Private vs NHS birth

[Sith]

Hi everyone,

I'm currently 7 weeks pregnant and I've been very disappointed about the NHS care I've received so far. When I first saw my doctor to say I was pregnant, she never mentioned having a flu jab, she said she was going to put me on referral for a consultant (as I'm 38) and it's never happened, and I wasn't given a pregnancy pack - I only found out this week that I should have one and that I've already missed a blood test I should have had.

The midwives unit won't see me until 10 weeks, I kind of feel a bit abandoned at the moment.

In short, my experience with the NHS care so far has been chaotic and uncaring. So I started thinking about the scariest part - what about giving birth? Will that be the same?

So to cut to the point, I was wondering what experiences anyone else has had of private births and if you'd consider it worth it?

I don't live in London so I've no idea where the private birth centres are around Worcester, but I think it's worth inquiring about.

I'd really appreciate any thoughts, thanks :)

[LillyC]

I only had my first midwife appointment at around week 9/10, and that was just blood tests. I was nervous about the dating scan which was 2 weeks ago (week 12). My next appointment is April. I would wait until around week 9 or 10 and pay for a private scan if that makes you less stressed. Honestly it sounds the key trick to a good pregnancy and labour is to try to keep calm. Knowing from myself (a natural stresser) that's easier said than done. I'm debating around private vs NHS with some add-ons. My main concern is really around the childbirth itself. If I find something doesn't feel right I would get a private scan / private appointment, but just spending almost £20k for birth of top of everything else really puts me off.

[HBSBeeches]

I went totally private and we really struggled financially but I wouldn't swap my choice for a moment. It was £24K all in which I was shocked at - still am.

Went to the FMC for the harmony/early scans etc. Did my research between 7-12 weeks and picked everything bar the anaesthetist and postnatal midwife which I did at 30 weeks.

So I was in control of my care. NHS can work well but I wanted to know who was delivering my baby and I wanted to see the same person every time. I also didn't want to be confused and wanted a number to call for clarification.

Hoping this gives another positive private view.

[LillianFullStop]

woah glue that sounds horrible! I'd have refused to go in for a booking in appointment for the THIRD time.

Hope the rest of the pregnancy and your childbirth experience will be much better

[glueandstick]

At 7 weeks they have done all they need to. I'm sorry you feel let down already.

Wait until you get to 38 weeks having only had a 10 week blood test as 'they are too busy', never had any information given to you and no advice what so ever. Oh and your booking appointment done three times as they lost all your information. Last week they started fussing over a carbon monoxide test as the box hadn't been ticked, screw the fact I've not been offered any jabs (and the GP won't allow self referrals). Oh no, it's a box to tick!

I really would go private if it is available to you. I regret it so deeply but it is a bit late for me now.

[affogato]

Hi OP. I've had my babies under private care. You can't beat full private obstetric care, for continuity of care and detailed observation before and during labour, but it doesn't leave much change from 15k all told (and this is the private wing of a major nhs hospital local to me). There's a lot of other things you can do with that money unless you are fortunate enough not to feel it! Most private consultants will offer a "hand-holding" meet and greet type appt before 12 weeks, but the schedule of appointments and bloods is really otherwise very similar. For example I explained to my consultant that I wanted bloods for toxo and CMV with my booking bloods, and she was happy to oblige.
I went private for my scans and Harmony test at the fetal medicine centre which I was very happy with. They scan at 10,12,20 and 34 weeks, so a little more than the NHS, which is reassuring (and reassuringly expensive...!)
Good luck with your pregnancy!

[Stylingwax]

to focus focus

[pinguina16]

Congratulations!

Personally what strikes me is how engage you already are with your pregnancy. This is good. At this early stage many women are still wondering if it is all real.

A book might be what you need? I'd recommend The essential pregnancy and birth guide by The essential parent company (just out of the press). The postpartum is not well covered but pregnancy and birth sections are sound I think.
www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/184949584X?keywords=Essential%20pregnancy&qid=1455608316&ref_=sr_1_5&sr=8-5&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

Good read!

[OhShutUpThomas]

Feel the need to apologise for your experience here.
Netmums has a much more supportive forum, see you there x

Are you joking?

