Ostracised with no friends left in school days.

[galliton]

Has anyone beeen or had experience of being totally ostractised at school? I believe it is called social bulling. It happened to me at age 14 when my friend group of three cut me off and the ripple effect through their gossiping etc was that I was totally alone. I think some were frightened to have anything to do with me less they have difficulties themselves, however, I am trying to get my head around this to give myself closure as even now as an adult I don't understand what happened. I spent years thinking I must be in the wrong for nobody to want to know me, but at the same time, I know that these issues are more complicated than that and there can be pack mentality. I guess I am just looking for reassurance and understanding of what happened to put it behind me and to not beat myself up over it still.

Sorry to hear this. A similar thing happened to my DD a few years ago. When she was 14 her best friends suddenly ostracised her (led by one girl). They told lies about her to make themselves look like the victims and isolate her further. It was extremely hard and humiliating for my DD. Her self esteem was through the floor. She developed social anxiety and we eventually got her some therapy which was very effective.

The therapist told me that this was bullying and she was traumatised as a result. The therapy helped her to understand that it wasn't her fault and she developed strategies and was eventually able to make new friends.

It sounds like you might benefit from some counselling to help you unpack and move on from the situation. I know it's hard. I still can't stand the girls that did this to my DD - thankfully she's moved on.