How do I get quick help for my son, 13, terrible anxiety, ocd, adhd completely debilitating

[Daffodildreams40]

My son is 13 , he does not have an adhd diagnosis as able to mask infront of a professional for a few minutes but everyone who meets him including all teachers at 6 different educational settings all believe he has adhd and treat him accordingly. Hes on the sen register and has a classroom support plan. When he was younger he was hyperactive but as he's got older that side has got better.
He's more inattentive and impulsive. He acts like he has lots of confidence and likes to be centre of attention (dopamine boost I presume)
But at home he's a different person. He's sensitive, overly worries about everything, anxious and now old checking cups, plates, cutlery before he uses them etc.
The anxiety mainly started during covid, fear of germs etc turned into ocd.
He had hysterical throat where he felt he couldn't Swallow for for about 6 months. He ate morsals of food and lost a lot of weight. Doctors reassured him his throat was fine.
That passed. Now it's debilitating symptoms of anxiety. It comes in waves multiple times a day. He feels the floor is moving. He feels unsteady. He feels like his tongue is swelling, his throat is closing, all the usual panick attack symptoms but this is multiple times a day. I've noticed he's started avoiding doing things and going to places where he has experienced an anxiety attack.
We went for a meal last night, he had to leave and go outside/the barbers/ flying is a bad one/ long car journeys/any kind of appointment dentist/doctor/ school trip.
If he has a genuine illness or small injury he massively panicks and catastrosizes then has massive panic attacks.
Its getting worse all the time and affecting not just him but the whole family.
What do I do? I'm reluctant to use cahms as they were useless last time and the waiting list is long. He needs help NOW.
He's had talking therapies before but because of the type of adhd he has he can't retain the information or put it into practice when the panic is happening . I think he needs medication but I presume he's too young. What do we do?

Hello, sorry you are going through this. I would definitely start with a referral to CAMHS, because while the wait is long, they are the only people who can provide medication.

In the meantime, Young Minds is an excellent charity which provides advice and support for parents and young people. also look at your local branch of Mind, as I think they sometimes deal with teens?

You could also try using autism friendly techniques with him - as ADHD and anxiety both often coincide with autism - for example trying to reduce the demands on him, give him a written timetable so that he has lots of advance warning of any changes.

He needs to see the GP, he’s not too young for medication.
Write down all that you have here, tell them how it’s affecting his education his life, and how it impacts everyone else in the house.

Teen hormones will be adding in now, and he might be better in a more sympathetic place of education.

Talk to Therese Langford of https://www.facebook.com/calmmindhypnotherapy - she specialises in mental health issues in children.

It was younger minds that he was seen by before, cahms referred him there. But it wasn't beneficial. I'm willing to try again but our local branch has now closed so there isn't one here .
Will start with the gp then at least to get things rolling

I went to a naturopath and got a herbal supplement called ‘settle the emotions.’
its been clinically studied in Japan and found effective. It worked very well and very quickly for my kid, no side effects.

I second hypnotherapy. It has worked wonders for my friends anxiety and OCD behaviour

This must be so hard for you all. I have plenty of experience with anxiety in adults but not teens but one thing that jumped out to me was the feeling of floors moving and feeling unsteady. I've never had this as part of my anxiety but I do have an inner ear problem that causes this which then leads to awful anxiety. It's definitely worth checking this as there are some inner ear problems or even migraines that can cause such symptoms including feeling awful on car journeys, in busy environments etc. I hope you find some solutions to help your son.

I agree with PPs that your best bet for immediate help is self help.

Teach him breathwork. Slow deep breaths in through the nose for count of 4, hold for 3 out through the mouth for count of 4. Do this 3 times. Relax, then repeat, maybe extending the length of in and outbreaths if that feels natural or easy. Then trying it very silently, so he can do it in public without drawing attention to himself.

I used to very gently insist my autistic adhd son did affirmations with me when his anxiety was at its worst. I'd be clear that he didn't have to believe them yet, that they can take weeks to actually establish as first thoughts, but repetition of useful ones, practiced regularly have a similar effect on the brain as working out does on the muscles. He just needs to say them aloud neutrally, without any scorn in his voice.

I got a LOT of resistance for this, but I made some of them funny by phrasing them in language that wasn't too serious.
To make a start with this, so it feels authentic, you can use bridging affirmations e.g. instead of saying 'I feel calm' say 'I accept the possibility that I can feel calm in the future' 'I would like to feel calm and so I am prepared to try to feel calm by saying I feel calm.' 'Even though I don't feel calm right now, saying 'I feel calm' might help so as an experiment, I will say I feel calm, I feel calm, I feel calm.'

This is the last thing teen boys want to be doing but it does have a physiological impact. I asked DS to do it for 5 minutes and then check his physiology. Was his heart racing just as much? Did he feel just as sick? He discovered he didn;t, and that increased his willingness to try

Give him extra vitamins, especially B complex, magnesium, iron and Vit D as all of these can be deficient in adhd brains. Especially if he's finding it hard to eat. Vitamin and mineral deficiencies can really exacerbate anxiety. DS always had the worst panic attacks when he'd not eaten anything all day and his blood sugar plummeted. Try to encourage him to eat lots of protein and slow release complex carbs. If he can't eat much, make small amounts count. I'd do a small milkshake for DS with full cream milk, a scoop of vanilla protein powder, a teaspoon of nut butter and a small banana blended into it, over ice. Even if he only drinks half of it, that's a lot of calories.

Other than medication for anxiety I found the best techniques are breathing so you can feel your tummy rise and fall, this takes focus away from shallow breaths which don't help or feelings in your throat. Also, google the tapping technique...I still resort to this in a panic and it really does help.

@Daffodildreams40 I realised this post is a year old but I have son similar age (born 2010) and is just as you write about your son in this post.
how are things now?
I am going down private route now and hoping to get some medication as well as get him started with cbt.
be great to hear an update and really hope that’s thinks are a little easier for you all )