My 80 year old Mum keeps signing up to charities at the supermarket.

[Seagullz]

Advice please, my Mum has signed up to monthly direct debits with some charities - for between £3 to £20 a month - over a year this mounts up hugely.

I spoke to her bank and they said they are unable to help - I would have to phone them with my mum present to see if there were any recent direct debits. But, even if I do this monthly, the first payment could have gone out already. If that month she signed up to 5 then 5 payments would have gone out already.

Is there something I can do to help her so this doesn't happen?
How do you stop your parent from signing up to these? She forgets
(dementia?) as we have had lots of chats about this. She was scammed badly a few years ago so it is a very sensitive area for her.

Thank you for your help and advice. I am desperate.

[Mrsjayy]

Can you get POA so you can stop direct debits also contact the charities direct and explain she has dementia and they should cancel the DD

[flightless55]

Sounds like getting POA set up would be a good idea
And if she's happy to access to her bank via online banking (once you have POA)

[Viviennemary]

I think you should make a formal complaint to the charities involved. Some charities have form for taking advantage of older folk pressurising them to sign up and then contacting them again to ask them to increase their donation.

[Viviennemary]

Also set up POA as others have suggested. This absolutely infuriates me

[jlpth]

Disgusting tactics from these charities.

Can you perhaps contact the supermarket? It's awful that a vulnerable person can't go to the supermarket without being fleeced.

[Mrsjayy]

I Can't stand these sign up to charity things its harassment imo and if course preying on elderly and vulnerable.

[curaçao]

She can't get POA if her mum has lost capacity.Too late.

[Achdinnae]

It will put a stop to it if she doesn't have a card with her current account details on it. You can get simple pre-loaded cash cards to use for shopping. Leave the current account card at home or with you. I know people who have notes in purses and on phones saying "I have Alzheimer's and don't deal with any business by phone. My daughter deals with everything".

[BritInAus]

Hi, I would suggest contacting the charities explaining she is a vulnerable person who should not have entered into any regular donation arrangements and to please cancel any arrangements and refund the first payment if it's already been debited.

[Tiespin]

My mum did this. When I took over her finances I managed to cancel them all. She had hundreds going out of her account each month. She was definitely targeted as new ones arrived through the post weekly

[Comefromaway]

Capacity fluctuates from situation to situation.

OP would need to take advice from the GP but if her mum agrees to set up a POA and the GP is willing to sign that OP's mum understands what she is doing then it may not be too late.

Similarly the charities involved should be checking that OP's mum understands what she is signing up for. However OP cannot stop her mum from making bad financial decisions and signing up for whatever as long as she understands what she is doing. If, however, she does not understnad the implications then OP can write to them pointing out that the mum did not have the capacity to sign up.

[ToughFuss]

So sad that charities do this. An elderly relative of mine lost pretty much all her money to these, she had so many direct debits going out, I don’t know if she felt she couldn’t say no or got confused or what but it was perfectly bloody obvious to speak to her that she was vulnerable and it makes me so angry that they kept targeting her. It’s disgusting.
I would definitely be contacting the charities!

[Seagullz]

Thank you - yup I think POA is the way to go - I'll have that conversation with my Mum and siblings. The dementia isn't officially diagnosed so maybe we need to go down that route too - thank you for your advice, very much appreciated.

[AuntieJune]

Just to play devil's advocate - charities need to raise money, older people are often more willing to give and get great satisfaction from doing so.

Should charity collectors tell all potential donors above a certain age that they can't donate because they're too old and might not know what they're doing? Should they be trained in giving a cognitive test to check if someone knows what they're doing? It's not always obvious from the first few minutes of talking to someone as to what their cognitive level is.

Can you sit your mum down, decide on one or two charities she likes, decide on a set amount to donate then drill down on the 'you already give, don't sign up to any more' or would that not work?

[Wisenotboring]

I wonder if you would be able to share the names of these charities if they do not respond to you with a reasonable solution? I have no intention of a witch hunt, but unless serious action is taken they will continue to approach vulnerable people for donations. Maybe bad publicity would be what it takes. It breaks my heart that elderly, vulnerable people are being approached in supermarkets to set up direct debits! There is absolutely no justification for this at all under any circumstances.

