What is a 'natural birth'?

[GlitterandSparkle88]

This may seem like a silly question, one which until recently I thought I knew the answer.

Anyway why I'm asking is I have had various other mums tell me that I haven't had a natural birth.
I had a vaginal birth with an epidural -(under consultants request) as far as I was aware a vaginal birth regardless of pain relief was a natural birth but since receiving some comments from rather judging people I'm starting to wonder what is classed as a natural birth?

[MrsJayy]

Op I don't think you should be mixing with these people if they are upsetting you or tell thenmto shush it isn't a competition

[mouldycheesefan]

Op you have not technically had a natural birth. Who gives a shit?
"I had a really positive birth experience" is all you need to say. If some dumbass is quizzing you say "I will spare you the gory details".
It is true that an epidural does protect you from the pain of giving birth, I had one partway through labour thank bloody God! Nobody gives you a meal at the end! Stop dwelling on whether your birth was natural or not IT DOESNT MATTER

[Donatellalymanmoss]

That's a bit like saying someone doesn't know what it's like to have a cold because they had some lemsip.

[mouldycheesefan]

A medal at the end not a meal! Hopefully you get one of those!

[MrsJayy]

Talking of meals do you still get your tea and toast long time since I popped a baby our but that tea was the best cup of tea I had ever drunk

[GlitterandSparkle88]

I haven't been telling people it was natural I just wondered because like I said midwife said I'd done it natural after much debate during labour if we would end up in section. It was just the comments of I didn't know what it was like and she suggested I couldn't really know if I'd have another baby because I had no idea what it's really like to give birth. It's hard to avoid her as she is a family member who is always full of shady comments everything is a competition with her it's exhausting and I try not to get in to it with her but she just won't give up on this. I was just curious as to what the term 'natural birth' means

[eckythumpenallthat]

Mrs Jay I didn't get my tea and toast. I had a GA but even so I was starving when I came round after not having eaten in nearly 2 days. When I finally made it to the ward I had a complete irrational meltdown over the fact I didn't get the coveted tea and toast (I blame the trauma hormones and drugs) some HCA took pity on me and got me some. Lol it was bloody gorgeous. Salty butter and milky tea. Don't know what the NHS do to bread and tea bags to make it taste so good

[mouldycheesefan]

Just tell her "Oh gosh let's not relive the birth again" if she brings it up Laugh and walk away.
Do not engage wither her in this do not reward her ridiculous behaviour. Don't give her the chance to comment.
Are you very young you sound quite like you seek approval from this crappy relative. If so, stop!

[MrsJayy]

Oh I would be tempted to tell her to bugger off. Drugs and intervention is there for a reason if she managed to have her baby drug free and foof intact then good for her but she didn't do anything special.

[GlitterandSparkle88]

I didn't get tea and toast they said they weren't allowed to make toast ? maybe that's just that particular hospitals rules? I had been looking forward to the much talked about tea and toast lol

[Butterpuff]

I think people like that don't understand the damage they can do to a new Mum. I really struggled with not having a 'natural birth' the guilt that had doctors not intervened I many not have been able to deliver my baby alive. The last thing I needed was anyone passing comments on what type of birth I had. Luckily I have a really supportive family and great friends who talked me around and made me understand that birth is only one very small part of being a mother, a job at which I really am great. The pain is not the be all and end all of childbirth. You and I may have done it differently but we both know exactly what it is like to bring a human into the world, because we have, and that is the main thing.

[MrsJayy]

ecky bless you and your toast tantrum

[GlitterandSparkle88]

Mrsjayy i wish I could tell her bugger off she can be a right knob she always tries to find ways to poo poo things I've done or makes some comment but then sometimes she can be really understanding so strange!

[ayeokthen]

I hate the competition or superiority/inferiority complex women are given about motherhood in general. Whether you had every bit of pain relief going (newsflash labour and birth fucking hurts!!), an emergency section, an elective section, a birth with gas and air, a birth with nothing at all it doesn't matter. You carried and delivered your child, hopefully safely, that is what matters. I hate that women are made to feel lesser somehow because of how they gave birth, if they gave birth (adoption), whether they BF or FF.
For the record I had 3 "natural" births, 2 gas and air, 1 breech with no pain relief (no time) and I am no better than anyone else who gave birth any other way, or adopted. Personally I judge people on how they treat their children, not how they got here.

