If you could compile a 'helpful hints' leaflet on breastfeeding...

[YokoReturns]

...what would it look like? My SIL is about to give birth to DC1 and I’d love to support her in breastfeeding but don’t want to come across as pushy/know-it-all.

I was thinking something like:

1. Feed on demand, all day and all night if required

1. Lie down in bed to feed, don’t even bother with cradle hold

1. If baby cries: boob

1. Feeding at night boosts supply

1. Baby needs to take a huge ‘bite’ in order to latch on

1. Don’t time/space feeds, this will happen naturally (eventually)

1. If none of the above is working, or breastfeeding is horrifically painful, get checked for tongue tie

1. Www.kellymom.com is the bible

I think I would have liked to have known that in the first couple of days after giving birth, your milk supply is completely different to what it's like once your milk has 'came in' after afew days. I used to squeeze my breast to check if anything was coming out, as when my newborn was feeding, I didn't feel any milk passing through (if that makes sense). I think I expected it to drip or run out instantly. Even when the BF nurse came round when I was in hospital the day after giving birth, she squeezed my nipple and was happy with what was there, but it didn't look like what I expected.
Once home, I remember going to bed one night about 3/4 days after giving birth and my armpits felt really lumpy. I woke up in the night and my breasts felt full, and milk was literally running out of both nipples all over me and the sheet. It had came in. I had no idea that was how it happened!

mrblooms yes

These are all brilliant. Just to add, I’ve fed both my sons for the grand total of 4 years so far (still going!) but I don’t want to put her off by being ‘an expert’. Sometimes it’s helpful to hear of struggles and subsequent solutions.

Oh, and I agree about finding your preferred position.

I’m not going to offer her a list of tips, I just want to have one ready in case she finds it tough. Again, I don’t want to preach/be pushy.

Btw bertie you are incredibly knowledgeable, I’m sure you’ve got me through some hard times with the boobs in the past!

Aww Thanks!

In a way, it’s kind-of helpful to just say,’totally normal, keep going’ to most issues, or ‘wet and dirty nappies? You’re doing fine’. She’s lovely and very much an ‘organiser’ so I’m worried she’ll think BF should all be more regimented than it usually is —I’m a slattern and a lazy cow so I was fine—

Someone said about BF that if you're either super organised or very laid back it works but it's more difficult if you're in the middle. I don't know how true that is but certainly being very organised isn't a barrier to BF - and she might find that your approach doesn't work for her but something else does.

Gosh. This is a great topic.

Defo feed on demand. Why would you do it any other way?

Defo get help in hospital. I had about 30 different mws and hca help me get my son latched.

Breastfeeding does hurt at the start. It doesn’t mean your baby is latched incorrectly.

If baby is pooping and making wet nappies, your supply is fine. Trust your body.

My baby dropped nearly 10% of his body weight in the first few days. I didn’t supplement with formula. Blood loss in pregnancy meant my supply took longer to come in.

When your milk comes in you may well be an emotional wreck.

The baby blues is real.

Breastfeeding and having a newborn sucks at the start and you may very likely want to put your baby back inside and go back to your old life. This is normal. You are doing one of the hardest things ever. You are not a bad mother.

If your nips are sore/cracked/blistered, give the worst one a break and pump from it while it heals.

Expect to be more tired than you’ve ever known.

Those apron-like nursing covers are useful.

Eat a lot and drink as much water as you can.

Oh god and as Tiramisu said there’s no need to obsessively record feeds. It’ll drive you mad.

If breastfeeding is important to you, then make it a priority. This might mean delaying visits from friends and relatives and planning days around visits to clinics during the first few weeks.

Read up in advance. Educate yourself and your partner.

If it keeps hurting - get help. Breastfeeding network lady saved me. I had thrush and didn't know. The stabbing needle pains through the whole breast and inability to walk outside without having layers on to protect temperature change to the nipped and the white nipples after feeding were all classic signs. Dose of medicine and it stopped hurting overnight. Just like that

Best advice I got was that your boobs produce milk while baby is sucking - so most worries about low supply are unfounded and the amount of milk you get through expressing/Pumping is not a reflection of your supply, because babies are way more adept at getting milk out of your boobs than a machine.