[Lj8893]

I don't think anybody has been particularly unsupportive. Posters have given the op valuable, reassuring and supportive advice. Some more so than others yes, but I don't know why we are being labelled as unsupportive.

[DustOffYourHighestHopes]

It's a difficult hormonal anxious time, I've been there and I sympathise, but having a load of ladies tell you 'calm down, everything's okay, stop panicking' and telling you the facts of NHS antenatal care, is actually very valuable. Don't take it personally.

OP, I know it feels all a bit aggressive, but on Mumsnet people generally speak their minds without the polite fluff before or after. No one has insulted you. You said you'd appreciate 'any thoughts'.

Also, most people on mumsnet have been or are mums/dads so we generally don't see being pregnant or a 'fellow mum' as any sort of reason to soften the tone.

[Pooka]

I think the op has been given v sensible advice from folk who have had babies with private care, on NHS and also from HCP about what is normal practice.

The op has clearly been given wrong or misleading info re blood tests and flu jabs. Posters have attempted to explain what usually happens so she has a better idea of whether the care so far has been substandard or whether it's actually case of private/NHS following same protocols at this stage in pregnancy.

I well remember the feeling at same point in pregnancy of willing the time to pass so could get the early necessary checks done, the scans, booking in and so on. People generally find out so early these days that the first trimester can really drag. I remember my grandmother saying that she didn't even go and see her doctor until she had missed 2 or maybe even 3 periods - no home testing, and so for her, pregnancy felt about 3 months shorter than mine!

[Focusfocus]

Let me say it then -

Awe hunnie it sux doesn't it it will be okay Jimmy don't worry your little bubba will be fine u go private if you want to hunz it's you're decision hugs xxxxxxx

[fbradf01]

Hi Sith,

Feel the need to apologise for your experience here.
Netmums has a much more supportive forum, see you there x

[Hedgeh0g]

On the flu jab front - I am 10 weeks and was given one last week by my GP. However, I was pregnant at exactly the same time 2 years ago and was told it was too late in the season. Go figure. I reckon it comes down to whether they've got stocks left or not, I don't feel like I needed it this time but went along anyway.

I agree with others though - you haven't missed anything at 7 weeks that you would have got private. No blood tests due until your booking in appointment, which will be a bit later. It can be worrying, I know - I am supposed to be referred to a consultant this time round on a number of different fronts and was worrying about whether GP or midwife should do it, but honestly, the booking in appointment with the midwife was so efficient - all referrals done, scan booked, blood tests done, form for mat exception provided - and yes, a crap load of useless marketing given. The GP's really don't get involved in pregnancy much and it sounds like they've given you a lot of bad advice. Hang in there for your booking in appointment and then decide whether you feel more comfortable going private.

[maamalady]

OP, in the kindest possible way, you are stressing over nothing. You are very, very early on in your pregnancy, and there's really nothing that can be or needs to be done yet. Other posters have already said it all - you just have to wait until you're further along, and even then there's not actually much that happens unless you have existing health problems.

Try not to let yourself get so worried and stressed, or the next thirty-three weeks are going to seem interminable.

[Duckdeamon]

Congratulations on your pregnancy OP.

Agree with PPs that your expectations of the NHS are unrealistic!

You can get a flu jab cheaply at a pharmacist. And chase up for your 12 week scan / blood tests.

Private obstetric care is £££££. Unlikely to be affordable. Especially the birth: it's not a package, since there's uncertainty about what kind of birth etc, you go in and pay whatever the bill is! For a C-section that's £10k +++. Or it was when I looked into it 5 years ago! (Had antenatal anxiety!)

[OhShutUpThomas]

Totally agree RedToothBrush.

[GenevaMaybe]

I went private and encountered the same ratty behaviour in real life OP. I have no clue what is behind it

[RedToothBrush]

Sorry, I had to readdress this as this thread is really bugging me.

The OP goes 'I've had a terrible experience so far on the NHS' without even bothering to check what you'd normally get in the way of tests. The automatic assumption is - 'oh its the NHS, therefore its shit'. Not 'I'll find out what I should get, and then go from there'. Nope its a really hostile and negative attitude to the NHS.

I actually find that offensive on a few levels. Its disrespectful to people who do a good job and disrespectful to those who genuinely have had poor care. Simply because someone has such a negative attitude.

