Baby gets so distressed in car seat! Help!

[007mummy]

Hi everyone,
My 5 month old baby absolutely HATES the car seat. He was 8 weeks premature and initially would be great going in the car seat, sometimes would whine a bit but then as soon as the car moved he'd be asleep.

Now it's a different story! It's like he panics as soon as he's getting strapped in, sometimes he's OK then realisation hits and it's such a panicky cry and almost chokes himself it's horrible to watch.

He won't take a dummy, the odd time he has taken it he's relaxed and I can see he would drift off but other time he's getting more distressed because of trying to get away from the dummy 😂

It's getting to the point now I've either got to spend 15/20mins rocking him to sleep before putting him in before we leave the house OR trying to time it with naps so he can get to sleep before we put him in OR most of the time I just put off leaving the house because I find it so stressful.

I feel selfish but I've looked forward so much to having days out with my baby, going for coffees, going walks, going shopping with him but I'm now not doing these things because of his issue in the car seat!

I've tried:
A comforter smelling of me in beside him = didn't work.
Dummy = doesn't work although will keep persisting with it!
Teether = distracts him a bit but then he still gets frustrated.
Mirror in back = helps a bit but still panics and I need to calm him.
Distracting toys facing him = works for a second and then back to usual screaming.
Me sitting in back with him = fine if he's awake and can distract him but then again back to the panicking.

I've checked the car seta, he's definitely in correctly and there's nothing jagging him!

I need a solution, my husband says he'll eventually grow out of it but I can't sit and wait for that!!

I'd just strap him in and drive off tbh.
Your husband's right. The baby will grow out of it.

I had one of those babies. It’s incredibly stressful - dangerous even - to listen to that level of screaming and distress while driving, so I completely understand why you avoid it. What car seat is he in? We tried all the things you listed - and anti-reflux medicine (he was colicky in general and we thought maybe he was in pain in the reclined position). It improved marginally when he was big enough for us to take out all the infant inserts and adjust the recline more upright, and only stopped completely when he moved to a different car seat - from the Maxi Cosi Cabriofix to the Axkid Mini/Joie 360, in our case.

I really empathise - I had to drive a lot with him as we are rural, and I had an older girl in nursery. It was an awful period - so upsetting for everyone.

I also had one of those babies who hated the car seat. It’s so distressing hearing them cry like that, and extremely
distracting to you as the driver.
Can you turn the air bag off in your front passenger seat and put the car seat there? I know you say you have a mirror, but whilst you can see him, he might not be able to see you enough.
As a final resort, if he’s in an infant capsule, you could look into upgrading his seat to something a little more upright. Although if he was prem, he could still
be quite small, so he may not get a good fit yet. Plus it’s better to max out your infant carrier to give you time to check what centiles he’s sitting on, which will help you select a seat that will take him
through to being old enough for a HBB.
And I know it won’t feel like it now, but they do grow out of it.

All 3 of my babies hated the car seat. They would all scream the place down, especially if the car stopped at traffic lights etc. They all grew out of it. In fact there are loads of memes about babies loosing their minds in car seats. So enough parents have experienced it, to be a universal “in joke”. He’ll grow out of it too :)

Been there… but I’m sorry to say she didn’t really grow out of it. She’s now 4 and gets horribly car sick.

I just avoid cars, which is easy in London but I know might not be for you.

DD2 was exactly like this. I eventually learnt to zone out because there was nothing I could do to soothe her. She grew out of it at about 8/9 months I would say.

Thanks everyone, I wish I could easily just put him in the car seat and then drive but it's horrible and terribly distracting when driving!
Glad to know we're not the only ones who's baby hates the car seat though.

Have you tried playing music?

Yep we've tried music, the only thing that works most of the time is literally blasting white or brown noise either through the car or if I'm next to him it has to be played from my phone and close to him so he can drown anything else out.
Many a times I'm sitting in the back crying alongside him, it's horrible :(
I'm now talking myself out of going out, or days out because of him being this way. I can't decide if it's he hates the car seat, he hates being strapped in (he can get this way in the buggy too sometimes), I've considered is he car sick? Is he sore? I just wish I could help him.

Wondering if your baby ever grew out of this? Currently in same situation with my 4 month old!.

Yes he did! I persisted with a comforter and he now still takes it into the car seat with him (but isn't too bothered if he forgets it).

We made a conscious effort to keep taking him out in the car and trying to not talk myself out of going out. It took a while and it was tough! Then we changed to the bigger car seat from the infant seat and I feel that was the biggest improvement. Almost as if he had more room and was higher up too so maybe it helped that he could see more.

I get how difficult it is though, I hope it gets easier for you! X