Home birth

[user1474140141]

Hello,

I am 34 weeks pregnant with our first child and my husband and I are really keen on a home birth.

We have done a lot of research and know that the risks for first time mothers is slightly elevated.

Would be keen to hear of other women's experiences.

We both feel that we would be more relaxed at home which may help us have the birth we want.

Thanks

[AprilShowers16]

I planned a home birth with my first for a few reasons

• I'm only 5 mins from the hospital so knew I could be ambulanced in almost as quickly as I could be seen by a Dr at the hospital
  

• I thought I would be more relaxed at home which would help during labour
  

• I loved the idea of all being at home together after the birth
  

• I liked the idea of having two dedicated midwives with me throughout
  

In the end I was able to labour at home for 11 hours but after 2 hours of pushing and still no baby I was blue lighted to hospital where baby was out within 30 mins. I don't regret my decision at all even though I wasn't able to finish at home as I'd hoped and found it a really positive experience. I felt like the labour went so quickly at home and I loved being in my own environment and seeing woman pacing the hospital halls trying to get things going I felt really grateful that I didn't have to do that. Being at home means there is no pressure to decide when to go in which I loved and the dedicated midwife care was brilliant.

I went into it knowing that my preferance would be a home birth but accepting that it was very likely I would have to go into hospital as it was my first. I think that attitude really helped me and meant I wasn't devastated when I did have to go in. So I think plan for a home birth but be ready for all scenarios.

Also talk to your midwife about what their gas and air policy is. Our midwives were only allowed to carry a certain amount on them - I ended up using it really quickly and so they kept running out and having to wait for more to come which obviously wasn't ideal as meant I had periods without it.

Hoping with no.2 I will be able to complete the job at home!

[Insabbathstheatre]

Hey congratulations. Both my DC's were home births - though the first was unplanned as no-one would believe I was in labour (DH said if this was what I was like with Braxton hicks what was I going to be like when it was real labour and could he go out for an hour! I said I didn't care what anyone said I thought there was a baby on the way and I couldn't look so he would have to check - well he did and then agreed I was in labour as he could see the head!). Well the on-call midwife lived a few doors away and - without taking her coat off - got the cord cut and about 15 minutes later DS and I were wrapped up in bed - lovely. The crash team from the hospital about an hour and a half later to take us to hospital - but I said I wasn't going anywhere! They agreed all was well and left us to it. DS2 was a planned home delivery with just qualified mid-wife friend and her supervisor (who all agreed when I said I was definitely in labour!) - again all over very quickly and in bed and cosy very quickly. The planned home birth was better - having a mid-wife rather than a DH in a panic (we had agreed he wouldn't be at the birth - rather than being almost the only one at the delivery! - he was't at the second after he jokingly said the same thing as first time! I still feel lovely thinking about both home births and am so glad this happened for both by DS's - and recommend to everyone (though also advice if you do a lot of pelvic floor exercises it is possible to control waters breaking and not realise this has occurred!!!)

[ILoveDolly]

I had a home birth with my third and it was great. Hour and a half hardly any relief needed just me and my pillow (midwife arrived in time to catch )
I had a fast delivery with my second and was concerned I'd not make it to hospital next time, I nearly gave birth in the lift as it was.
But! My first was relatively terrible, 19 hours, episeotomy forceps delivery etc I'd have been transferred soooo actually my advice to first time mums is to take hospital or midwife led unit option because you don't know how you react to childbirth yet and the first labour is always a bit harder. They have good drugs there

[user1474140141]

The cuddles are amazing!!!

We received an excellent service too.

Glad your hospital experience was ace too orangebird69. No NHS bashing here, out midwives were NHS and the service we received from the Whittington Health in London was excellent overall including the community midwife team.

The rest of my NCT group gave birth in Stoke Mandeville hospital (we temporarily had to relocate) and all say amazing things about their care in hospital too.

[gluteustothemaximus]

So glad it all went well for you OP x

I had my third at home, and it was so much better. I had 2 midwives with me the whole time (as oppose to being left along for the whole time for my first in hospital).

So. Understaffed in hospital, and left alone for 16 hours, denied pain relief, didn't spot DS's heart rate dropping because no one was monitering me.....OR, 2 lovely midwives with me the whole time, monitoring me all the time. I know which I would prefer!

Plus the after cuddles on our couch with the whole family, were amazing

[Hawkmoth]

I had my first in hospital and then three at home. The middle two I had much better care than in hospital - 2 to 1 whereas in hospital I was alone pretty much until I started pushing.

4th was so fast that nobody arrived in time. Hospital advised to call an ambulance but it took 45 minutes. Thankfully baby was fine and didn't need any attention. My husband was a bit startled though!