I would also say don’t piss around with expressing/feeding expressed milk in the early days.

Feeding from the boob is the most effective way of establishing breast feeding. Feeding more will be far more effective at increasing supply than expressing.

Also don’t be afraid to say no if a hcp suggests formula. I got very good at saying i’m ok feeding again, i don’t need a break, i am fine with the constant feeding. I found i was offered formula every time a hcp saw me feeding “again”.

Pumping is ok; sure baby latching on is better but pumping is ok when the milk comes in and your baby isn't up to date with the "latch on fully and stay awake" memo.

When the milk comes in prepare for the crying of a thousand tears and the whole malarkey hitting you like a brick. Eat chocolate. Keep pumping. Cuddle baby. It'll be passed in 48h.

Remember it is a new skill which may take time to learn - practise patience and perseverance
Take each day as it comes- I planned to just get to six weeks with BF and continued for much longer but would have found the thought of feeding for ages overwhelming at the start
Def feed on demand but you can start to implement gentle routines once your supply is established- routine was really helpful for me later on and is possible with a breastfed baby (after newborn craziness)
The long feeds do shorten later on but are an important time for you to stop and sit with your baby and is a great time to bond
I don't know how close you are but I had my mum dismiss anything i said about changing to bottles as if it was a ridiculous idea which actually was really helpful when everyone else was encouraging me to stop BF when it was hard

Find where her nearest BF support group is. I found that invaluable and went regularly (was at local children's centre) even if I wasn't having problems that week but I became confident in what was "normal" around BF as people can come out with trap "advice".
Drink plenty!

If baby feeds for four hours straight and your boobs are now saggy FOREVER - baby has REFLUX!

If your baby poos 12 times a day - stop eating DAIRY!

Wear breast shells between feeds. Let those nipples breathe!!

Great thread

Google and YouTube Dr Jack Newman to watch videos on breastfeeding. He is amazing and gave me so much confidence, he teaches you how to look for swallowing and latching techniques.

Totally agree on the cluster feeding. Just hearing that it’s normal keeps you going, it gets easier!

Breastfeeding is amazing, wonderful. Everyone still says what a great baby my breastfed baby was, never cried. Honestly it’s because every time she squeaked I just fed her, very straightforward!

Multimam breast compresses. So so good for healing. Burning pain in your nipples even when not feeding may be thrush. After pains - normal! And milk fever - some women get feverish and achy when their milk comes in. I panicked because I thought I was coming down with something - then boom, milk everywhere!

That it's like wearing in a new pair of shoes. At first it is uncomfortable and sometimes even painful enough to want to stop wearing them altogether.

You dread every time you have to wear them for a short while, but quite quickly you wear them in, they stop rubbing and the more you wear them the more comfortable they become and you forget that it ever hurt to wear them.

It does hurt, at first ( a lot for me).

Count. I used to count down from
latch on to...when it became bearable and over the weeks it went from 25 (when my toes curled) to zero ( when it was fine).

If you want to do it you have to grit your teeth and say that I am going to do it. Saying I'm going to try it and see if it works very rarely will work.

Some babies will feed and feed. My 9.8oz never dropped an oz but fed from 7 at night right through for 12 hours, napping occasionally!😭😭

If you get past 2 months you will be fine and it gets quite nice and convenient then.

Find out where help is available and check - all the NCT counsellors in my area had moved without telling them and the council place wasn't open during half term and you're supposed to know when school holidays are as soon as you give birth. Also look up where breast pumps and My Breast Friend cushions could be sourced in a hurry.

Personally I found it very helpful to realise about a third of women find bf straightforward, another third find it OK after a bit of help, and the rest probably could do it with a lot of help which may not exist. SIL reassuring me that I was trying much harder than her but having more problems really helped. Turned out ds had oral thrush from antibiotics at birth and gave it to me.

Advice from my friend: a chunk of chocolate with every night feed really helps!

*If baby feeds for four hours straight and your boobs are now saggy FOREVER - baby has REFLUX!

If your baby poos 12 times a day - stop eating DAIRY!*

Eh? Is this based in any fact? Or is it your own opinion?

That is certainly not how the medical profession diagnose reflux. And frequent pooing could be due to many things.

Another top tip, learn to separate fact from opinion presented as fact!