[Comefromaway]

This information from Age Concern is useful

Mental capacity means the ability to make or communicate specific decisions at the time they need to be made. To have mental capacity you must understand the decision you need to make, why you need to make it, and the likely outcome of your decision.

Some people will be able to make decisions about some things but not others. For example, they may be able to decide what to buy for dinner, but be unable to understand and arrange their home insurance. Alternatively, their ability to make decisions may change from day to day.

Needing more time to understand or communicate doesn’t mean you lack mental capacity. For example, having dementia doesn't necessarily mean that someone is unable to make any decisions for themselves. Where someone is having difficulty communicating a decision, an attempt should always be made to overcome those difficulties and help the person decide for themselves.

chrome-extension://efaidnbmnnnibpcajpcglclefindmkaj/https://www.ageuk.org.uk/globalassets/age-uk/documents/information-guides/ageukig21_powers_of_attorney_inf.pdf

[Wolfpa]

You say the dementia hasn’t been formally diagnosed but does your mum retain mental capacity? If she doesn’t understand the implications of signing up for charities it is unlikely that she will understand the implications of signing the Power of Attorney forms. If this is the case it is too late for a Power of Attorney and you would need to apply for a court of protection order. Initially you may be best off going into your mums back to get things sorted.

[topnoddy]

Can you get access online to her bank account ?
That way you should be able to cancel the direct debits .
Probably not 100% legal though .

I hate all these chugging charities setting up in supermarket entrances , it's not far short of begging to me .

[Comedycook]

I'd make a complaint to every charity that she has signed up to.

[topnoddy]

@Comedycook

I'd make a complaint to every charity that she has signed up to.

Plus the Fundraising Regulator as well

[MissedItByThisMuch]

Yes to PoA. I can really relate. After my mum died a few years ago we discovered thousands of dollars a month going to around 30 charities. Some signed her up outside the supermarket, plus she was getting several letters every week soliciting donations. She could never say no and they knew it. I think she may have thought she was making one off donations but of course had actually signed up to direct debits. It’s disgusting behaviour by the charities.

[Seagullz]

@AuntieJune - I totally get where you are coming from re Charities need to raise money. However my mum already gives to 5 charities every year which her and my Dad set up years ago.

Unfortunately, I am starting to view these charities at supermarkets who are preying on older people as another type of scam. They start chatting, reel the older, lonely people in and then get them to sign up to their charity - do they earn through commission?

Some years ago, when I was out of work I was cornered at a local supermarket and when I explained that actually I wasn't working and couldn't afford to set up Direct Debit, the person continued with, 'you can still sign up and we will start taking it in 3 months time.' and became very rude.

I would love to find out if The Charity Commission actually goes out and checks up on how these charities, who have stints in stores and supermarkets, are actually following the methods they should be.

[Comefromaway]

@Wolfpa

You say the dementia hasn’t been formally diagnosed but does your mum retain mental capacity? If she doesn’t understand the implications of signing up for charities it is unlikely that she will understand the implications of signing the Power of Attorney forms. If this is the case it is too late for a Power of Attorney and you would need to apply for a court of protection order. Initially you may be best off going into your mums back to get things sorted.

Not necessarily. OP says she forgets.

She might have the capacity to understand that signing a POA means that her daughter will be able to make financial decisions for her when she does not have the capacity to do so.

She might well understand that signing up to a charity means that she will have £5 per month going out of her account BUT she might FORGET that she already has another 3 of those charity direct debits going out. That means she is unable to understand the implications of that particular decision.

[Thirdsummerofourdiscontent]

I was told The charities in supermarkets are scams, they don’t work for the charities but other companies, the charities don’t get anything from the people donating for up to 12 months after they sign on.

[leaves2345]

Yes - they do work on commission. I don't donate to charities that fundraise in this way.

The Charity Commission is too stretched to check on every charity which fundraises in this way.

You can complain direct to the charity itself.