[Flowersinyourhair]

Massive blood loss with baby number 1- in hospital so all well managed and fine. Cord Prolapse with number 2 and a crash section/medical emergency situation in which they had 2 mins to deliver my baby by caesarean with me under general anaesthetic.
I'm wondering what those who encourage others to "go for it" re home birth would say the outcome of either of those births would have been had I not been in hospital?

[Orangebird69]

And congrats OP

[Orangebird69]

I've not had a home birth (1dc, consultant led because of age etc...), it wasn't recommended. I just wanted to give a positive experience of a hospital birth. All you read and hear about these days are bad stories. My experience of giving birth in hospital was totally fantastic. I went in to pushing labour at 11am. Dc was born shortly before 2pm (would've been quicker but my contractions wereby long enough so got hooked onto a drip to lengthen them). My midwife wad with me throughout, stitched me up, made me tea and toast afterwards and saw me onto the postnatal ward at 7pm which had 2 other mothers on it. The night staff were attentive, I didn't sleep much because I was still totally elated. Had all the assistance I needed with bfing (although dc pretty much clamped on straight after he was delivered and still camps out there a lot now at 15mo). Even got asked how long I'd like to stay. I went home after one night although I'd secretly like to have stayed longer. I hated labour but the whole experience was brilliant for me. Just wanted to big up the nhs a bit - they do get it right sometimes!

[JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff]

OP glad you had a good birth

T00 go for it! People say you never know what will happen with birth and it's so risky. It is! But this includes risks that are better managed at home. For example, I had DD in 2015 at age 35. Statistically, I was at risk of delayed labour, failure to progress, etc..........In fact, it turns out I have quite fast labours, think under 90 minutes! Actually we would not have made it to hospital. I found out after the birth that there is a strong family history of precipitate labour.

So for me, with my personal set of risks, HB was the safer option, and I'm glad I took it. DD is about to turn 2 and we feel she had a great start in life, safe in her own home with no hospital bugs, bright lights, or being kept awake in a postnatal ward.

[user1474140141]

Yes, keep researching and do what's best for you all. At least you know what to expect in terms of childbirth and psychologically I think that's a huge bonus. I think it also makes a huge difference if you have a supportive midwife. You will also get a feel for the hospital community midwife team or however they run it from your hospital.

Hope you had a good pregnancy x

[T00ManyB00ks]

Ah thanks. I'm looking at hypnobirth already. Midwife is very supportive (we're only at 16 weeks so far, so still early but I'm low risk at the mo). A few people have been quite vocal about the fact they think we are stupid for considering it (why would you put yourself in danger when hospitals exist?). One person in particular had a particularly horrible experience in hospital with increasingly awful interventions/ interactions with doctors but is still can't understand why I'd consider HB.
On the flip side I have a couple of friends who have had successful HBs and I just think it'll suit me/ us. On with the research I guess!

[user1474140141]

Hi icklewickle and T00ManyB00ks,

Glad to hear that you enjoyed your homebirth icklewickle, we'll definitely be looking to have another homebirth when we have another.

T00, you really should seriously consider having a homebirth. All of the professionals we spoke to thought it was a good idea and was mostly family who were concerned. I used a hypnobirthing CD towards the end which I found really useful for breathing during labour.

Hope that you are able and it all goes well x

[T00ManyB00ks]

user1474140141 Thank you for updating us. I'm thinking I'd like a home birth for my first so I have found this thread interesting.

[IckleWicklePumperNickle]

Brilliant, pleased you had a lovely homebirth. I had one 7 months ago with our 2nd and loved it. Sometimes people relish in what ifs too much.

[user1474140141]

Hi all,

As an update to my original message we had a wonderful homebirth 6 weeks ago.

The care we received was amazing and it ended up being totally without pain relief (midwife with gas and she arrived after the event) and in the birthing pool.

Staying at home reduced stress for me and our baby leading to a birth with no interventions which is better for baby.

I never wanted this post to be an argument about what choices are made but wanted to hear from women who had been through home birth.

The evidence does show a slightly increased risk for adverse outcomes for first time home birth but this includes far wider death. Also it doesn't distinguish where the outcome happened, as such a large proportion of first time home births end up transferring to hospital (45%), therefore it can't say whether the adverse outcome would have happened anyway if the birth had begun in hospital. There is also some suggestion that it is miscommunication on handover of the patient from ambulance to hospital that contributes.

The high transfer rate relates mostly to women wanting pain relief, lack of progress and requiring stitches. It is incredibly difficult to imagine how painful labour is and the type of pain and of course this is different for every women. I think that's why transfer rate and risk is lower for second babies because women know what to expect as well as our bodies knowing what to do.

Anyway, I just wanted to share our story.

