Second pregnancy and really nervous about breastfeeding

[mylittkeitalianhome]

I'm pregnant with my second baby and getting really nervous about breastfeeding. In my first pregnancy, I couldn't wait to breastfeed! At the beginning, it was fine - no problems with the latch, etc. However, we introduced a bottle after a few weeks and I wasn't careful enough with timings etc, so ended up with recurring mastitis and an abscess so bad that it needed to be drained and padded.

I persisted, however, and then had to deal with the baby preferring the bottle over the boob and only feeding with a nipple shield for a few months. I also experienced D-MER, or dysphoric milk ejection reflex, which was basically this surge of anxiety and doom every time I fed. On top of that, 4 months in, I started experiencing debilitating bouts of extreme fatigue (even though baby was a good sleeper). This continued on and off until I finally stopped breastfeeding completely at 12 months. It's only now that I realise it was probably down to breastfeeding.

With this baby, I want to breastfeed but I'm also terrified of all these problems coming back. I'm also scared that they'll refuse a bottle, and I'll be tied into exclusive breastfeeding for the first year, even if it makes me feel really poorly again, so I am wondering whether to commit to mixed feeding from the start (but this also makes me feel guilty!). Does anyone have any advice on how to tackle these feelings? And on how to make a plan for a smoother feeding journey? Thank you!

[CadyEastman]

You may well have a smoother journey. I've fed two and they were completely different experiences. Also, this time around you'll know where to get support and probably be more motivated to seek it at the first sign of an issue.

Honestly though, with everything you've been through I'd talk all of this through with a BFC on one of the BFing Helplines before baby arrives.

If after talking to her you decide on BFing or Combi feeding, I'd then start going to your local BFing support groups before LO arrives.

[WonderingWanda]

Give your self permission to stop if it isn't going well. Don't feel guilty. It might be a completely different experience this time so just wait and see but if all those problems come back, it's OK to stop. I know quite a few people who exclusively pumped and bottle fed, they had struggled to breastfeed but because of allergies breast milk was the better option. Could that be a back up plan if things get tricky again?

[mylittkeitalianhome]

Thank you both, that’s really good advice. I think I will call the BF helpline closer to the time just so that I can have a plan going in, because I know that when you’re in the midst of it, it can be really difficult to think logically. And I know you’re so right about the guilt - I would never judge anybody else for how they choose to feed their baby, so I’m not sure why I beat myself up about it!

[MexicanDrinkingWorm]

i had the same nerves for different reasons. I purchased a full formula feeding set up while pregnant with my second as I said no way am I doing that hell again, I’ll do 2-4 weeks BF tops.
baby arrived and she was a breastfeeding machine, like she’d read every manual going.
we did have bottle refusal for a while, but I think that was down to us not committing to it properly.
I mix fed my eldest from a young age and boobs were fine, just stick to the same feed every day and your body will know to produce less milk at that time. Pumping did confuse my boobs for a while though and cause lumps so I’d personally just do formula for that bottle