Join Sarah Moss to talk about our May Book of the Month, NIGHT WAKING, on Wed 30 May 9-10pm

[TillyBookClub]

May's Book of the Month is one of the best books on motherhood I've read for ages. Like Helen Simpson in Hey Yeah Right Get a Life, Sarah Moss is one of those authors that just nails it. This is a book you'll be passing on to everyone around you, and should win prizes for its author.

Anna Cassingham (aka Dr Bennet) is an Oxford Research Fellow writing a history book. Only she isn't, because she is also trying to cope with the incessant interruptions, questions and demands of precocious, death-obsessed, seven year old Raph and two year old Moth, who has yet to sleep through the night. Husband Giles, owner of the tiny island of Colsay where they have come to live for the summer, is keen on homemade bread and recycling, less keen on childcare and clean surfaces. Whilst planting a tree one day, the family discover a baby's skeleton, which sets Anna (and the police) on a papertrail of stories that are interlinked with the island's history and Giles's family. The dialogue is sharp and funny, the observations are lively and true to life. Above all, the tension between the visceral love for your family and the need for self-preservation is brilliantly explored.

Find out more on the book of the month page, and you can check out Sarah's website for videos, reviews and more details on the people and places that inspired the book.

Granta have given us 50 copies to give away to Mumsnetters - to claim yours go to the book of the month page and fill in your details. We'll post here when all the copies have gone. If you're not lucky enough to bag one of the free books, you can always get your paperback or Kindle version here.

We are delighted that Sarah will be joining us to chat about NIGHT WAKING, motherhood and her writing career on Wednesday 30 May, 9-10pm. Hope you can join us then...

[blubberguts]

Simple question : what's next? (what are you working on now and when is it likely to be published?)

[mcmooncup]

[JudesMummy84]

McMoonCup- I misread it as NightWanking too - too much time on MN, eh?!

I agree with lumbago

It really annoyed me that Anna couldn't get her shit together - we have all had days when we have had to chop the mould off the bread but when you know you are going to be out of Naice Ham Supermarket delivery area then you would be more organised, sleep deprived or no.

I suppose it rang true with the academic stereotype, that they have Higher Functions than the rest of us and so can't concentrate on the quotidien.

Like my Oxford educated friend who can debate philosophy for hours but can't distinguish between the two branches of the northern line.

I did enjoy it, and more so the latter half of the book especially the line about brain damage caused by childcare being permanent.

I will try and think of a question before tonight as not sure I will make it later as webchat clashes with apprentice

[maandpa]

mcmooncup - thats what my dh calls this book, when I' looking for it around the house / garden!!!!

I have really enjoyed this book. I'm relieved to see that another mom gets really irritated, shows irritation, and then feels so guilty. Its a horrible vicious circle. This aspect of motherhood was acutely observed. It was close to the bone, and made me wince!

[valiumpoptarts]

Hello Sarah,
really enjoying the book but um... haven't got very far in it as 18mo DS has started waking up at 5 every day and I can't manage anything more challending than Zingzillas
So my question is, do you have a thing you do that keeps you feeling human rather than just a parent/employee/writer? Or is writing and teaching and having kids enough to keep you going?!

[LadyDisdain]

I'm half way through and trying not to gobble it up. I love the observations, the underlying humour and there are some magnificent sentences. I'm doing a great job of marketing it for you. Love the gruffalo chant, the night wakings, walking through Oxford while trying to get back to sleep. Although I do sometimes want to shout advice at Anna.

At some point in the book, Anna thinks about childless couples and wonders whether she would have children if she could go back and do it again and her answer is no. As an academic/mother, I relate to so much of the book but couldn't relate to this. Surely picking this beautiful torture again and again makes it all more torturous. I'm not sure there is a question here, except maybe: really?

A proper question: does writing about motherhood and children sideline you? Is this viewed as lesser or softer by publishers, reviewers etc?

[Blatherskite]

Not sure I'm reading the same book as everyone else. I'm finding it very hard going.

[aristocat]

Hello Sarah, I loved your book and I hope there is a sequel in the making for Anna because I also thought the book ended quickly.

Your thoughts and attention to detail are excellent, and everything just re-inforced how life changing children can be

Sorry I cannot be back this evening but my question was, is it writing or lecturing that gives you the most satisfaction? And why?

[southlondonlady]

I loved this book - the historical thread, the present day thread, the characters - all of it - great choice Tilly!

