11 week old has terrible reflux but Dr has made me feel like a rubbish Mum

[93amy93]

Hi everyone,

My 11 week old DD suffers with terrible reflux. We try to do all the suggestions after every feed (keeping upright for 30 mins, burp regularly during feed, prop Moses basket up) and it’s getting to the point where no matter how long I keep her upright for she will posset a lot of liquid (mostly clear with flecks of milk) and she has actually choked on this a couple of times which was incredibly scary and awful to watch her so distressed. I suffer terribly with an anxiety of people dying as my DH went into cardiac arrest 2 years ago in bed at night next to me and I had to give him CPR until the paramedics arrived and already am paranoid she isn’t breathing and check she is alive regularly during her naps!

Her weight gain has been fine (born 8lb 1oz and currently around 11lb) but she often screams the house down when she is put down and I can see her gulping and trying to swallow down when she is playing on her mat/ lying flat. I thought with her choking and struggling to lie on her back I would ask the Dr if there was anything I could give her to help. The Dr told me in no uncertain terms I am over feeding her? She is exclusively FF and I make her 6oz every 3/4 hours which she very rarely finishes but will drain the entire bottle with 5oz and keep sucking the bottle so HV advised to make 6 and let her decide how much of it she wants. He said 3-4 oz was ‘more than enough every 3 hours for an 11 week old’ but surely if she’s hungry, she’s hungry?! He didn’t seem at all bothered she had choked a handful of times and just said I had to be ‘extra vigilant’ and now I feel like a terrible mum, she’s my first baby and I before visiting the GP was happy with her feeds as I had been going off the recommended intake on the formula packet (Cow and Gate) and she seemed about right for her age and weight?

Am i over feeding her? Or should I ask for a second appointment/opinion? I am terrified that she will choke when I take my eye of her for a second as it has happened in various different positions and places (in the pram, on the floor and even in her angelcare bath rest!) Any advice with reflux babies would be much appreciated!

Congratulations on your new baby. Reflux sounds super tough and I'm really sorry to hear the way you were treated by your GP. They should be there to support you and give you confidence!

I didn't have a reflux baby so can't help but plenty of friends have had to go to the dr multiple times to be taken seriously and get the right medication. So I think you should go back for a second opinion or ask to see a paediatrician, your health visitor might be able to help push the gp in the right direction.

Another source worth looking at is the parent and baby coach podcast and insta. She is a sleep consultant who helped me but also specialises in tummies and reflux so has lots of content on there and how to navigate the health system. It doesn't sound easy.

I hope you get it sorted really soon, must be exhausting needing to be so 'vigilant' all the time and does not seem like a long term solution.

It is easy to over feed babies with reflux, the sucking action actually helps soothe their reflex and so they'll happily drink all day only to make their problems worse when it all comes up again 🙈
Go back and ask to see another doctor and ask for some infant omeprazole or some gaviscon for his bottles.
Also the sling is fab for reflex babies, just pop a muslin against yourself to protect your clothes and pop them in. They are close for comfort, upright for reflux and have the best naps 😴

Posseting, even large volumes, can be normal for this age, as is screaming when laid flat. Babies have instincts that make them scream when they are put down. Their survival instincts want them to be held, like a baby monkey clinging to it's mother.

Of you follow SIDS guidelines, this is the best way to keep her safe. If you want extra assurance, you can buy an owlet sock, but you have to be prepared for false alarms!

I don't think it's unreasonable to feed a hungry baby.

Go to another GP for a second opinion, even just for your own peace of mind! Mine had silent reflux and infant gaviscon really helped (watch out for constipation as it made mine poo a lot less frequently- but as she was previously on 8+ a day that was pretty welcome!) The first GP I saw tried to print me the NHS web page on colic even though I'd told him the infant feeding team (specially trained midwives on breastfeeding) had seen me feeding DD and they weren't allowed to diagnose but it seemed like silent reflux. The look I gave him was such that he then prescribed the gaviscon... GPs don't always have infant feeding as a point of expertise so don't be afraid to question this. If she's having the whole bottle and it's in line with what the box says you're probably not overfeeding.

