Milk never came in?

[FluffySunshineBunny]

I was wondering if anyone else had the same experience, but my milk never came in.

I had a baby 6 weeks ago, I had a traumatic labour and was unwell afterwards. They took my baby away for checks and gave her formula. When the nurses brought her back I had a little colostrum, she nursed a bit. Her latch was checked and was said to be ok. But after we got home, my milk never came in, she ended up dehydrated and we were told to give formula.

I pumped, power pumped and kept nursing but after the first week, my baby never latched. I also never produced much through pumping, 10ml - 30ml a day. I started crying during pumping sessions which made me produce even less. I was never engorged, never leaked anything, my breasts never felt any different.

Has anyone else never had their milk come in? I feel so lonely, everyone else I know has managed to breastfeed even if only for a few months. I only managed 4 weeks.

[user1488481370]

This happened to me with DD3 (now 5 weeks old) she ended up with jaundice and we were readmitted to hospital. She was so lethargic in the end that she wouldn’t even wake for feeds so they had to give her an NG tube to administer feeds which really frightened me. They had me on a hospital grade breast pump for 20 minutes on each breast every 2 hours to try and get my milk to come in. Eventually they also tried to get baby to nurse in between pumps. It was fucking exhausting. Investing soo much time and effort and seeing absolutely no milk collect in those containers was soul destroying. It’s bizarre as I’d managed to BF my two eldest girls and my milk always came in on day 3 with them, my eldest was jaundiced too.

Bizarre. DD3 continued to lose weight and I felt under so much pressure to BF but I was watching my baby decline before my eyes which was horrendous. I take my hat off to anyone whose endured that and managed to continue BF.

[DrJump]

I wonder if you might benefit from a debrief with a breastfeeding counsellor. There are some parts of your birth and breastfeeding story where it sounds like you were let down by the health professionals around you, it also sounds like you may have some physiological things contributing too. It can be helpful to put to bed those niggles so you can focus on you and your baby.

[PaySeeWhiTa]

My sister had an easy, natural birth but her milk never came in. After two weeks of solid pumping etc she had produced 10ml total in all that time. She has a very happy formula fed now toddler and expecting her second. She is going straight on to formula for this one and is looking forward to not losing the first weeks of her baby's life to stressing about it.
There is so much more that makes you a mother than being an udder, you are not a failure.

[Megan2018]

@FluffySunshineBunny my thyroid function was found to be wonky after I had routine bloods taken to check for diabetes (I had gestational diabetes so had follow up checks). My baby was small and unaffected by GD but she did lose a lot of weight in the first 2 weeks despite feeding like mad. Fortunately I had amazing BF support and she caught up but it was some months later I found out about the thyroid (which corrected itself after a year) and the GP said I was fortunate it hadn’t stopped my BF. It might be worth trying to get a check just to see.

I’m not claiming there’s always a health reason behind low supply but it’s more likely to have a physical cause than to be entirely fluke. My Mum wasn’t able to BF me, but BF my brother a few years later. Both were EMCS but I was the “worst” one (more blood loss, smaller baby, very jaundiced etc). My mum always thought it was because she took so long to recover. No-one can tell now which of us was the BF one though-arguably I’m the healthier one tbh!

I’m hugely pro BF and wish there was more support and societal encouragement, but if I’d needed to FF I wouldn’t hesitate.

If I let myself I could beat myself up all day that DD won’t have a sibling (DH and I met late and now too old). But I can’t change it so what’s the point? FF instead of BF has much less impact on your baby than my inability to have a second child will have on mine. I’ve made peace with it though so hope you can too.

[Mumoftwoinprimary]

It happened to Melanie in Gone with the Wind. One of the other women had to feed the baby. Caused by a very traumatic birth.

[Kippure]

Be kind to yourself, OP. My milk never came in at all. I used a supplemental nursing system (hang a container of milk around your neck, tape tubes to your nipples to get the baby to stimulate by sucking) and pumped for eight weeks, producing no more either way than an occasional drop, before eventually giving up miserably. And total strangers were really nasty on a few occasions about me formula feeding in public.