I am someone who loved maternity leave, and find my days with my toddler mostly a lot of fun, and I think this is due in large part to having lots of support. The book really gave me an insight into what life can be like for people who don't have that support, and I felt sad for Anna because she really misses out on enjoying her kids. But, but...I felt she put an awful lot of pressure on herself in some ways too, eg couldn't Moth have had a bottle of forumla just the once when she went to the Oxford dinner?? And the bread making, oh my word. Anna just doesn't seem to value her own health / sanity at all. My question for Sarah is, do you think our modern parenting culture encourages this?

And a second quick question if that's OK - Raph and Moth are adorable, are they based on your own kids?

[blubberguts]

Sarah, Could you talk a little bit about Raph and his anxieties. What are they about do you think and what is the function of this theme in the book?

[champagnesuperdupernova]

Marking place.

[cakes82]

I enjoyed the book and wanted to keep reading it, but I did feel it annoyed me a little bit too. I think it was as the different sections and how they joined together that the book really started to make sense to me. I did find Annas parenting style and general behaviour very irritating but then given her husbands general lack of support it wasn't really suprising. I found it very difficult to understand why moth slept so badly, although maybe Annas lack of inner calm and ability to get exactly what he wanted may not have helped. Despite my previous comments I really enjoyed second half of book!

[hippy99]

I thoroughly enjoyed this book. I understand Anna's love for her children, but how they still drive her to the edge at times.
I am interested in Judith's character. She is very focused on outward appearances and very snobbish with negative beliefs. We do get glimpses of her concern/love for Zoe even though she doesn't show it very well. The book implies it is the stress of Judith that is the cause of Zoe's eating issues. Is this the case?
Do you think it is the breakdown of Judith's relationships with Zoe and Brian plus a lack of career/focus which has turned her to alcohol? I hope their story ends well!
Thanks for a great book. My mind is reeling now it has ended.

[TillyBookClub]

Evening everyone

I love it when the bookclub thread becomes so crammed with voices and opinions that I almost forget we?re discussing an entirely fictional thing. And the pin sharp observations in Night Waking also make me feel like I?ve known Anna in real life.

I am thrilled that Sarah Moss is here tonight to throw light on the inspiration and research behind this book, and to talk about motherhood and writing and how on earth the two go together.

We?ve already got a vast number of messages to get through, so without further ado:

Sarah, firstly, thank you very much indeed to taking the time to join us. And many congratulations on a brilliant, thought-provoking book. We'll kick off with the advance questions from further up the thread. And then we'll aim to get through as many new ones as possible over the next hour, although getting through all the posts above may take a good chunk of that...

I'd also like to add our two standard MN Bookclub questions (which we ask all authors, and will be archived on the site):

Which childhood book most inspired you?

What would be the first piece of advice you would give anyone attempting to write fiction?

Over to you...

[SarahMoss1596]

Hello everyone, and thank you so much for some wonderful, thoughtful questions. To answer the Mumsnet standard questions:


I read all the time as a child, everything from the Chalet School to Jane Eyre, with a particular passion for the Anna of Green Gables and Laura Ingalls Wilder series. In general, I?d say that I started with literary responses to the experience of being female and I?m still working on that now.

What would be the first piece of advice you would give to anyone attempting to write fiction?

If it?s easy, you?re not doing it properly

[SarahMoss1596]

@Hullygully

Hi Sarah,

I really liked the book (and Cold Earth). One of the things I liked in particular was the fact that you put the children as much centre stage as the adults. Children are usually such minor characters (if seen at all), it was great to have real life small people roaming about the pages. Were you aware how unusual this is when you chose to do it? Did you have to persuade your editors..?

Hi Hully,

So glad you liked it! (Especially after reading your glorious contributions to the last BOTM?) Yes, I knew it was unusual, and that was one of the reasons why I wanted to do it. There didn?t seem to be much adult fiction around that recognizes that children are just as individual and distinctive as adults, just as much whole people with their own views. My lovely editor has never suggested that I should do anything but write about what calls me.

[Ishoes]

I asked my question further up but in case mnhq missed it-

Anna infers that though sex with giles is infrequent it is still good and reminds her why they are together-do you personally think that good sex can make up for having a shit husband?

