Why do people (usually the older generation) say that your breast milk might not be good enough?

[suwoo]

It is bollocks isn't it?



My DS is really slow to gain and a few older people have asked if my milk is strong enough.

I just give the example of malnourished african women feeding their babies but that didn't work with my 83 year old DM reading Nan .

Does my bloody head in. Grrrrrrrrr

[trellism]

Oh, no, that was what his mum was told to give him, until his teeth came in and he could tackle biltong.

I'm being flippant but the thing is, if DH had ended up with some chronic condition, had developed eczema or asthma or something similar, I'm sure MiL would have tied herself in even more knots worrying that the lack of bf and the eccentric early weaning diet had caused it.

[elkiedee]

trellism, it sounds like your FIL's boredom was a problem rather than the attempt to give your dh at least some breastmilk. I hope your description of the weaning diet was a bit of an exaggeration!

[essenceofSES]

Good luck tomorrow suwoo.
I hope you get a sane HV and you know you're doing a great job

[suwoo]

We can't possibly have four that would be ridiculous. Plus we have no room, it would have to live in the shed

[MrsTittleMouse]

That's what I said!

[suwoo]

Yep, there is no way that my dad or FIL would have done that in the 70's they just weren't hands on like that.

MrsTittleMouse, there won't be a next time!

[trellism]

Gosh!

I think it was a similar thing, of his own design.

The flaw in the plan was probably my FiL. He wouldn't have the patience now and I doubt he had any more in the 70s.

[MrsTittleMouse]

Perhaps you'll get a natural next time.

Good luck at the clinic.

[suwoo]

Really? Wow.

DS2 just moves his head around with his mouth open. Typical fella, wants me to do everything for him!

Weigh day tomorrow

[MrsTittleMouse]

suwoo - my DD2 latched herself on from birth too. She genuinely knew how to breastfeed and I didn't have to do anything. I was really lax with my technique and she would still feed happily in the most awkward positions with no problem.

It made a nice change from the faffing with DD1.

[suwoo]

The bizarre contraption you mention is not at all dodgy, they are excellent for a lot of issues with poor supply- I have one myself
medela supplemental nursing system

I haven't used it yet and am hoping not to need to.

I think that the paediatrician your mil saw in the 70's was actually quite forward thinking.

Still bollocks about poor quality milk though.

[trellism]

My MiL was told to stop bfing my DH because he had "weedy chicken legs" and was "starving" - this was in South Africa in the 1970s. She tried, at the suggestion of her dodgy pediatrician, a bizarre contraption with tubes taped to her nipples and FiL with a syringe full of formula at the other end of the tubes. DH would latch on (about 6 weeks old) and the intention was that FiL would slowly squeeze the syringe and DH would get a mouthful of both unsatisfactory breast and superior formula.

FiL got bored very quickly (as is his wont), and he just squeezed the lot out in one go. Cue a hysterical baby and hysterical mother, who was then advised to give up and wean DH straight away. DH was raised from then on on peanut butter and Lindt chocolate discs.

He remained skinny as a child, even after he was taken off his mother's apparently rubbish breast milk.

MiL is still sad and upset about the whole incident, 30-odd years later. She really wanted to do the best for her baby and it seemed that everyone was out to undermine her.

[Maria2007]

Abra, that's really great! And a good experience for you to have bf in the family. Unfortunately though (as you know) in the 70s bf wasn't that common, compared to what it's starting to be now... My mum didn't bf me (I was born early 70s), and from what she's told me no-one she knew did bf at the time. The same with my grandmother actually, she also didn't bf & was told 'her milk was not good enough'.

[abra1d]

I was born in 1963 and breastfed. So was my younger brother. I remember seeing babies fed that way among my parents' middle class friends and neighbours.

My mother became a HV and, during the late seventies and eighties, supported lots and lots of mothers who wanted to bf.

I hadn't thought about her being influenced by marketing claims. She obviously wasn't though.

[KiwiPanda]

suwoo brilliant, keep up the excellent work!

Just to put a rather rare word in on behalf of HVs, I exclusively bf-ed DD for 6 months and despite her being small (ish, still normal of course but by some people's standards) at between 2nd and 9th centile my HV never once suggested top ups or anything really other than "great work keep it up" and was really pro BLW as well.

