If a 3 1/2 year old boy said hello or waved to your dc would they reply?

[deaconblue]

Ds often says hello or waves to children he doesn't know at a park, for example. Almost always the other child responds by staring at ds as if he is nuts. I've also taught him to say "my name is shoppingbags' ds, what's your name?" as an introduction to play but again most kids ignore this.
So do your dc's respond to strange small boys or can you think of a better way he can introduce wanting to play with them?

[thisisyesterday]

yes, ds1 absolteuly woul.d
in fact, he;d have been there introducing himself before your little boy got a chance!
they wouldthen be "bestest friends" forever

so yes, he would. but i know where you're comning from. ds1 will talk to absolutely anyone, but a lot of the time he just gets ignored.

like your ds he also struggled to make friends, which we thought was odd as he was SO outgoing and keen to talk to people.
we discovered theproblem was that whilst he was more than happy to go and talk to other children, he didn;t do it if they were already polaying with other people, or if it was too big a group of children.
he isn't shy, he just doesn't really get how to break into an existing group of kids, and he prefers to play with one or two others, but will actually leave a game he is pklaying if too many others join in

it took him a really long time tomake friends at nursery, but he has just started reception and seems to have a couple of friends already which is good.

[lillee]

Thanks for starting this thread shoppingbags cos this has been the same situation with my DS for almost a year now and it is heartbreaking to watch.

I even cried once (obv not in front of him, kept it til later!) to watch him not just be ignored but to try again and be told to 'go away, don't want to play with you'! He walked back to me saying 'I have no friends and none of the other kids want to play with me'. Then, as we were leaving the park after positive and reassuring noises from me 'I'm on my own' that's when I cried - he was two and a half! He'll be three next month and starting nursery and I was holding out hope that he would get in with a group of friends there.

I really hope so cos I can see his outgoing bubbly personality already taking a battering even with major reassurance from me.

I was like him when I was his age, but I made friends really easily and apparently didn't get the rejection. Do you think it's because we stress the issues about strangers more now?

[nightmareteamgirl]

It is so nice to read this as my DS is the same

He tries so had to make friends and gets upset when he doesnt
lillee I have cried too

[StripeyKnickersSpottySocks]

I think my DD when she was younger (your ds's age) would have stared and not replied. She's very shy. Even now she would probably mutter hello back but not anything else. She would like to play but is too unsure herself what to do.

I've found that in situations like this I would introduce DD to the other kid, ask the other kid their name and say to both of them to play together. Then they were both happy. But I'd need to do the nudging as otherwise DD would just cling to me.

[brimfull]

my ds7 would probably not say anything back
he isn't shy really but responds better if it's more of a sidling into play thing rather than an upfront hello introduction-he would probably find that a bit too strong

[MrsBadger]

dd would stare, then hide in mock-shyness, then smile and wave
if she wants to play with someone she generally starts by barging in to their game and taking charge though, so you may not want to model on her

the attraction is always the activity not the other child though, like Egg's ds and his ball.