[MrsJayy]

Why do you think it bothers you so much glitter

[TheHubblesWindscreenWipers]

Urgh, the 'ceseareans/intervention isn't giving birth properly' brigade.
Shoot the fucking lot of them...It's a term often used by idiots who have nothing else in their lives to feel good about and this need to proclaim their superiority.

I like to point out that the difficulty of a birth is to do with the position of the baby on the day plus maternal/foetal anatomy. Not how brave you are, not how much fucking hypnobirthing prep you did.

Thank fuck for modern medicine. With a c section both me and ds would be very dead.

I've had precisely one person do the 'of course a cesearean isn't really giving birth' shit with me. I started with 'said no one with any scientific, medical or obstetric knowledge, ever..' and proceeded to rip her a new one. Idiot.

Rant over.

[Flingmoo]

I agree, it's a stupid term/concept. Funnily enough it's only women who are expected to endure biological processes "naturally" without pain relief. It's perfectly natural to develop a dental abcess or to get appendicitis, but no-one talks about the benefits of having your appendix removed or a tooth taken out "naturally" without anaesthetic...

[TheHubblesWindscreenWipers]

If you're fortunate enough to be able to give birth vaginally without intervention/injury them that is fab. Quicker healing time, no trauma, all good. Great stuff. 👍🏻

But this idea that it's the only 'good' way of giving birth needs to be debunked, a good birth leaves mother and baby physically and psychologically intact. However it happens.

I did ask the twit who started with the 'c sections aren't giving birth' shit how in her extensive obstetric experience she'd manage a case of total placenta previa with vasa previa without losing both mother and baby to massive blood loss.

Obviously she didn't have an answer for that. I am apparently hostile though ;)

The only thing that matters is that

1. Mother and baby are physically and psychologically intact
   
2. Mother treated with respect
   
3. Fully informed decisions can be made (via impartial accurate information being given as part of the process of antenatal care and care during birth.)

[eddiemairswife]

I'm old enough to remember when 'natural childbirth' was the latest idea. My friend's mother was expecting her 5th baby and started attending natural childbirth classes; she didn't think much of them! The parents were not supposed to mention 'pains', but to call them contractions, and the teacher's mission was to convince parents that they wouldn't need any pain relief because every thing could be controlled by correct breathing.

[TheHubblesWindscreenWipers]

Exactly mauschka

I eagerly await the natural root canal movement...

[GlitterandSparkle88]

As I reading through this I am wondering why I'm letting her get to me MrsJayy as it really shouldn't and if this was friend I would tell them to just ignore her , I think because we are quite a close family even if she doesn't say anything to me it still gets back to me via others and vice versa I don't have to say anything but she will know all about me and what I'm doing or not

[Donatellalymanmoss]

Well breathing techniques can help manage the pain of labour, it's not the only way but it helps.

I also use calm breathing when I'm having bad period pains or I've stubbed my toe.

I understand why people get annoyed with the idea that natural birth with no pain relief is the 'best' and only way, but why the need to denigrate women who do it that way? It doesn't help with the aim of stopping women fighting amongst themselves about the best way to give birth.

[Donatellalymanmoss]

Tell people reporting back that you're just not interested in hearing it or their attempts to create unnecessary drama around the birth of your child.

You obviously had a good experience and are rightly proud of yourself for bringing you baby into the world, don't let anyone spoil that for you.

[MrsJayy]

She sounds. A passive aggressive twat glitter who is far to invested in your life

try yes you are right I'm a failure I can't believe how right you are about this my poor baby not getting out naturally do you think baby will be traumatised

[KP86]

There are no medals for giving birth without any pain relief. You both went through the same thing, only you may have felt a bit more comfortable (I doubt much!) at the time. I know which position I'd rather be in!

Women who are super competitive about birth are silly. It's all about their own insecurity, and doesn't reflect on you at all.

If I'd waited around to have a 'natural' birth, chances are both DS and I would be dead as he had no chance of coming naturally due to issues with his cord.

Be prepared for this sort of rubbish to continue throughout baby's life. Right now it's how you birthed, next it will be when they are rolling/sitting/walking/talking/reading blah blah blah. It NEVER ends and the best thing is to not engage if you can help it.