[sparechange]

I went private for my first pregnancy, with a top London hospital and a well-known consultant.
He wouldn't see me before 12 weeks! He suggested getting a reassurance scan at the Fetal Medicine Centre or Well Woman centre, but said there was no point in seeing him before then.
After then, I saw him at the same intervals that I would have seen a midwife

[RedToothBrush]

www.mumsnet.com/pregnancy/health

[PerspicaciaTick]

TBH I would be saving my cash to buy in support after the baby arrives, whether that is a night nanny, cleaner, ironing, food from a company like Cook or whatever you need to get through the first few weeks in one piece.

[BeautyIsTruth]

Congratulations!

I'm a midwife and you definitely haven't missed any standard blood tests. They'll be done either at your booking appointment or 12 week scan (varies between hospitals). Triple test is normally between 11-14 weeks, along with the dating scan. I'm sorry your booking appointment isn't till 10 weeks, it does feel like a very long time due to women finding out so early now but it is very normal to leave it that late.

GPs have very little to do with pregnancies nowadays so won't have pregnancy packs laying around, you'll have to get that from your midwife. Don't know why she'd be referring you to a consultant either - the guidelines change a lot and the midwives are going to be more up-to-date with what comes under consultant care. I can't see why you being 38 is a reason, I've only ever known it to be 40+. As others have said, the general time to see a consultant for any reason is about 16 weeks, unless you've had recurrent miscarriages, lots of gynae problems or need a cervical stitch. There's generally little need to see one before then.

I think flu jabs aren't given routinely at this time of year but I'm sure you could pay for one if you're very concerned. Or wait till your booking appointment and ask the midwives about it.

If your pregnancy is straight forward and low risk then you're not going to get a huge amount of care until really you're in your second-third trimester. Of course, you're welcome to make more appointments to see your midwife if you want to but that is the standard package. I will say though that the majority of NHS labour wards are very, very good. Postnatal care I'm afraid to say not so much (and I would recommend an independent midwife for that - they normally see women up to 6 weeks after birth whereas NHS it's 10 days unless there are lots of problems).

Unless your local hospital is really dire, I don't think I'd bother paying privately for labour care and living in Worcester it's not going to be easy for you to access, which will add another stress. You can go down the independent midwife route again, but they only conduct births at home. If you need to go to hospital, they will go to hospital with you and act as a labour supporter but they can't act as your labour carer any more. During pregnancy though they have much longer appointments and can see you more often than NHS midwives can. If you have a normal pregnancy, I can't really see what private consultant care can do for you other than an extra scan or two. If you've got a long medical history or think you might have problems, then that's a different matter.

[Pooka]

its unusual without having pre-existing medical condition, to see a midwife before 10 weeks.

Blood tests happen once you've got to that stage really. I am Rh Negative, so had all the antibody screening for all 3 of my pregnancies. Nothing until 10 weeks (or later). Nuchal scans at about 11/12 weeks. Anomaly scan at 20 weeks. More frequent midwife appointment during first pregnancy. Saw a consultant with first and third, not at all with second, in each case at about 28/30 weeks.

There is no need for you to have seen a midwife at 7 weeks if there is no history of miscarriage or an underlying medical condition. Ditto blood tests.

[Lj8893]

Your work colleague who has had the flu jab is probably further on in her pregnancy though. You wouldn't be offered the flu jab at such an early stage in pregnancy, NHS or private.

The pack (I'm assuming this is your notes etc) you would have either got now or at your booking apt with the midwife so it doesn't make a massive difference to when you got it, the midwife needs to sign the free prescription form anyway.

The first lot of bloods you have are at your booking apt, which is normally 8-10 weeks. NHS or private.

The consultant thing is unusual I will give you that, normally that would be a midwifes decision/referall so I'm unsure why your gp has said that to you. It's very unusual for you to see a consultant before a midwife in your first pregnancy so don't worry too much yet, ask the midwife about it at your booking apt. If she feels you meet the criteria for consultant led care she will make the referall.

I don't mean to be harsh or rude to you, I understand and remember that feeling of being in limbo in early pregnancy when your not under any bodies care at the time but it's completely normal and you don't need to worry.