I've messed up breastfeeding for good :(

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I want to pump but that's not really working. Breastfeeding is difficult for me, and now baby won't latch. I'm not even sure if anything comes out anymore :/

I'm three weeks post baby. I have no hope?

Pumping is really difficult, it’s not the same as breastfeeding because you don’t get the same hormones from the baby. So it is normal to get a lot less milk (or none at all) from pumping compared to feeding the baby.

If you want to keep trying with breastfeeding, try to have loads of skin to skin contact with your baby and your boobs. I always found it easier to feed when my baby was sleepy (or actually asleep). Rub your nipple on the baby’s nose so the baby’s face is against the underside of your boob and see if they will latch in their sleep. If you wait till they’re hungry they might be too frustrated.

Also ask your health visitor or any breastfeeding support services near you.

And if you decide that it’s too stressful and you want to stop then that’s okay too. We all know the benefits of breastfeeding but your mental well-being is important too.

I'm not an expert, but when I was struggling, I spent several days in bed watching tv, topless, with baby. With intermittent baths with baby. It helped us both chill out and she got better at latching again. Just skin to skin, keep baby with you - you can rebuild this at just 3 weeks.

I think you've still got time. What have you tried so far? Nipple shields for example? Baby checked for tongue tie? Have you had a feed observee by a lactation expert?

I was forced to give DD formula topups and was told I'd have to continue with formula but at 4 weeks I stopped the formula and within a week DD got the BF sussed.

You have my sympathy. It's very very hard when you want to breast feed and it's not going well.

Ask your midwife for urgent referral to infant feeding team and also get yourself down to a breastfeeding support clinic at a children's centre near you if you are able too. I volunteer in these clinics and there is still one on this week. Look up online or just call your local one and they should be able to tell you if/where there is a clinic on. It's not too late but you need to get some help asap. Good luck, it's so so hard but with the right support hopefully you will be able to start up again.

If you can afford it, private lactation consultants are also available and most can come to your house within 1-2 days of contact and provide WhatsApp/online support for 2 weeks afterwards xx sending lots of love in this tough time xx

Try expressing one side while baby is feeding on other, ideally in bed.

It's not too late - I've known women get back to bf after months! You do need some decent in-person support though. Do you have a group near you?

A happy baby is a fed baby.

Can I ask why you want to express? Honestly-the best way to stimulate your supply if you want to bf is to bf.

I thought it would be easy. I'm finding it hard to hold baby and breast feed.

I get very little time to do skin to skin.... parents are too involved as well.

Pumping only is a tricky way to go about it. As others have said, if there are any support groups locally in person, that could be a big help.

BFing is hard and quite often doesn't work out. Please don't beat yourself up if it doesn't work out for you; I couldn't make it work with my first, but I did with my second, with the help of support group at local hospital. Both kids are fine, there is no sign 15 years later that my oldest had any issues compared to my youngest because they weren't breastfed

Just go and sit in bed for a few hours with the baby? Tell everyone else to stay downstairs or go home.

Can you afford a lactation consultant? It's the best support and advise you will get. Good luck op.

I've had support to get me to BF. It's just the logistics of it now.... not having sole care of the baby etc,

It’s ok. Even when I eventually established breastfeeding and it became easier I never could express. I gave up trying to express milk because I would only get a tiny amount.

At first I worried that my baby wasn’t getting enough milk but eventually I relaxed.

Find a way to relax and take the pressure off yourself.

It’s ok, you’re doing great. 💖

Thanks. Sorry for drip feeding. I have PNP so it's a bit hard for me to live life atm. I'm
Being cared for but it's also stifling

I exclusively pump after latching problems. Let me know if you need some guidance or tips.

How do I get up my feed? Do I need to sterilise every pump? Do you do it for how long a session?

Call the national breastfeeding helpline 100 0212 0300 100 0212

they have volunteers trained to help with situations just like yours.

if you want to breastfeed there is no reason at this stage why you shouldn’t, with the right support.

That formatting has come out really oddly.

0300 100 0212

I said/thought exactly the same when DD was about 6 weeks old. I did manage to express enough to feed her (but couldn’t with DD2, so I’m afraid I can’t give any hints).

All I know is, 14 years later (I realised this a long time ago, though), I should not have beaten myself up so much about it.

I desperately wanted to breastfeed, but I struggled even more with my second than I did with my first. I was less hard on myself second time round, though.

Both my girls are thriving, and you would never be able to tell that one of them got 11 months of breast milk & the other three months.

Be kind to yourself, please, feeding a baby is important but formula is perfectly fine and your health is equally important!

You've had good advice about BF but I also wanted to point out that it doesn't have to be all or nothing.

Even if you can't get your supply or expressing for exclusive feeding, you can do mixed feeding

Personally I think there's a cut off point for the benefit over the impact on a new mother if it's not working and I don't think the 'it's one or other ' always helps as people reach such a point of despair they give up altogether (this was me with my first).

I mixed fed next babies as there were times it was more practical and breast fed at others. It can work well so even if you can't do it exclusively, there's still hope.

It took me 3 months to get breastfeeding right but I got the hang of it eventually with much support from a lovely retired midwife at a breastfeeding group.

I never got on with expressing with a home pump (never seemed to get much out) but when I went back to work after a year & wanted to keep feeding I hired a hospital grade breast pump from Medela. It was phenomenal - my supply increased massively!! I'm not sure if it still works the same way but they used to do next day delivery with an initial hire period of two weeks & then it was per month after that.

Wishing you all the best.

I hear your struggle, i had severe PND with both of mine and truly, i would say after compromising my mental health the first time round by pumping every feed for 3 months( baby couldn't feed) , with the second child i knew that actually getting on top of my mental health was the most important thing I could do for my kids. Sleep is INCREDIBLY important with mental health conditions . have you chatted with your midwife as to whether your meds might compromise your milk supply? if you can get what skin to skin contact time you can and focus on that quality bonding time rather than give yourself the pressure of trying to feed, that might prove helpful as the hormones may kick in?

So I started to pump at 3 weeks because my milk never came in properly (I had sepsis after birth)

I started to pump around 8-9 times a day (20 mins), including one middle of the night pump (this one is really important as prolactin levels highest). At the beginning I would get about 20-30ml per pump, but now I get around 200-400ml per pump.

At 12 weeks, your supply will regulate and you can start to drop pumps. I'm now on around 3-4 pumps per day.

You don't need to sterilise your pump every time. I only sterilise it once per day, and store it in the fridge when not in use.

To get your supply up, use a hospital grade pump like a spectra or Medela (you can buy cheap on eBay or rent). I'd also invest in a wearable pump (I have a Pipetta) so you can pump out and about. I sometimes do it driving or out for a walk. Makes life much easier.

Also join Exclusively Pumping Mums UK on Facebook.

It's hard but doable. The more you pump, the more your body will produce milk. I started with barely enough for one bottle per day, and now at 5 months I have an oversupply, with 100 bags of milk in the freezer.

You can do it.