[SarahMoss1596]

@FairyArmadillo

Finished this book last night. I was mesmerized by the opening sentence with the swans. Thought the book was very well written and enjoyed it overall. However I found it difficult reading at some points, partly because some of the main character's feelings about motherhood echoed mine at some of the hardest points of my own experience. The hardest thing I identified with in the book was the desperate feeling of being so exhausted and emotionally depleted, out of control and resenting my child for still needing me. That feeling that you love your kids with all your heart but feel that having them and looking after them has cost you your identity.

I really enjoyed the book though and appreciated the amount of research the author undertook to make the story behind the dead baby and May's letters believable.

I'd like to ask the author how much of her own experience of parenting went into the book?

Well, one of the pleasures of fiction is that you can get away from your own experience, or use it as a jumping-off point for something quite different. Anna?s not me ? I would never go to an isolated island with no support or childcare and a book to write ? but she?s a bit like what I might have become if I?d made different decisions. It was obvious to me from very early on that I need work and childcare to be a good mother.

[SarahMoss1596]

Ishoos, my husband isn?t a useless twunt so I wouldn?t know! But I don?t think Giles is either ? unobservant and emotionally obtuse, maybe, but not entirely useless. He can and does look after the kids, and cook, and change the sheets, but he doesn?t think about it all the time and he is able to concentrate on his work in a way that Anna can?t. And I think sex can be a way of articulating aspects of a relationship that go unspoken elsewhere.

[SarahMoss1596]

@Teaddict

Hi Sarah, am really enjoying your book, keep sneaking a read whilst cbeebies is on cos I can't wait till bedtime! I've just watched your Fiction Uncovered interview on YouTube so I know why you went into Fiction instead of/as well as academic writing but I'm so impressed you managed to have lucid thoughts and ideas whilst on maternity leave! I too am frustrated with Anna in the book - come on love, get it together - but can totally empathise, like most women on here, it's all so true to life and amazingly observed.

Here's my question for you - My nickname is Teaddict because I found that the uplift and comfort I got/get from a cup of tea really helped me through the dark days of a new Mum's sleeplessness and boredom, like a little hug in a mug. What do you think got you through those times? Was it the idea of writing novels, the thought of returning to academia?

Thank you, Teaddict! I?m all for sneaky reading?

Yes, it was thinking about the book I?d write when I could write again, knowing that I would return to the world of reading and writing and talking to adults and, second time around, knowing that those early weeks pass and you?ll get to know your child as a real person as well as a very loud way of converting milk into poo.

[Hullygully]

Yes, a lot of the time Anna lets him be the way he is. Personally I'd have clocked him one.

[SarahMoss1596]

@NoraHelmer

I finished reading Night Waking last night. I found the comparison between the different parenting styles in the novel was interesting - in the present day between Anna and Judith and in the past comparing Anna with Mrs Buchan and Mrs Grice.

I saw Anna as a modern mother struggling with many roles and not having enough time for any of them. Compare with Judith who had too much time so "helicoptered" Zoe, who felt stifled, whereas Anna's children had the opportunity to be themselves (I didn't see that as neglect at all). Was she any worse than Mrs Buchan who let a school child she barely knew take her baby out for a walk whilst she went for a rest? We were also shown how the child Mary Homerton was emotionally damaged by her relationship with her mother.

My question to Sarah Moss, therefore, is did you intend for your novel to portray different attitudes towards parenting? I thought the inclusion of quotations from Anna Freud at the start of the chapters was quite telling. Was it also a coincidence that Anna shared her name?

The two Annas are coincidence, but yes, I was interested in the way ideas about parenting change ? and don?t change ? over time, and how far knowing cultural history can save us from the more damaging extremes of our own culture. In Anna?s case, it makes her more aware of the cultural and historical specificity of motherhood but not, apparently, able to feel or do anything different. And I think that well-educated and politicized women often find that being able to construct an intelligent analysis of one?s own situation is surprisingly little help in dealing with it. What really interested me about Anna Freud was that some of her work, done during WW2, suggests that young children do better in good institutions than at home with their mothers. And then the state wanted women back at home and suddenly the new truth was that all children need full-time care from their mothers at home.

[TillyBookClub]

I'd love to know if there was anything major that you cut out or rewrote - did the arc of the story and the characterisation come quite clearly from the beginning or did you make any huge changes as you progressed?

[SarahMoss1596]

Hully, yes, me too, or never allowed things to reach that stage. But women do, don't they? Positions get entrenched and mothers are too tired, and maybe resentment has become too much part of who they are, to change things.

[Hullygully]

Competitive tiredness and misery.

I agree resentment becomes entrenched.