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Bullying

8 year old being bullied by teachers pet

29 replies

hamstered · 28/12/2012 19:04

My DD is being bullied by the teachers pet. It has been going on for more that a year but this year has got progressively worse. Both the bully and my DD are bright kids and sit on the same table. The bully completely ignores my DD and talks to everyone else. She is nasty to anyone that befriends my DD and has created BF clubs that exclude my DD. They don't let her sit on the carpet near them and don't allow her on the climbing frame or roundabout, etc etc.
She has manipulated all her friends and her so-called best friend since reception against her.
I have tried talking to the class teacher several times but her words were, "oh I'm so busy doing other things I don't really know what goes on in this class. I have moved them away from each other and I don't really see what else I can do."
I called her best friends mum, who was a good friend, to find out if she knew anything and all that resulted in was the whole class finding out I had spoken to her mum which gave another reason to ostracise her.
The bully is the teachers favourite and really behaves in front of her so when I spoke to the teacher she just plain didn't believe me.
My DD has spent this Christmas in tears saying she never wants to go back to the school, that the teacher hates her, the bully picks on her and her so-called friends hate her and what's the point in living.
Rather than take her out and put her in another school I'm thinking of home schooling, or rather un-schooling her. Totally new territory for me but feel that her self esteem is so low right now and it needs building up...
I have a 4 year old DD which would have to come out of school too.
I'm going to have to give up work so money would be really tight. Does is cost alot to home school and are there any groups in Haringey N22...?
Am at my wits end with the whole situation

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Primrose123 · 29/12/2012 01:23

Hi OP. a similar thing happened to my DD in year 6.

The school weren't very interested. The bully, as well as being one of the favourites (seemingly well behaved, happy, smiley, and a good all-rounder) was the daughter of one of the school governors. The school treated the bully like a VIP, but my DD didn't seem to matter.

I wanted her to move schools, but she didn't want to leave her friends. She stuck it out for the rest of year 6, and kept her head down. When she moved to secondary school, we sent her to a school in another town, her choice, and she loved it. She has made lots of friends and is now very happy in year 11.

I completely understand why you want to homeschool her, I wanted to keep my DD home and safe with me. If you think this is the best solution, why not give it a go?

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Sandra442 · 29/12/2012 01:33

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hamstered · 29/12/2012 01:40

Hi Sandra442 the bully along with many of her classmates is polish. There is a strong polish community in the school who are all very close knit. This has resulted in the bully and her brother and his friends and extended community making her feel very vunerable. Her mother is very close to the teacher and as a result the bully is favourtised alot. Anytime she has stood up to her which she does do quite often as she is tough, she not only has to deal with the bully but all the hangers on too. On top of that the teacher ends up telling my DD off for bullying the bully, as everyone sticks up, for the bully. She has hit her back and verbally sparred with her but its hard when its everyday and the bully has a large community and the school behind her. Should I just leave her to the vultures?

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Sandra442 · 29/12/2012 01:45

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