Mind you that may be because I am, sadly, one of very very few mums in their catchment area who bf at all.

[Maria2007]

Yes, breast milk is either too rich (whatever that means!!) or too weak (whatever that means too). I've yet to hear a MIL / Mother say the breastmilk's consistency is 'just right'.

[PacificDogwood]

How come breast milk is "too rich" when baby has good/v good wt gain and "too weak" when there is slow wt gain?? There is no logic to i, is there? Which doesn't not make this kind of "advice" any less undermining though.
My mum did want to BF us (in the 60s) and was v swiftly discouraged as she "had no mild" - in first 24 hrs after delivery . The sad thing is, she is still feeling sad/guilty about NOT haveing fed us herself all these (many, many ) years later.
And at "not a very good cow", OMG!

[moondog]

SApot on SK.
It's gross isn't it?

[sweetkitty]

moondog - oh don't worry I haven't spoke to my Mother since before Christmas we are estranged!

My Mother and her generation seem to be utterly obsessed with babies eating so much so that I had tot ell her off for literally forcing bits of food into DD1's mouth whether she liked it or not.

Another quote I hear about BFing is that "I like to see how much they are getting" people seem to be again obsessed with how many ozs and how many times have you seen the end of a bottle being kind of forced into a young babies mouth to get those last ozs in, I know I have seen my Mother and her friends do it?

Off the subject slightly but I have a friend whose DS is a few months younger than DD3, she asked me "when did your DD3 take a FULL jar? DS is now taking a full jar of 7 months + food?" I replied "never DD3 has never had jars" she was amazed and asked what I feed her It's the same sort of thing have watched people distract their DCs whilst trying to shove food in when they are not paying attention, would you like to get fed like that, someone shove a spoonful of food in when you are been distracted, even once seen a baby screaming and food still being forced into it's mouth

It seems a national obsession forcing food into little bodies, the only winners here are the formula companies and the baby food manufacturers who over the years have led everyone to believe that mothers milk is not good enough for their children and that we need to feed them all this organic baby food at twice the price of "normal" food.

[suwoo]

My mum told me that I used to latch on by myself from birth!

She never had to do any of this wapping boobs out and maneuvering that I do.

[moondog]

Bloody hell SK.
Astounding what crap people talk, even those we love eh?

[sweetkitty]

My mother told me that as my Gran had had 6 children and told her to "get them on a bottle, only poor people who have babies in fields breastfeed" that I wouldn't be able to BF either. She had a pill to "scatter" her milk when I was born, best thing ever apparently. I was a 34 weeker and was weaned at (wait for this) 6 weeks onto potatoes and mince, not gravy proper mince mind and I loved it and it didn't do me any harm. I also apparently slept for 18 hours at a time (probably as I couldn't move from the mince).

Was also told that there was no way I would ever be able to feed a 9lbs 3 ozs baby by myself and I would get "told off" when that baby started to put on weight I was told I would get "told off" as she would get too fat as my milk was too rich.

I have never listened to a word she said thankfully but as a first time mum struggling with BFing you can see where a "well meaning" mother or aunt etc might persuade her to give a bottle.

[swingsofglory]

Hi suwoo,

Just wanted to add my support. My DD was between the 2nd and 9th centile while i was BF her and I had HVs on my back to get her weighed every week too. Bear in mind that any measurement on the charts is still within the 'normal' range - that's if you want to take any notice of them at all - and some people are just smaller than others.

My Mum was like yours - she BF me in 72 and my sister in 75 and was considered rather odd. It was good to have her support though. My DHs family were a whole different matter - his Nan told me to give DD solids as she had all three of hers on solids from a week old! Having met two of them, I don't think they benefited from it.

[Habbibu]

My mum said that she ran out of milk with both me and my sister at 4 months. She'd never heard of growth spurts, despite training as a nursery nurse (which was birth to 7 at the time of her training). I haven't really talked about it much to her, as she's been v supportive, and so I don't want to seem to "know better" iyswim - but I just keep thinking it was most likely a pretty bonkers 16 week growth spurt in each case - remember it clearly with dd, and think it's a bit sad that no-one told her.

[moondog]

Brilliant Suwoo.

The point you raise is a powerful example opf commercial interests riding roughshod over a babies' needs and disempowering women at the smae time.

Very very sinister.