Babies need 150ml/kg/day at that age, which works out at 25oz for her in a day. Feeding over that amount is going to make her reflux worse, because her stomach can't handle that volume, so it just comes out the top. I'd try giving the 3-4 oz first, as medications all have side effects and it may well be a volume related problem.

we have gaviscon baby (a liquid, not the type you mix in bottle) and also have a thickened milk. The two are to be used separately- ds isn’t too bad with reflux so I’ve only used the gaviscon a couple of times and the thick milk for about a week at most. Both have helped though! X

Our baby was terrible for posseting, can be even now, and I have been told I have been overfeeding him constantly by GP, HV and Consultant.
NHS advice is 150ml - 200ml per kilo per day, even at the lower end of that he would posset. In the end we just did infacol, raised Moses basket and decided against gaviscon because we didn't want him constipated (he would go 3 days without a poo and strain a lot around the 2-4 months age).
We just decided he is a sickly baby but not unwell, from about 4 months it stopped bothering him, he will just posset and carry on playing, and it has improved as he has got bigger. The consultant never pushed me to feed less because I've always been worried about weight (4lb13oz when born).
Might be worth trying a different GP or your nurse practitioner at the practice, I found the nurse really helpful but your HV might be good for another chat, they tend to know more about infant feeding than GP because it is more of their focus.
Good luck, I hope you will see an improvement soon

In regards to the overfeeding comment, take it with a pinch of salt. My 6 week old is a bigger baby (9lbs 11oz at birth) and I offer him a 5oz bottle every four hours or so. Midwives have told me to do responsive feeding with him and offer him the larger amount so he can have what he wants. This has been working well but doctors have told me he should only be having 100ml a time and have told me I’m overfeeding. You’re not going to leave your baby hungry though and crying? You know your baby, be guided by them.

Does she have a dummy OP? Agree that bottle fed babies may over feed to fulfill a sucking need. Also agree with pp about normal infant behavior. We can be quick to over diagnose I am afraid. She is still in the 4th trimester and still adjusting to life.

So yes reflux babies tend to be overfed if they are unmedicated because they find it soothing the solution is to medicate not ignore it

Get a second opinion

I'd try smaller feeds more often. At 11 weeks you can do a window of 2-3 hours.

Our dietician told us to not do bottles bigger than 5oz for my son. He had reflux and CMPA but was also combi fed so not sure if that makes a difference to amount given in the bottle.

The NHS recommends 150-200ml of formula per kg per day. So for your baby that would be between 22 and 33 oz a day. If you are feeding 8 times a day then it probably is a little too much, if you’re feeding 5 or 6 times a day then you’re at the upper end but within range.

DD had reflux (still has a bit now at 6 months). It took me ages to be taken seriously - babies are sick, well of course she’ll be being sick as you’re breastfeeding and topping up with formula. Eventually we were prescribed infant gaviscon and something to settle the acid in her stomach. It helped a bit. I also found the MAM bottles were better and helped a bit, as did changing formula to Kendamil (we tried SMA and cow and Gate, I still use cow and Gate ready made though). Nothing really fixed it and at about 17 weeks trying to renew her prescriptions the GP told me she was too big for reflux now It’s easing a bit now we’re weaning but like I say it’s still there. As long as baby is gaining weight I think GPs and HV don’t care, so you just have to keep ringing up and I definitely felt like they placed me in the overly worrisome mum category.

How does your baby sleep? Are they getting up every 3-4hours for a feed? I only ask as my 12 week old will regularly drain 6 or even 7oz during the day, hungry baby milk as well, but will skip feeds at night. I feel for you, it's so hard, my HV is lovely and just says as long as the baby is happy and gaining weight you should keep doing what you're doing.

Maybe tell your HV what the GP said and ask for advice as to what you need to say if you go back? And good luck

Not read the replies but has baby been checked for a tongue tie?

HV and GP usually say it doesn't make a difference but we switched DS to the Comfort / anti-Reflux formula and this made the world of difference. We gave him infacol and raised the Moses basket / pram too - this combination worked well for us.

Thanks so much for all the replies, I think the way he was just pretty dismissive of the fact she has choked several times and pretty much shrugged as he said ‘just be vigilant’ really annoyed me.

I do feel a lot better after reading everyone’s responses so thank you! Especially the ones explaining that babies sucking soothes their reflex. @MrsPatrickDempsey she does have a dummy, I’ll hear her sucking quite hard on the dummy and was often confused as I knew she couldn’t be hungry so to know it’s helping is great.

@MissingGrandstand in the past couple of weeks she has started sleeping a lot better, waking at around 4/5am and having her last feed at 10pm, our HV is great too and encouraged us to let her sleep and get into a good routine but if it will stop her choking I will happily get up through the night for a feed as she is great at going straight back to sleep after a feed!

@AncientAzalea she was checked at birth and didn’t have it.