No trauma at birth and blood tests didn’t reveal anything particularly out of kilter hormonal. It just didn’t work.

The only thing I wish I’d done differently is to give up sooner. It would have made the first two months of DS’s life far more pleasant.

[Howzaboutye]

Ah well there you go op.
If you had been given a blood transfusion it might have been different. However birth is such a big event in itself, and it is underrated for its impact on a woman's body imo.

If you had such low energy for walking etc, then your body was recovering from a majorly traumatic event. If you had had the same injuries from a car crash noone would be expecting you to learn a brand new skill, while being sleep deprived and stressed out.

Really glad you are feeling better about it all. Glad you posted on how you are feeling.
You are doing amazing!

[balloonsintrees]

Never came in for either of my children. My mum's didn't either for any of us 3.
She developed a life long hatred of the NCT because of their utterly vile attitude and behaviour towards her as she couldn't breast feed.
I don't have any time for them either due the same attitudes now.

[magnarocks]

@FluffySunshineBunny my milk never really came in, also had a traumatic delivery and two blood transfusions.

You're not alone, and you have done what you had to do for your baby. As long as they are fed, it really doesn't matter.

We ended up with a dinky v jaundiced baby who constantly cried (looking back, coz he was hungry...) we continued to BF for comfort but added formula in too. I'm not sure how much breast milk he was getting but he liked BF and I felt it helped our bonding too.

I think I have insufficient glandular breast tissue, I produced milk but not sure it was enough. We're thinking about TTC no.2 and I'm keen to seek advice before the birth next time to try and get off to a better start - even if that's accepting that we combifeed from the beginning.

[Snapcat]

I had a traumatic EMCS, severe PPH, Pre eclampsia, PCOS and thyroid issues plus stress of DD having sepsis. I didn’t realise at the time that all these factors were causing or contributing to my very low supply and instead blamed myself. We are not given information about any of these factors when pregnant, just told it’s ‘extremely unlikely’.

[FluffySunshineBunny]

@Howzaboutye

Op did you loose blood during the delivery? Very common to have milk supply problems after if so.

And there is no judgement from anyone, everyone knows how tough it is. You are the mum, you are the boss of your baby.

Enjoy the lovely cuddles X

Yep. I did lose a lot of blood, just under the amount needed for a blood infusion. It's strange I feel like maybe I could have tried harder, pumped more at night when supply is supposedly at its best. But I'm so grateful for Mumsnet and for all your wonderful women who've replied.

Only now at almost 7 weeks pp am I able to walk more than around the block or even go to the supermarket. I couldn't believe the thread where someone asked about walking out of the maternity unit with their baby in a wrap! I couldn't even hold my baby and walk until 4 weeks pp! It's amazing how we are all different but also how much the end of pregnancy and labour take out of us.

[Howzaboutye]

You are not a failure.
You did not fail.
You tried really really hard, and for various reasons it didn't work out.
It's ok, baby will be ok.
Big hugs

[Howzaboutye]

Op did you loose blood during the delivery? Very common to have milk supply problems after if so.

And there is no judgement from anyone, everyone knows how tough it is. You are the mum, you are the boss of your baby.

Enjoy the lovely cuddles X

[FluffySunshineBunny]

Thank you! Thank you to everyone of you who replied. It's made me feel less alone, less like a failure.

[Babdoc]

As well as the traumatic birth group, some women have breast hypoplasia, where they never develop enough breast tissue to lactate successfully. This is sometimes associated with “tube shaped” rather than round breasts.
I suspect that was the reason why I never produced more than an ounce of milk after ages of expressing or pumping, never leaked or had any sensation of milk coming in, and why I only went from a 30AA to a 32A when pregnant.
But in those pre internet days information was harder to come by, and I was upset to feel I’d failed and had to resort to formula feeding. The same problem recurred with DD2, and she required formula also.
However, how you feed your baby is unimportant as long as they are fed, and both my DDs grew up fit and healthy with high IQs and normal BMIs. Don’t fret over it, OP. Breast feeding is nice when it works, but not in the least essential.

