I was chatting to my Dad today about when my Sis was born in 1960.

[FredWorms]

November 1960. My Mum was in labour, he dropped her at the maternity hospital at 10pm and was sent home.

He heard nothing all night (he said he found the dog a great comfort), had a call at 6am the next morning saying my Mum had given birth to a healthy girl, both fine, and he could come in and visit later. He turned up at 8.30am and was sent away "because it was feeding time". He bumped into the family doctor on the way out who sneaked him back in.

The next 2 babies were born at home on the family farm in 1962 and 1965. A very different experience, attitudes were changing very quickly, lovely midwives.

I'm just so shocked that he was sent away at 10pm and was sent away at 8.30am the next morning! Oh, and he was a dairy farmer and probably knew more about birth and lactation than the lot of them put together!

[thegreylady]

dd was born in 1974

[Notmyidea]

when my mother died and we sorted through her things we found a letter dad had written to her while she was in the maternity home having my eldest brother in the fifties. He promised to sit on the home steps until he was allowed in to visit,
"so think of me, outside getting piles while you're cuddling my baby"
Not sure if that's sweet or clueless.
I know my mum found her births traumatic and wouldn't discuss them, other than to advise my sister and I to "think of your toes" in labour and to say her homebirth with my sister was much more comfortable.
She was an older mother, (44) when I was born in the mid seventies. She had a number of midwives make ignorant remarks about the quality of her breastmilk, ability to cope etc. because of it.
Dad wasn't at any of the births, although apparently the family doctor told him off for burning sausages when he attended after the homebirth.

[littlemonkey17]

My dad missed his first born's birth in the 70s as he was hungry. Hospital canteen wasn't open and no mobile phones to call him back. My DH missed our first born's birth as DD came early and faster than he could get back from work. Ironically my dad drove me to hospital..... But left quickly!!

[Blessyou]

Back to correct my previous post! These are my Grandma's words:

"The baby was my elder sister Patricia. My parents were having a bungalow built for them and it was to be ready by mid-December. Pat was due to be born late January or early February. They were living in an ex-army bell tent until the bungalow was ready.
Pat decided to arrive twelve weeks early on November 6th and she weighed under two pounds. In those days a new mother didn't get out of bed for two weeks - so there they stayed. (They moved into the bungalow in time for Christmas - as planned)
Pat thrived in spite of everything and lived to the age of 78. She served in WW2 flying the barage baloons in London during the blitz."

Sorry, got carried away with "40 days"

I think Pat must have been born around 1923.

[FredWorms]

Fabulous story Blessyou

[Trumpton]

After my father died I found a letter my mum had written to him in the early 1950s when she found that she was expecting my younger brother.
In the letter she talked about the terror she felt about giving birth to another baby and the steps she was taking to try and abort my brother ( gin, hot baths, purgatives ) .
Such a sad sad letter ,I could feel her panic through the years.
My birth was a traumatic forceps delivery and obviously affected her . My mum died 8 months before my dad and they had been divorced many years.
I do know that when my father visited my mum in hospital after my brothers birth she did not tell him that she had had the baby and it wasn't until he was leaving the ward and a nurse congratulated him that he found out.

Such a sad tale. I burnt the letter as I would hate my brother to know about it.

[mumzy]

My friend who was born in the late 60s at home said immediately after she was delivered her dad came into the room smoking and passes lit fags to her mum the midwife and all 3 puffed away happily in the presence of a newborn.

[AmberLeaf]

I love your posts 1944girl

Blessyou That is an amazing story! a 12 week prem baby in a tent I thought I had it hard having a newborn term baby in a flat that was being decorated entirely at the time! at least I had heat!

Trumpton That is really sad, your Mum must have felt desperate.

[Arseface]

Great thread.

My grandma nearly died giving birth to my uncle. After struggling for two days at home she was taken to hospital. When my uncle was finally delivered, the doctors were unable to start him breathing. They called in my grandad, who was anxiously pacing and smoking outside.
Grandad was told to take a deep drag of cigarette smoke and blow it into my uncle's face. The doctor held the baby upside down by the feet, furiously slapping his bottom while this was done.
My uncle took his first breath courtesy of Philip Morris and is the most robust of my grandma's five children.
The doctors sternly warned my grandad that another birth would kill my grandma, she went on to have two more!

My other grandmother had straightforward births attended by the family doctor (bizarrely, a cardiologist) at home with her four children but she was not expected (allowed) to feed them herself so did engage wet nurses for each.
This was done via the local hospital, who would offer the position to women whose babies had died at birth .

My grandmother said she was so jealous of the first girl who came she could barely stand to look at her and has always felt bad about the way she treated her. By baby No.2 she was prepared for those feelings and made sure she got plenty of time to cuddle her newborn.

My mother's experiences differ wildly depending on what day you ask her - they are always more dreadful and traumatic than anyone else's though!

[Shortbutsosweet]

I was born in 1971 and my father was at m birth. When my sister was born 4 years later he didn't stay as she was born late night and was asleep.
My father now in his late 60s was the first of his siblings to be born in hospital he's from Barbados, his uncle believed the stork brought his nephew!

