I just got back from the hospital so forgive if a bit wobbly - just had sedation this time. Apparently I was talking all through the op but I don't remember anything - how bizarre. I had my 2nd op 2 weeks ago and since then it has healed really quickly but I am afraid yes it was 4 months ago and its still not over. Today they sewed the hole up and hopefully this will mean no more daily packing and might look better but hey, my glamour modelling days are over (wink) and its on the side so only my nearest and dearest will see it. Undoubtedly this time it has been easier because there wasn't the complication of the milk.
Breast feeding is so emotive and political that this situation is a real test of your own instincts. I was told by NCT counsellor that I could carry on breast feeding through this awful time. When you are in this situation you are so vulnerable (not to mention all those hormones raging) but now with the benefit of hindsight I can't believe the so called 'advice' I was given always conflicting. How did the NCT telephone counsellor know what bug had infected me!!!? She had hardly done a biopsy!! One doctor told me it could be an E.coli that had got in there!! The point is all science seems to go out of the window. Looking back I can't believe I was not advised to stop breast feeding and I was told it was 'my choice' so of course I felt really guilty. Every abscess is different. Some people who obviously receive prompt treatment and damage is limited manage to carry on however, it depends on your particular circumstance. I wish the medical profession could give better more objective and scientific advice but unfortunately they let us Mums carry the burden of all the guilt. My wound was massive and weeped blood, exudate and milk for weeks on end. I couldn't go out of the house as the dressing would leek after 4 hours. I actually took tablets to sway the milk away called cabergoline and that was very traumatic as well. They weren't that effective though and the pain of engorgement on top of the wound was excruciating for about 2-3 days but lets face it its all bloody painful. My milk even came back a a little bit after about 2 weeks
I felt I really had no option to bottle feed which I really don't regret and as time passes I feel more proud of myself for making the decision that everyone else was too scared to help me with. The pain of engorgement with an open wound was awful but it just didn't make logical, scientific sense to me that I would be able to heal from an open would if the milk ducts were exposed to the extent that they were. Also, my baby had dropped from the 65th centile for weight to the 9th by 5 weeks old. He was an emaciated little waif with stick arms and legs and sunken grey skin. I can't bare to look at the photos of him them. The breast feeding 'enthusiasts' were still telling me to carry on (and thus making me feel guilty)!! My maternal instinct and logic won out over all the guilt and I gave him a bottle and he was never happier and I can't imagine how much worse my own situation would have been if I had tried to battle on.
Also, I had been seperated from my baby in the hospital as I was put on a general ward for 24 hours and had spent loads of time before that going from one hospital to another so my milk supply had dwindled and obviously I struggled to get a letdown. I took my own breast pump to the hospital and the last time I used it was before the op to ease the engorgment and I got 10ml. The doctors on that ward were next to useless. I should have been on a maternity ward with my baby and then I might have had a chance, not a mixed ward with a loads of dirty old men listening in and useless junior doctors unfamiliar with how breast feeding works. We are mammals for goodness sake, don't they learn about this in medical school!
Every situation is different but I am proud of the decision I had to make and it is probably the most grown up and adult thing I have every had to do because nobody in the medical profession will do the kind thing and help you make the decision they just hide behind their political agenda or ignorance.
In terms of your healing Mariasmummy...I had the district nurses come for ages - about 12 weeks and they were great but unfortunately it didn't heal properly and left a 'track' inside which was revealed by the ultrasound I had at the private hospital. I found it too painful for them to pack it with gauze at the beginning so they were packing it with a gel, I suspect that that may have meant that it wasn't getting into all the crevices of a wound and collections were allowed to remain but I am only theorising. Towards the end of the 12 weeks it appeared to healing up and scarring over and then would start oozing again ( I now know this was because of the track.) it did actually heal over and I went back to work p/t and the day after it burst again and that's when I went to see the private consultant as I couldn't go back to the NHS hospital again it was so traumatic - far worse than my 28 hour labour followed by a emergency C-section.
If you are able to carry on breast feeding Mariasmummy through this then I take my hat off to you and you should probably get an award from Mumsnet or something.
I think lexilicious had a similar bad abscess is this right and did manage to carry on breast feeding ?
Sorry for long post - hope is useful