[SunshineWalk]

Traumatic birth with my first which resulted in 9 days in hospital (due to my health), I was convinced my milk never came in; but having nothing to compare it to was difficult to say for sure.

After the birth of my second child I can now say with absolute confidence that I was right!

[Juniperandrage]

I didn't produce enough milk, which is apparently quite common in women with PCOS but nobody bothered to tell

[ramblingsonthego]

I had no colostrum or milk come in. I had a massive post partum haemorrhage and lost 6.5 pints of blood and was close to death apparently (I don't remember any of it really). Apparently very common in trauma births as the body is amazing and diverts resources to keep you alive and forgets about things like milk as to the body that is a secondary function and won't keep you alive. I tried feeding but nothing at all came out for 4 days so we ended up bottle feeding.

It was very different to my first when I remember on about day 4 the massive engorgement and pain in the boobs.

[TiptopJ]

What you've written above is exactly what happened to me with my first. I had a slightly traumatic birth and he was taken into icu shortly after where he was topped up with formula and despite near constant nursing my colostrum wasn't filling him up. My milk didn't arrive until day 10 and by then he was fairly settled on formula. I tried expressing but like you couldn't get more than 10ml per session. It was exhausting and frustrating and I remember crying my eyes out because I just wanted breastfeeding to work. I decided at 4 weeks that enough was enough and if he was happy on formula thats what he would have and was only really pushing breastfeeding for me because of my guilt for not being able to and the best thing i could do is relax and jusy enjoy my baby. So I did and hes now a healthy 3 year old who rarely gets ill and our bond is amazing.

I've recently had my second and whilst I've not mastered exclusively breastfeeding and im still a low supplier my milk came in on day 3 this time and I've been combi feeding with mostly expressed milk for 5 months now. I'm only mentioning this becuase I think the stress I put myself under last time as well as my body being in a bit shock from the birth is possibly what affected my milk last time.

I've also attached a link below which looks into some of the claims about breastfeeding. How accurate it is i don't know but it helped me get over the pressure I felt at having to exclusively breastfeed.

Best of luck which ever way you decide to go x

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2019/jun/20/is-breast-really-best-i-looked-at-all-the-data-to-find-out

[farfallarocks]

I never got a drop from pumping just nothing! But both dc were getting milk. Sounds like you had a horrendous time and did your best so 🌺

[Harpydragon]

Me too.
I also had an emcs, I didn't even get colostrum, my bra size never changed thru pregnancy, I had no leakage, engorgement, nothing. It messed me up for quite a while, I couldn't give birth naturally and then I couldn't feed him.
I eventually got thru all of that and realised how lucky i was to have a healthy baby boy, regardless of how he arrived or was fed!

[Scottishskifun]

It's uncommon but does happen. Pumping is not a sign of milk production though and some women can never pump.

I had very delayed milk supply (over 2 weeks) due to quick birth, NICU for my son and high stress. I was also told my milk would be in on day 3 etc and t wasn't an issue it was only when infant feeding team realised in day 8 I was still pumping colustrum that I received any understanding. I also rarely leaked my boobs didn't give it up unless it was for my son or a pump.

There seems to be this unspoken feeling that mum are being judged related to feeding and nobody ever seems to win. Formula feeding mums feel they are judged by BF mums (I was always in amazement to how they were so organised all the time and out of the house on time when I was always late and just had to get me and baby out)
Mums who tried and it didn't work out for whatever reason feel guilty
BF mums often feel judged in public

Reality is happy baby happy mum whatever way a baby is fed.

[InvisibleToEveryone]

Me too.

I was so determined to breastfeed my last child more than I did the others...he ended up being "failure to thrive" , my determination to breastfeed basically starved him .

[Misty999]

Same here although my lactation consultant insisted the baby was getting milk. I couldn't express colostrum either. Never needed to use a breast pad no leaking nothing boobs were never sore or engorged.

Due again in four days pressure to bf is immense especially because my first had a dairy allergy. Will give it a go but taking ready made formula with me this time.