Are all boys boysterous?

[Flossam]

Following on from the other thread. I was an only child so my mum only has experience of me and I was an angel . She talks about her friend with a DS the same age as me and talks about what a little nightmare he was. I had my friend visit not long ago (did a thread about that too) and I found him a complete nightmare too! I think DP sounds like he was a cheeky little so and so too.

So are boys naturally more adventurous and noisier creatures? Am I going to have my work cut out for me in a few months time?!

[motherofboys]

As the mother of 3 boys I can tell you that their personalities vary immensly but they all display "male" stereotypical charactersitics (sorry - i am studying psychology!!)
Before having children i was convinced that it was mothers who created pink girls and blue boys with the dollies or trains to go with it, and determined not to do it to my kids. However, it is only very shortly after crawling that you can see it is not mothers, but genetic programming. I Love Boys

[Tortington]

as in they want to climb trees and make cars out of cardboard boxes - yes, but i have found that by doingt hese activities they occupy themselves much more, whereas IME my girl was the most demanding requiring 121 attention.

i have an older boy who was three when my boy girl twins were born. i could give him a clean paint roller and some washing up liquid foam and ask him to paint the house - occasionally tell him how good he was and how helful it was - and he thrived in his own industry -leaving me alone!

[Toothache]

My ds (3.10yrs)is not boistrous AT ALL! In fact we are quite worried about how gentle and careful he is. Will he get bullied at school??? He plays really well with little girls, but boys (even ones 6mths younger than him) try to play rough and he ends up crying, He just will not fight back if children hit or push him.

I don't want to encourage him to hit, but I need him to stick up for himself.
He would never climb up something that he would fall off of, he won't jump from a height of more than 6"!! He is quite loud and happy, but so sooooooooooo sensible!
Any suggestions welcome?? Or perhaps I should start a new thread for those with gentle, careful boys.

[motherofboys]

I don't think you should encourage him to climb or jump from anything other than whatever he wants to. He needs to feel safe.
think of the grown ups you know - not all of the men are adrenaline junkies adventurous types. Your son will find his own way - encourage with praise for the things he does well, and as long as the other children don't bully him i would just not worry. My DS2 is a more creative child - I can't imagine any of the great designers were "boisterous"!

[bobbybob]

Ds has lots of energy to work off, but is polite and gentle if he has had his exercise. I don't have a dog, but it seems similar.

[fisil]

Toothache - snap! A friend and I go to soft play areas and watch her ds tear around bouncing off the walls, while ds collects an interesting looking toy or book and sits at our table absorbed in it. He will go and play with the toys, but in a very controlled way. We laugh because we both worry about our little boys (both 2 1/4) for being too quiet or too loud!

My feeling is that it is fine for ds to be quiet, as long as he is also confident. I reckon he is. When we go out to a restaurant, for example, he will go right over the other side of the room and ask the waiter for the bill or order his pudding, without any fear at all. And he is very good at making eye contact with people and talking to them.

DP and I are sports averse book reading softies so it is no surprise that ds has the same genes as us! I am convinced it is genes, BTW - my friend just laughed at me when I asked her what she did to encourage her ds to be so lively, as maybe I was a bad mum for not encouraging more physical activity.

I am eagerly awaiting no.2 to have more evidence on the nature vs. nurture debate, though!

[tabitha]

Hi Toothache

your ds sounds lovely.
My own son was very sensitive when he was younger (he used to sob as if his heart was broken when Noddy finished on the telly .
Now he's 7 and has 'toughened' up a bit although he's never really been one for guns or shooting or anything like that - just isn't interested.
One thing that did help him get on with other boys when he started school was his love (or should I say obsession) for football, which seems to be a greating 'bonding' thing for wee boys.
If your son's at all interested in football (or other sports) it might be something worth fostering.

[Toothache]

Tabitha - lol! He loves Everton!! Him and his Dad had their strips on yesterday. So perhaps you're right.

[tabitha]

Funnily enough Everton is ds's favourite English team - apparently their manager is from Edinburgh.
Only disadvantage is that you may end up with a son who is a football bore, like mine is sometimes

[Toothache]

Davy Moyes is indeed from Gods Country, and sounds like he has an Edinburgh accent.

Fisil - My friend and I are exaclty the same. He ds comes around and just generally beats up my ds for a couple of hours!!!! He nips him, climbs all over him, takes toys off of him. My ds is bigger and older, but just cannot bring himself to stand up to him. The upsetting thing is that each week she comes around Ds starts off so pleased to see my friends ds. It soon changes though.