens!

Congratulations on the birth of your little girl -- I hope you're all enjoying your time together as a family.

[Nerdy123]

Thank you @Lady929 lastly did you get blood thinning injections? If so how you doing with those.

[Lady929]

@Nerdy123 yes just rinsing it and patting it dry. That’s what I was advised to do and touch wood it is healing nicely 😃

[Lovetogarden2022]

I would definitely look at getting an independent person to speak to about this - ideally a (trusted) hypnobirthing coach or even a doula? Someone who is very much on your side and has experience in this area. Equally, I found hypnobirthing great for my 'low level' anxiety.

[Nerdy123]

@Lady929 congratulations and so happy for you. Glad it went well and so informative!
Are you rinsing your scar following a shower with just water and are you just patting it dry with a towel? I ask as some ladies said they were using hair dryers etc but then told off as hairdryers can contain dust etc

[Lady929]

Hi everyone I had my C section and baby is here nice and safe! It was a really positive experience!

I had to have my Covid swab, MRSA swab and bloods took first. They get you all prepped in a gown and stockings to help prevent DVT. I wasn’t thrilled about the idea of walking down to theatre with my backside hanging out so they gave me another gown to wrap around my back.

The main lady doing the C section took us down to theatre. She was so lovely, I told them how nervous I was. They really included my husband in it all and spoke to him and we were all joking and chatting about all sorts of random things.

In theatre they put the spinal block in first, spray you with something that is freezing and then it turns into a deep heat sensation. I assume that was to check I’m going numb. Then they spend a while making sure you can’t feel anything from waste down. I will tell you the one downside for me was the numb feeling for the first part. I panicked because as soon as I knew I had no movement in my legs I had a horrible sensation where I wanted to be able to move them and it made me panic a bit (I am a bit of a drama queen though) Have some music on that makes you happy and concentrate on breathing because the numb feeling soon gets so much more bearable!

After that everything was a bit hazy. I couldn’t feel anything. It literally feels like they pull the baby out in two seconds I can’t quite explain how fast it all goes. They checked the baby, gave her straight to Dad as I was a bit cold and we were took to a recovery room for about half an hour before going up to a ward.

One of the bits I was nervous about was having the catheter took out. It was fine they tell you to breathe in and out as they do it and it’s really not bad at all. My recovery has been great. About 3/4 days in I was in a lot of pain but just took some extra strong painkillers that they gave me them days which definitely helped. My scar is great and healing well, just make sure you rinse it after you’ve showered and pat it dry, and live in big knickers.

I’m going out so in a bit of a rush but if you have any questions please feel free to ask 😃 I can definitely say I’m so glad I chose an elective, my mental health has been fantastic (touch wood) and I do feel if I’d had a normal birth I would have been much more traumatised. Once you have your baby here it’s the most incredible thing in the world.

[peachweach]

@Lady929 @CountryGirl189 @Motherl0de How did you all get on? Hoping everything went well for you all 💐

[K2012]

Hi @Lady929 I’ve just come across your post and wanted to ask how did it go with your c-section as I’m in a bit of similar situation. 💐

[odey9621]

Spoke to midwife and she was very respectful of my choice and told me to bring it up with my consultant thursdsy and if I didn't have time to for what ever reason to just ring her and she will get things sorted xxx

[Lady929]

@odey9621 I met my consultant at 36 weeks! I would speak to your midwife straight away and request a C section so you can get it sorted :)

@Motherl0de oh wow it’s so close now! Yes please let me know if you feel up to it! Sending you lots of luck and good wishes, I hope it’s a lovely experience for you X

[odey9621]

Good luck!! I'd love to here your experience xx

[Motherl0de]

@Lady929 my scheduled CS is on Thursday, eek! I got rescheduled and have been told to go to a different hospital (due to Covid and staffing reasons). When I feel up to it afterwards, do you want to know how it went?

[odey9621]

Hi, Iv just come across your post I'm 32 weeks and have also decided 100% that I'd like a c section this time after 4 natural births physically and mentally it's not what I want this time around Theres a good few reasons why Iv chosen this have you met with a consultant yet? Xxx

[Lady929]

Thank you @CountryGirl189 I will look into making a birth plan. I’m so unorganised I need to get on with actually sorting my hospital bag lol! I definitely feel much calmer knowing I’m having a c section although it’s starting to feel so real now!

@Nerdy123 Of course I will update and let everyone know. Hopefully I will be letting everyone know what a positive experience it was ! :)

[Nerdy123]

@Lady929 happy for you. Do you mind when your able to, messaging us back letting us know how it went please? Ofcourse i pray all will be fine but ut be good to hear from yourself too to just complete the thread from you on the planned c section.

[CountryGirl189]

This is amazing! And OWN that c-section! You’ll honestly feel so much better for the rest of your pregnancy and afterwards knowing that you made the choice for you and your baby! It’s literally no one else’s business what you choose!

See if there’s a midwife you can make a c-section birth plan with - I have a lovely one at the hospital who is going to go through everything with me, I.e. music etc to keep me calm and she’s also suggested hypnobirthing just for being able to not have a last minute panic on surgery day! 💕

[Lady929]

Just to update everyone, I’ve got my elective section date booked in. I am so relieved! I actually had a positive experience, must have had a consultant that wasn’t anti C section.

She asked me what I wanted and I said an elective section. That was it, no trying to dissuade me or anything. Quickly went through the risks but was just stating facts, not trying to scare me.

I’m still very scared, a C section is definitely not the easy way out and I know I will be so nervous but it was definitely the right decision for me. I now can’t think of anything worse than trying to get through a vaginal birth that would only distress me. We don’t win any medals for how we give birth and a healthy baby is all that matters.

If anyone needs any advice / has questions please feel free to ask. My hope now is that all women will start to be treated as well as I was when I have made an informed decision about how I would like to deliver my baby.

[Lady929]

This is so true! I really need to wrap my head around the fact that I’ve done nothing wrong by choosing to have a C section. It is definitely the best option for me and gives me the best start as a new mum and looking after my baby. I don’t think anybody else has the right to judge anyone for how they give birth.

[CountryGirl189]

@Lady929 - I’m completely open about and specifically tell people why I’m having it and that it’s because it’s my choice!

Whether they like that or not is totally up to them and they can ‘judge’ me all they want! All that matters is that my family are supportive and they really are! My mum said she wouldn’t wish labour on anyone at all!

It’s time we break the taboo! As long as they baby is born healthy and you’re confident and happy in your choice, that’s all that matters!