Trinity here with some very sad news from Purplepillow

[GiantSnailFeelers]

I'm afraid Purplepillows mum died yesterday at about 11am. She went peacefully and she had reached the ripe old age of 83.

Purple has been her full time carer for 9 years now. She has been amazing and took on everything.

At the beginning of the year her mum was in hospital for long periods. It was her bone marrow. She rallied and they managed to have a lovely summer together.

She was admitted to hospital again on Saturday night and passed Wednesday morning.

Purples two daughters are devastated. Their Gran was their other parent.

Purple is doing ok. I'm staying with her.

A wonderful woman has been lost

Much love to Purple and all the family

[Mouseface]

Massive hugs to you all, I'm sorry that you're struggling Puhps sweetheart xxx

You're in my thoughts xxx

[GiantSnailFeelers]

morning all

purple has been very busy sortung a lot of stuff out and she is struggling now

she asked me to post to let you know she is ok

also maybe to give you a little laugh
her mum was always a stubborn woman who liked to keep people on their toes and she has decided to leave all of her belongings to purple

purple is the youngest of six and the only girl.
only her mum would do something so obviously going to make waves in the family.

You've gotta laugh or you'd cry purple says

we also have a funeral date weds 27th at 1pm

thanks to everyone for their kind support

[Mouseface]

Hey lovely,

Sorry I've not been around today, how are you?

Sending love and giant HUGS your way xxx

[PacificDogwood]

Aw, purple, I've only just found this thread - I am so very sorry for your and your girls' loss .

Your mother was obviously an important part of your lives and was much loved.
I am sure that she will have known that just as you know that she loved you.

Please be kind to yourself.

I know you have been an amazing friend to Trinity and I am glad that you have her support now.

Much love and strength to you all x.

[Mouseface]

Hey Puhps - just off to bed but wanted to send you some sleepy dust to sprinkle over you all tonight.

I hope that you and your wonderful DD's are finding comfort in each other and managing however you can to get through the hours that drag and both fly by.

I'll check in again tomorrow if I may, I hope you're being 'fed and watered'.... you have to look after YOU too sweetheart.

Night xxx

[PuhpullPlaylow]

Thank you everyone

Mouse you put things how I want to but really can't find the words

The girls are doing as ok as they can just now ??

My heart goes out to you all that have lost someone recently (or not so recently)

I think that yes I'm going to miss so much about her, there has hardly been a day in my whole life that I have not been with her, if not spoken with her in her healthier days, but it's the finality of it all as I lost my dad almost 40 years ago and I only have 1 aunt left.

I just wish I could turn the clock back a bit and know for definite that she knew how much she meant to me even with all the silly wee arguments ?? iykwim

[venusandmars]

purple I don't know you, but I feel kind of linked to Trinity (so felt I wanted to post here, if that's OK?)

My Mum died earlier this year, she was 85, but the number of years doesn't make a difference to how you feel. My Dad had been her full time carer for a long time, and I see how much his life changed - very suddenly - after her death. But, now (a few months later) I also see my Dad coming back into his own life, being able to go places and do things he hadn't done for a while. And although we still feel a great sadness, it has softened a little, it doesn't feel so raw, and as we approach all the milestones of Christmas, Hogmanay, etc without her, we also notice the new changes.

It's a tough time. But cling to knowing that you gave so much of yourself over recent years. Whatever you did was more than enough. x

[caramelwaffle]

Sorry for your loss

[Agnesmum]

I am so sorry Purple, my mum died three weeks ago aged 84. So sad, nothing can prepare you for the sheer physical and emotional pain. Thinking of you.

[Mouseface]

Hey Puhps - I keep expecting her to phone me :(

And her number(s) is/are in your mobile, you know them off by heart no doubt, little things like that are the ones that hurt the most...... the day to day stuff that seems so small.

At some point in time, you'll wonder if you should delete the number(s) or not, because you don't need it anymore, then chastise yourself for even going there. Don't. Please lovely.

It's all part of loss and the healing process our clever little brains put us through. None of what you are going through right now is pleasant, nice or kind, but it's not supposed to be, death is the one certain thing in life that will happen to us all.

Time, however, is your best friend, as well as the lovely Snail/Trin, because the fondest memories will be the ones you will never forget. Christmas is going to be hard, for you all know that and the best times will be remembered, toasted, cried and laughed about :)

When my closest friend died a few days before my 30th, I didn't delete her numbers, I waited for her to call, I missed going shopping, having her at the end of the phone, the phone with her numbers in it. I'd call her mobile so I could hear her voicemail message....

I got a new phone a few years later and just didn't transfer her numbers across. It didn't feel wrong, it didn't feel like anything really. I just didn't need the number anymore.