Thanks

[DeliveredByKiki]

Thing is in some cases it IS riskier to give birth in hospital. My local hospital was seriously understaffed so I decided it would be less risky for me to give birth at home under close monitoring of two midwives who would be much more likely to spot anything going wrong than the one midwife between 7/8 women on duty in the ward.

Trouble with anecdotes is you just don't know the outcome either way. I have a friend whose baby died in hospital, she suspects because the midwives were so rushed off their feet nobody knew anything was wrong until it was too late. Another had a stillbirth because you're told not to go into hospital until a certain point, and in that time during Labour the baby had died. My midwives came out as soon as I thought I was in Labour to check in with me.

I had both mine at home and yes I assumed it would be more relaxing but I weighed upthe risks in my area and realised both myself and my baby would be much much safer at home

[Mindtrope]

But risks for first births at home are higher than in hospital.

Why would you want to endanger your baby's life?

[LittleBee23]

Birth is not a recreational activity?? Really? 🙄

What you've given is anecdotal evidence. I'm sorry you had a scary time with your baby and I'm truly sorry your friend's baby died but you can't say that your friend's baby died 'because she had a homebirth'.

Every birth is different and you can never know what might have happened had you picked a different choice. Statistics show that home birth is no more risky in a low risk pregnancy than a hospital birth. Some statistics show that it's actually safer.

Unfortunately there is always an element of risk involved in child birth. What we need to do is weigh up the different risks and make a choice based on that.

I fully appreciate your choice would be to go to hospital but equally you can't state that everyone should make the same choice purely based on one experience.

[Mindtrope]

I had a very healthy pregnancy and easy birth in hospital.
A few minutes after birth my baby crashed- the paediatric team were there within seconds rushed my baby away and gave him the specialist help he needed, thankfully with no lasting damage.

My good friend had her baby at home, the baby died shortly after birth, the midwife was out of her depth, in the 10 minutes that the ambulance took to arrive it was too late.
My friend has had her life destroyed by the pain and guilt of losing her baby.

We are very lucky to have great maternity hospitals in this country.

Birthing is not a recreational activity.

[manhowdy]

I am sorry if my message sounds harsh. I guess it irks me that the ambulance this chap so desperately needed as he lay dying was quite possibly being used for something far less serious. If it's not life threatening and you can get to hospital by car, please please do it.

[manhowdy]

kulikova

Your midwife was right to say it was not a life-threatening situation, as it was not. You were in enormous pain (that's labour), but you weren't about to drop dead. The ambulance service have to prioritise.

Earlier in the year I came across a road traffic accident. A 50 year old man had overturned his car. I rang an ambulance and it took 40 minutes to arrive because the service was so busy that day. In that time the man died despite the efforts of those of us that stopped to help.

If you can establish that your midwife's call was definitely logged by 999 and that you were then put in the correct 'queue', your anger is best directed at government and the people that control the funding of the ambulance service. Speak to your ambulance trust directly, establish the facts and go from there. Email your MP once you know the AS got there as quickly as resources would allow that day.

It's shit your labour didn't go to plan but you and baby are here to tell the tale. Consider the chap above. He was about to die and still they were so stretched they couldn't get there quicker. That was the end for him.

[mudandmayhem01]

I wonder if the terrible strain maternity services and ambulance trusts are under have made the option of a quick transfer less certain. My good experience with 11 years ago, a time when we had a government that actually gave a shit about the NHS rather than seeming to be hell bent on dismantling it ( apologies in advance for political comment , but I just cant ignore what is happening)

[kulikova]

If anyone had similar experiences to mine , I. E prolonged delay on ambulance arrival , could you share how this has been resolved pls ? I am going to call CAB as can't think of any other options.

Home birth would have been much better experiences for me if I was taken to hospital by ambulance within 15 mins as promised and not after 3 hours waiting and then driven by my friend with a doula and myself in his car . I could not even sit down coz of pain. I just can't let it go and move on . It's been 15 weeks . I have beautiful DD and happy but I really feel been let down and sort of mis-sold the home birth . If I could think straight at the time I would have insisted on going to hospital in friends car and not listening to the midwives ( they were good otherwise) to wait for the ambulance longer but I was in pain and distressed after 24 hours of contractions.

[rememberingnothing]

I've had 2 wonderful home births. I fell they were absolutely the best choice for me. I don't feel comfortable in hospitals, I like being in control. I wanted a water birth and the local hospital (at the time 10 years ago) had only 2 pools. All added up to wanting to be at home.

Both my births were pretty quick (4 hrs start to baby) and I believe would have been delayed by travelling to hospital. Risk is everywhere and there are increased risks in hospitals for certain outcomes and at home. Weigh them up and make your own decision but please don't feel you have to justify it any more than you've thought about it and it's the right choice for you. Good luck, I don't want any more children but I feel sad that I won't give birth again, it can be an incredibly empowering experience.