DD 'refusing' to do work at school - anxiety issue?

[pannetone]

DD is 6 and has selective mutism. She doesn't speak in the classroom with the whole class there, but can speak to the teacher if just her and her friend are there. She has sometimes got upset and not attempted or completed work and it has been presumed that this is because she has not been able to communicate to ask for help. However, more recently she has become upset in class situations when she does not need to (or there is no expectation) for her to speak. This week she has been unwilling/unable to attempt many pieces of work and has just sat there upset, but unable to say what her problem is. At home, when asked why she hasn't been able to do the classwork DD will only say that she 'doesn't like writing' or 'she doesn't like work.' However, DD is capable academically and can sometimes produce work to demonstrate this!

DD's SALT has suggested she is referred to CAMHs. I want strategies to deal with the situation in the meantime, as does her teacher. I am fairly certain this is an anxiety issue and I obviously don't want to increase her anxiety.

[pannetone]

Thanks Mumbling - good to know that your daughter progressed. My DD is a 'middle of the year' Year2 - she is 7 at the end of Feb. At the moment I have asked her class teacher to take the pressure off her - not saying things to DD like 'I know you can do it' and not doing her 'happy faces' chart or rewarding her with stickers for doing work. And not to make much of it when DD gets upset. As you said, I also need to stop the questioning at home - DD can't explain why she is unable to do the work.My initial reaction was I'd take the work for her to complete at home but I think this is just adding pressure.Seems counter intuitive but I'm wondering if all these things are actually pressure on DD. It is the same strategy with speech - DD is not put under pressure to talk and no fuss is made if she does speak. (rare in class!) It just seems much harder to take a 'hands off' approach when DD is crying and sitting there not getting on with the set task.

I don't think it would work if the teacher became firm and insisted on work being done - missing playtimes etc. I think DD is unfortunately anxious enough that she can't make herself do the work, and a firm approach would increase her anxiety. At the moment she is still going into school OK (bar a bit of a protest) and I am worried this might change if she continues to be so upset and anxious at school.

I have tried to build DD's confidence with out of school activities. I stopped swimming lessons as DD couldn't cope with the class size and new children joining the class. She is managing a dance class with a friend - and now joins in well - though she doesn't speak or take her turn at dancing in front of the others.

I have been to the GP today and DD is being re- referred to a paediatrician - she was seen at the time the selective mutism was diagnosed, but was then discharged to the speech therapy service. I'm just aware how many weeks it takes to get an appt and it's hard for DD to mange on a day to day basis at the moment. Upset at school is having a knock on affect at home - DD is quite demanding - 'shouty' (no problems with speech at home!) and argumentative.

[MumblingAndBloodyRagDoll]

Oh it sounds hard...my own DD (7) has had similar difficulties..but not as pronounced. She was selectively mute aged 3-4 at nursery butcame out eventually....though still very timid.

When she began at her new school this year, her teacher had some similar issues where she would not write...was afraid to and it seemed scared of being "wrong". Her teacher, a very good one....said that she knew DD was capable academically as her reading and spelling was so good and she was quite strict with DD....might not have worked on ALL kids and I must admit I was when she told me this....but the threat of visiting the head teacher got DD going...that plus lots of reassurance that she (the teacher) knew DD was bright and wanted her to succeed....

Is your DD in year 1 or 2? If she's a younger year 2, then they really need to be very understanding and take time to help her....I read that finding writing hard work is sometimes down to weakness in the shoulders...so I encouraged my DD to swim and also to throw balls...it actually helped...we also signed her up to gymnastics for strength and for confidence...this was great too.

I also found questoning my DD really upset her so I stopped putting ANY pressure n her re homework and classwork....I just rewarded the good behaviour. My DD has come on massively now she's in year 3....she had a little egg timer in year one as a helper....to remind her how long she was taking over things.

I also got her to write little stories on the computer and by hand...abut silly things really...her cats going to the shops by themselves and things...whatever she wanted...I hope you sort this out as I know it's very upsetting for your DD and for you too.