[AmandaCooper]

When my grandmother had my father and his twin brother the doctors suspected it might be twins, so she was sent for an X-ray to find out. But not told the result! So when she came to give birth my grandfather walked her to the tram stop and waved her off on her way to the hospital, neither of them knowing whether she would come back with one baby or two!

[CailinDana]

That's absolutely mental Amanda! It's so hard to understand the thinking behind something like that isn't it? I mean, it wouldn't have cost them anything to tell her, and it would have at least prepared her, but they somehow thought there was no need for her to know! Bizarre.

[Blessyou]

:-) amanda It's hard to get your head around how people we kept so out of the loop regarding their own babies and care isn't it.
MIL also had an xray at 7 months pregnant with twin DH and his DB. she had to lie on her stomach for it! She only found out it was twins 6 weeks before they were born in 1975.

[BeaWheesht]

My dad wasn't allowed at the birth of my brother or sister in 1971 or 1973. He was there when I was born in 1981 I'm not sure he was that happy about it to be honest!

[NAR4]

My nan had 12 healthy children (don't know if at home or in hospital) but when she had her 13th in hospital, he made grunting noises when breathing. She kept begging the doctors to check him as she knew something was very wrong. They just told her nonsense, he was fine. Sadly he died within the week from a chest infection and never came home from the hospital. When my nan was distraught by his death the midwife reprimanded her and said she was selfish because one of the other women on the ward had also lost her baby and wasn't lucky enough to already have 12 others. My nans reply was that the other women didn't really know what she had lost then. She never got over the fact that the doctors ignored her pleads to check what was wrong with her baby and always impressed upon us the importance of insisting our babies and children be checked, if we thought something may be wrong. She told us to trust our instincts as a mother and not what the doctor tells us.

[CailinDana]

My gran had 9 healthy children, all by c-section! My mother said her abdomen is like a road map - in that time there was no such thing as a nice neat scar along the bikini line, they just opened you up whatever way was convenient. How she survived 9 c-sections is beyond me, she was very ill after the last one, but today she's a fit and filthy mouthed 87 year old so clearly she's quite well built :) I hope I have decent helping of her genes.

Of course the doctor should have told her not to have any more after 3 but this was Catholic Ireland where the only purpose of a married woman was to produce babies, regardless of the effect on her health.

[AmandaCooper]

I know it's crazy isn't it! That sort of information was just for the doctor. No need to tell the patient she was going to require two cots, double pram, etc.

[MakesCakesWhenStressed]

PrincessofChina - snap. 13 months ago. Not only was dh sent home, but I was expected to get myself or of bed after the 4 days in labour and an emcs without any help, not even a hoist.

When I rang the bell to get someone to pass me my baby to feed the mw who appeared sighed and said 'what?' In very long suffering tones. After 6mm months of counselling I'm now recovering from the ptsd, anxiety and depression my post natal care caused.

[FredWorms]

Areseface, that's interesting about the cigarette. When Picasso was born in 1881 he was put aside and left for dead whilst the attendants cared for his mother. A passing doctor blew cigar smoke up his nose and he started to breath.

My Gran had my dad in 1934. He was a very long and difficult labour (he has a big head!), a forceps delivery, and my Gran vowed never to give birth again. They adopted a little girl a few years later. Did these women who never gave birth again give up sex altogether, I wonder? How sad some of these stories are.

[Bluemonkeyspots]

When my sister was born in the early 70's by cs my dad was outside the room.

For some reason they popped round the door and held up a blue card to show him he had a son then 30 secs later showed him the pink card as well.

My poor dad thought it was twins and phoned everyone to let them know, it was hours later that he found out it was only one baby but they had mixed up the cards.

[FredWorms]

LadyClarice, I simply cannot believe how I phrased that bit about my Dad and the dog.

She was called Judy. She played an important role and should not remain nameless.

[KatherineKrupnik]

fredworms first birth control clinic in England opened in 1922 so hopefully they used birth control. You had to be married though.

[MammaCici]

When I was born in 1974 in Dublin my Dad was sent home. My mum was strapped into stirrups with bright spot lights directed at her, ready for examination. Then there was an emergency elsewhere and they forgot about my mum for a couple of hours. She was alone, in immense pain and very hot and dehydrated from the lights when they found her. It was her toughest birth experience. I can only imagine how dreadful it was. I was her third and last child. After me she found a doctor who fitted a coil for her. In 1970s Catholic Ireland that was a big deal!
My eldest sister was born in 1969 London. Mammy said the nursing staff were nicer in London compared to Dublin. But in London when she asked about breastfeeding she was told "women like you can't breastfeed". My poor mother believed it. I'm so glad breastfeeding is better understood now. I'm expecting my #2 and I breastfed my first born for 2 years. I'll always cherish the wonderful memories and bonding we experienced. There were hurdles to be passed early on but I hope to do it all again with #2.