I’ve started the day by giving her smaller feeds- she possetted quite a bit an hour and a half after her 3oz bottle when I was changing her 🙈 will keep on with the smaller feeds more often as I’ve worked out how much she has on average a day and it sits in the average for her weight (920ml at around 4.9kg) and then call and ask for another appointment if smaller feeds don’t help. I’m also going to look into reflux milk and infacol and see if this helps- the infacol especially as she is quite a windy baby- I sometimes can’t believe that such a little girl can make such huge noises! 😮

Too big for reflux? My son had a reflux as a baby it returned as a small child and he is now 13 on gaviscon still struggling with reflux

@93amy93 no I’m absolutely not suggesting waking him! Enjoy your sleep! I just mean if your GP is saying 4oz every 3 hours but your baby is sleeping at night then it’s totally natural they will make up for it in the day by having larger amounts, at least that’s what my HV told me when I was panicking that my 8 week old was regularly draining 6oz 😂

I sympathise so much re the choking, it’s the absolute scariest thing, my community midwife was off the day I got my first check so someone else came out, baby choked a bit and she TERRIFIED me. My normal midwife came out for an extra visit because she said she saw in the notes what had happened and wanted to reassure me it was fine and normal because she knew I’d be climbing the walls. She just kept saying how good they are at clearing their own airways when being sick.

You sound like you’re doing everything you possibly can, I bet a different GP would give you a totally different answer! Hope you manage to get the reflux medicine

@MissingGrandstand Phew, I’ve only just started to enjoy bedtime again without the fear of being woken up hourly with a little whinger 😂

it’s awful isn’t it, I know people say they are good at not choking but like you said it’s so scary, we actually thought she might be having a fit or something the first time it happened! She’s had 2 more choking episodes this afternoon and I’ve been feeding her 4 oz all day every 3 hours so I really don’t think it’s linked to the quantity she’s drinking? So now I just have a hungry and choking baby 😫

I’m going to ring back tomorrow and hopefully get it sorted! Thank you so much for your kind words and advice ☺️

My daughter had silent reflux and a milk allergy (fun I know) she would drain bottles from birth as the sucking did soothe her then obviously scream the place down because of the reflux/allergy we got the allergy sorted within a few weeks but the reflux systems were the worst didn't get any help at all (gaviacon was terrible didn't help ) and a lot of male doctors who liked to continually ask if this is my first baby and that baby's cry and to get on with it ..... anyway I took her to the hospital in the end as health visitor advised and got some ranitidine worked wonders and the screaming calmed down , they do out grow it around 3/4 months when the tube thing has grown but it's awful getting to that point my daughter would gulp and choke from birth but she would never bring anything up if she's in pain I'd see about trying some gaviscon or if not some other meds like I got it's awful when they are in pain !

Apparently reflux goes at 16/17 weeks so babies don’t need more help after that 🙄 Obviously my baby missed the memo!

Sorry to hear your son is still struggling with reflux.

@93amy93 Did your husband have a heart attack (blocked arteries fixed by stent) or was there another reason for his cardiac arrest?

I had a CMPA and refluxy baby, my best advice is to keep a diary of feeds and symptoms so you can accurately show the doctor what's happening in a day. Also video the choking and take pictures of anything you think is significant. I thought I'd have a fight on my hands to get DD on hypoallergenic milk but the GP looked through my photos of her nappies and rashes and agreed CMPA.

I've no advice re reflux, my son was treated as having reflux but actually he had a physical reason he couldn't keep milk down, but I wanted to post to say please go back. I was made to feel like an absolute idiot repeatedly by GP and HV for struggling with my son's feeding and sleep, for him to be diagnosed with a genetic disorder aged 4 which has explained a lot of his problems. I'm in no way suggesting this is the issue for you btw but I wish I had made my voice heard a bit more and not worried so much about pestering them - I knew something wasn't right and my son and I both struggled to cope as a result! I hope you get some support.

@93amy93 My 15 month old had terrible reflux and we ended up being seen in hospital. Gaviscon or Carobel are first things to try, not both together. dd was also prescribed omaprazole. We also switched to kendamil formula which I feel really helped. Sometimes she would projectile vomit and choke and often would be sick in her sleep. We got bought a snuzza nappy clip breathing monitor whe she was born and I didn't actually put it on her until around 8 weeks but after her first jabs and dealing with reflux and terrible temperature, I was so worried one night that I started using it. I never looked back. It was great and gave me piece of mind should something happen whilst she was asleep. I believe they're about £100 new but have seen them advertised on the likes of FB marketplace for a fraction of the price. Hope it improves soon for you.