Year 10 - scary decision looming

[Nowornevernow]

Dd is struggling. She has always found school hard, both social and academic side of things. She has been bullied since she was five but is hugely resilient. Obviously I have done whatever I can. I suspect she has traits of Asd although she masks amazingly.

Dd is now in year 10 and in the lowest group for all sciences and maths. The groups are very reluctant to learn which frustrates dd. Lessons are full of disruption.

Dd has a couple of good friends and is in a group of about 8. Last month she found out that all of them went to a party without her and she was devastated. She’s struggled ever since. She has also just found out that she will not be a prefect in year 11. All of her friends have been given a role. She is also bullied daily with mean comments - nothing bad enough for school to address but just constant low grade verbal bullying day in day out.

Her grades are very low and even lower now she is in the lowest sets for so many. She is set to do foundation in everything even though she got some grade 6s in science. I feel her cards are numbered and she can’t succeed in this situation.

Dd is changing before my eyes. She has lost her spark, mumbling and not talking clearly any more and doesn’t want to do her usual hobbies.

Year 10 and 11 are so important. But I can’t help feeling she would be better off at home revising from now on until next summer. She doesn’t learn much at school in her current groups.

Has anyone else been in this situation? We get on well with school and I have two other children there. Would they agree to flexi-schooling? Could I allow her to school from home but stay with them? I can’t afford to pay for all her exams and really don’t know what to do. I do know it’s crunch time though.

[FunLurker]

Is a tutor a option or booster lessons at school?

[Winter42]

What were her grade 6s for in science? It sounds odd that she would be in bottom set if she gets 6s. At my school if she was getting sixes she would be in a much higher set.

Tutoring could be an option, it can be less expensive than you think. I do small group tuition online for science as well as one to one, which is a lot cheaper for parents and I have seen a lot of other tutors offering that too.

I would speak to the pastoral team at school about the changes you have noticed in her. They can keep an eye on her and may be able to offer support, or some things to boost her confidence.

I don't think they would offer flexi schooling unless there were some real mental health issues. We do have some students on reduced timetables but this usually means they come in daily but for a shorter time. The aim is usually to build them up to a full timetable again.

[XelaM]

Your poor daughter 😞don't make her go every day into that horrible environment. Imagine if this was happening to you every day at work! Keep her home.

[Littlefish]

School needs to deal properly with the bullying.

It is extremely unlikely that school will agree to flexi-schooling for a student in year 10.

Would you consider moving your dd to another school

[TwentyFirstCenturyFox]

Your poor DD. Something has to change for her. I would go in and discuss options. You could always change school or home school if the school would not agree to flexi school. In fact, trying another school would be my first port of call. You could always try home schooling if another school did not work out but you may be surprised by how well she does in a different environment.