Sorry to hear about your MIL Shelley xxx

My mum was blue lighted to hospital today.... just after 12.30pm, I've not heard anything but my dad called (crying :( ) before she went, just as the crew were loading her into the ambulance, and said "I can't do this anymore, I need you to teach me to care for her NG feed......" I had to cut him short and tell him to go get in the ambulance.

Hopefully, they'll insert the NG when she's in there, and get an assign feeding nurse sorted for when she's home....

It's so hard because you think that no matter what, your parents are invincible. They have no mortality, they are untouchable because they've always been your parents, cared for you, shown you the way, or even if you'd been estranged, the knowledge of losing a parent, the actual act of it happening to you is so hard....

How are the DD's today Puhps? Stupid question?

Sending all my love xxx

[PuhpullPlaylow]

Shelley, my heart goes out to you too

I think it's one if the hardest things I've ever experienced

I keep expecting her to phone me ??

I know it will get easier in time but I'll never stop missing her but yes she made us laugh so much and those memories are the ones we will cling to

Thank you all for your lovely words especially you mouseface x

[Shellywelly1973]

Sending you hugs & condolences.

My mil died exactly 2 months ago today. I was her Carer. She was my dc 3 rd parent.

I love her so much & miss her everyday.

She was a great lady & I take comfort in remembering the giggling & daft stuff we used to get up to.

Take care of yourselves.

[SconeRhymesWithGone]

Purple, I am so very sorry to hear about your mum. Please know that all our family here in Florida are thinking about you and your girls.

We're thinking about you, too, Trinity. In my experience, loving friendship is the greatest comfort of all.

[custardo]

sorry for your loss xx

[GiantSnailFeelers]

purple is reading the thread

mouse, thankyou, such kind words and purple says yes exactly how it feels

thanks girders

oh and mouse, you made her cry
I'm going to have to pinch you

[FromGirders]

So sorry purple :-(

[Mouseface]

Oh Puhpull - I'm so glad you are with the most wonderful Trin just now.

Life continues around you, whilst your own is in devastation and you wonder why everyone isn't seeing that, noticing what has happened, holding you, soothing you, stopping the pain and just getting on with their day.....

The sun rises and sets, the weather, well, it rains if you're where I think you are! The days begin and they end yet they blur into each other.

The news still comes onto the tv at 1pm, 6pm and 10pm and you get to hear all about how wonderful some halfwit sleb's life is because they've got some wonderful new shite to broadcast.... when all that you want, is for the world outside those doors to stop and take note of how you heart is breaking. Aching, crushed and how lost you feel and scared about how you'll move forward......

Your life as you knew last week, this time last week is so very different now. The practical side of death is so clinical, sterile, the arrangements, the details, the words, the reasons, the whys/whens/hows etc.....

Your head must be hurting lovely lady. You must ache all over.

I don't 'know' you as such, but I know of you through the unconditional love and support you selflessly gave to Trin and her girls when she lost Neil and then tragically, again, Cliff too.

Life, at times, is mean, cruel, twisted and utterly fucked up.... but sometimes, life kind of knows when a person has just had enough.

My own mother is extremely ill just now and Trin posted some very comforting words to me earlier today when I shared the news with the Brave Babes thread. Thank you Trin

Take good care of YOU too Puhpull - YOU too need love and support, as much as your gorgeous girls do, you too need to feel the warmth of someone holding you, when the time is right, someone saying it's okay to cry, be cross, be happy, remember, love her, miss her, etc. Feel.

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you don't mind me posting to you, Trin told the BBs what had happened to you earlier today.

My heart and strength go out to you and your DD's tonight, tomorrow and always.

Mouse xxx xxx

[GiantSnailFeelers]

thanks everyone for your kind words

[NomDeClavier]

Very sorry to hear this :( Thanking of you and your family, purple

[GiantSnailFeelers]

morning all, purple has stopped posting just now. shes feeling a bit mashed in the head.

she is touched by your kindness, thank you
she has eaten and we're just going to have a quiet day.

thanks again for being so supportive as you always are

[ChippingInLovesAutumn]

Purple - I'm so sorry to hear about your Mum :( No matter how old they are or how old we are, it's a huge loss, it must be even harder when you have been her carer.

I hope your brother is able to be supportive & helpful.

[PuhpullPlaylow]

I probably will miss them but trinity and her dd1 have hardly left our sides since Monday morning. She has been amazing doing everything for me

Going to have a quiet weekend until my oldest brother gets here on Monday, then we're going to solicitors together

[Mintyy]

So sorry to hear this news Purple.

I am so glad that you have Trinity with you and supporting you. You have an amazing friendship and have helped each other so much. I am sure she will take good care of you.

All my very best wishes.

Mintyy x

[SconeForAStroll]

That's ok,

Is there anything practical the rest of us can do to help?

[AuntieMaggie]

So sorry to hear this