How much is/should partner's views be taken into account wrt feeding?

[BumperliciousIsStillNotDressed]

I just wonder having been on a thread where a woman's partner is not comfortable with her bfing. That's an aside really, as he seems to have psychological issues with it, but it made me think esp wrt to my own experience.

I had loads of problems bfing. Pain for a few months, a long period (moths) of DD fussing at the breast, refusing to feed, us both getting upset etc.

My husband's support of me bfing has been up and down. Originally he was all for it, he understands the benefits etc. But when night after night I would sob through feeds in pain, or through frustration at DD not feeding, or sheer exhaustion I know that at the slightest indication he would have gone out and got formula. Also I've been up and down emotionally, no sex drive etc. part of which I put down to bfing.

we have argued about my determination to bf against all these odds and at times he just felt so impotent, that when he had dd and I was getting on with something else and she got hungry he would have to "ask my permission" to feed her (often to a response of FFS, she can't be hungry, I can't get anything done" etc ).

Though he has voiced his opinion on the matter and at times has wished I would stop he has understood that it is my choice (what he doesn't seem to understand is though it is my choice I am still allowed to complain about it ) and I am still bfing dd at 8.5 mo. Most of DH's negative feelings have stemmed from worrying about me and DD when we have both been clearly distressed by bfing.

But I have often felt guilty as I have bfed regardless of what he thinks, despite the sometimes negative impact it has had on our homelife. So I guess I am just wondering, looking for a (constructive) debate on how much the partners view should be taken into account. Obviously I don't think that they should v much otherwise I would have stopped by now but I think when it impacts on their lives too that must be some consideration of their feelings, and my choice has caused me some guilt.

FWIW DH is now 98% on board with bfing (when I decide to stop is another issue for both of us) and this last week when DD has been unexpectedly waking in the night he has said "thank god for bfing".

What do the rest of you think?

[VictorianSqualor]

Oops, DS wanted to type.

[claireybee]

Stealth DD barely ate anything until she was 13 months, and even now she has days of very little food.

[StealthPolarBear]

My main problem is that I want him to cut down to feeds in morning, after work and night in 3 weeks and eat during the day, at the moment there's very little chance of that!

[kiskideesameanoldmother]

i think it is because she has turned out to be allergic to cow's milk protein and egg. both highly common in weaning foods and both relatively common allergens.

i sometimes wonder if she is more susceptible to textures as she will have some of the oddest flavours - the first thing she grabbed off my plate was smoked german salami - paprika flavoured at 13 months.

must say, i was working full time and expressing at work to meet her demands and was desperate with exhaustion so I encouraged (began to spoonfeed) her yoghurt (cow's milk) and porridge, again made with cow's milk. she in time accepted it but now I wonder if it was the right thing to do. Luckily she is less allergic to cow's milk protein than she is to egg.

she was also offered loads of different foods at nursery as they have a different menu every four weeks and she kept refusing semi dry solids till after 13 months when she snaggled my salami.