I am devastated. My 2.5 year old bit another boy on the hand at his playgroup today. He was there with my mother and has been told they would rather he didn't return.
Both my mother and mother in law have put it partly down to him not getting enough attention from me.
I agree this may be partly true as I posted not so long back about how I could manage bf my baby with a toddler to entertain.
Thing is: I either give up bfing to see if that helps DS1's challenging behaviour and feel guilty about how this affects my 5 week old baby or I continue bfing and worry about how it is damaging my other son. He has shown nothing but affection towards his little brother so I am not even sure this is the root of the problem. He has been physical in the past when frustrated but never before on this level.
Not only do I not know where to go from here with the bfing but also with DS1 biting - how do I stop this becoming a habit?
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Infant feeding
Advised to stop bfing baby because of toddler's challenging behaviour
BabyLove2014 · 06/02/2014 22:51
Oh dear, she was embarrassed that he bit another child under her care and made a rash "we won't return" as a way of placating everyone. I can sympathise, but really, how silly. Many toddlers bite, one of the reasons we take them to groups is so that they can be supervised whilst they learn how to play nicely.
He'll soon learn that biting means the end of the game (whether because adults intervene or because other children choose to move away and do something else). Please try not to see this as a huge character problem, lots of toddlers experiment like this. We of course have to try our hardest to prevent other children from being hurt but removing him from the group altogether seems a huge over-reaction.
My DS is 18 months, we haven't had him bite or be bitten (yet! hope we can avoid it) but there's all sorts of things he is having to learn, not to snatch toys etc. He's not a bully in the making, he just doesn't know the rules of playing yet, he sees a toy he wants to play with and goes straight for it. He'll learn, we'll help him to learn, and the other mums at the group I go to are understanding, laugh off my apologies and help him learn by offering him or the other child a different toy that isn't being played with.
It has nothing to do with how your younger child is fed. I can't see why anyone would make that connection. All small babies require lots of attention which a sibling could be put out by. I wonder if your mum just isn't confident about handling the biting situation and found the experience so mortifying that she doesn't want to return. But it doesn't mean you can't ever go back. He's not the first toddler to have ever bit anyone.
How are you feeling? You've got a lot on your plate trying to learn how to mother two young children. I only ask because your worries and guilt about DS becoming a bully and it effecting his life forever, is a type of thinking called "catastrophising" (thinking the worst). I'm sure everyone does it sometimes, but it happens more when we are feeling down. Try to look after yourself, getting as much rest as you can even if you need to rely on others to take over household chores etc.
Do remember to ask your HV or GP for help if you are feeling depressed, they won't judge you and they can help.
Breastfeeding gets easier as your baby gets older. You put in the hours now, and later you get the easiest method of soothing and feeding a baby. You'll be multitasking while feeding before you know it.
Some other ideas for toddler whilst you are feeding - colouring book, sticker books, story books, stick on some music for him to dance to, anything he will be able to occupy himself with for a little while, or something you can do together. And the Cbeebies or a dvd isn't the end of the world.
Its lovely that he is already being a caring big brother, try not to doubt that even if he gets frustrated sometimes.
Take care 
Just adding my voice to the chorus!
I have a 19, 20 and 22 month gap between my 4 children. In the long run, breast feeding will be WAY more easier than bottle feeding. I perfected breastfeeding in a sling eventually, and if you have no shame, you an breastfeed while chasing after a toddler in the park 
It's just a phase. Some kids are biters, some kids get bitten. I've had both and wouldn't judge anyone too harshly when my child is bitten ( and one of mine was a terrible biter).
Playgroup reacted very badly.
Trust your instincts with the breastfeeding. Your toddler will be challenging, because he is a toddler! I have one of them, and although she is my fourth, she still drives me to tears at times!
It's hard adapting to juggling more than one child, but I've always found after the first three months, it becomes a lot easier. Enjoy your little family, op!
I suspected it had come from your mother!
Five weeks is SO early! Of course you haven't got time for housework and are feeding constantly - the baby is building up your supply. It will all get easier in the next few weeks, honestly it will. Your baby won't feed like this forever.
It's a huge overreaction on your mother's part to say she won't take him back because of perfectly normal toddler behaviour. It is NOT caused by you breastfeeding. Lots of toddlers go through this phase. Itisn't your fault or your son's fault. It's normal, it won't last forever. You certainly are not a failure, you are doing brilliantly.
Whether or not to top up with formula is your choice. I f it were me, I would hang on and let your supply build up and your baby's feeding to settle a bit. But make whatever choice is best for you and will make you happiest 
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What a load if BS! Can you remember feeling neglected at the age of two because your mother was feeding another sibling? I certainly can't.....
Your DS bite another child because that's sometimes what children do! Your DS1 is old enough to know biting is wrong, just speak to the nursery it's not a big deal unless he's doing it everyday and to the same child.
When my DD bit another child at nursery, I asked her why she said, she wanted to know what he tasted like 
Perfectly innocent and quite funny really.
I have a 2yr and a 3wk old...god it's tough. Don't listen to your mother or MIL.
Ok. So first job on your list should be to find a nice playgroup/ nursery where they have some idea about children and behaviour. For someone to suggest you stop bf-ing..well the mind boggles at that logic. 
Second should be to stop flapping about whether everything is down to the toddler feeling pushed out due to new baby.
Honestly, if you look hard enough for an issue there's a good chance you'll find one. I have five children (inc my step-son) and we've never had bad behaviour because of the new baby (and there have been a few new babies). We have had bad behaviour because of the older DC's age though.
Toddlers push boundaries. Children starting school push boundaries. Teenagers push boundaries.
So he bit someone. So what? Kids at that age bite, pinch, hit, snatch and generally act like like little barbarians. That's why we parent them so closely whilst we socialise them.
Deal with it like you would any other unacceptable behaviour. What you absolutely must not do is start pandering to DC1 because some loony HV has suggested that any bad behaviour on his part is likely to be down to the new sibling for the next however many weeks.
If you make sure that DC1 has plenty of positive attention, keep his routine as normal as possible and ensure that the important people aren't bee-lining for baby at the expense of DC1 you'll be fine.
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