Are all 7 year old girls moody , demanding and bordering on rude?

[twinsetandpearls]

Or am I just an exceptionally crap parent because it is starting to feel that way.

DD is so rude at the moment, snapping at me, lots of rolling of eyes and smart comments. She has just come in the room and started jumping on the furniture, I asked her not to. She carried on so I told her again not to do it at which point she flicked her hair and said "I am just one big mistake, nobody loves me" It would never have entered my head to speak to my mum like that at 7.

She is constantly bored, she is an only child but has lots of toys, friends around regularly, pets, dp and I play with her all the time and open farmland to run about on. This evening she said to me when I suggested she take the dog on the field " I am so bored of the field now" This really annoyed me as most children would love to have open space to run about in when they left like it and it feels as if dd is turning into a spolit diva.

She has come into work with me today and when attempting to be cool has come across at times as quite rude.

What do you do when your child is rude?

[lizandlulu]

Oh my god 2009!!!! So the op's 7year old is now around 11!! I wonder if she got through it ok?

I have a dd7, she's 8 in oct. I won't say she's rude, certainnly not to strangers, not that I have noticed, but me and my mum get the brunt of her temper. It is mostly temper issues we have, she can explode in a second over the most trivial thing. But the dH is like that, so wonder if it's genetics rather than parenting!

[helsbels03]

My dd has a terrible attitude, usually to me, her teachers describe her as very polite. I too am at a loss what to do. At the moment I am going for the go to your room until you can speak nicely. But it is hard to get her to go up without more attitude. Her sister 5 yr is copying her now.
Watching with interest for any advice.

[exoticfruits]

Why go back 4 and a half years?

[girliefriend]

Ahhh o.kay that makes sense

[wanderings]

A zombie thread is one which was started a long time ago (look at the date of the OP), which has since been "dug up" and replied to.

[girliefriend]

Whats a zombie thread?

I have a 7yo dd and I do know where you are coming from op, I don't really do playing with her unless it's something structured like a puzzle or a board game so she is quite good at entertaining herself and will play independently for hours which is brilliant. However I do get 'attitude' quite often, I tend to have a zero tolerance approach most of the time and will tell it is not o.kay to speak to me like that and if it continues she will lose t.v time, pudding, toys etc.

She is also an only and just has me so I think there is definately something in she only has me to take her general frustrations out on. When I think about how much me and my brother fought as kids I can see that makes sense.

If i were you op I would get strict about it and explain clearly what is not o.kay and what will happen if it continues. Also I don't think of boredom as a bad thing, its great for the imagination so let her be bored - you really don't need to be her entertainer!!

[manyhatson]

My fear is that if I don't come down pretty strongly on rudeness and 'princess' behaviour that our dd will be a real handful when she's a teenager. So I'm glad to say that we're having some success using the book '123 Magic' (available on Amazon) for our 7yo dd (and 4yo ds), and I really do recommend it. Some days it's the only way I have even the slightest semblance of control at our house!

By the way, at this stage in our house 'coming down strongly' means 'not getting a book at bedtime'.

[Repetitiverobot]

Wow this is like reading about my 6 year old DD who can a blinking nightmare at times, rude, emotional, strong willed, knows it all!!
I honestly love her with all my heart but sometime really don't like her during her outbursts! It's seemed to have sprung up overnight and can last for ages some days. I have found this week that by really biting my tongue and trying not to rise to any drama it's easier to resolve things...although that's not always the easiest!
I'm hoping were getting the teen attitude early and she'll be a delight by the time she's 13....

[yoyo123]

yup give or take 5 years..they'll get there at some time.....

Yours Mum of a 24 year old daughter who is now quite lovely!..(despite........)

[ArmchairDetective]

My DD does is rude bossy and demanding and she is 5- I thought it would get better not worse!!

[roundabout1]

Ha Ha me too user - sums up my dd right now!

[UseHerName]

I know this is a zombie thread - but i'm sooo grateful to have found it!

[rvm]

OMG.......... I thought i was on my own........... :( I am practically tearing my hair out..... I find i frustrating being in teh same room as her, because of her rudenss. She thinks she knows everything. How long does this go on for. She has been playing with another girls at school (who is extremly rude) so I am trying to get her to stop playing with her, but not make it so obvious.My daughter is confident and popular. I think is is ME, when I ask her or call her she just cant hear me. help .....hmmm

[abraid]

'Dp says she is ruder to me than anyone else because I am the person she can do it to'

I think there's something in this. In a backhanded kind of way, it's a compliment to your attachment with your daughter! (Not that it helps when they are. driving. you. demented.)

[twinsetandpearls]

Grr she is at it again.

[twinsetandpearls]

shucks MI I thought you may have all the answers

[motherinferior]

It's not my parenting, I assure you! I think I'm just having a lucky phase .

[ZZZen]

I think it is true that the people we feel love us most, unconditionally and who we are closest to are the people we are most likely to unleash our negative feelings on. Unfortunately this is often a mother's situation.

I think too from what you have said your dd has a lovely life

I'm sorry I don't really know the answers myself but I rmemeber when my dd was miserable at school, I got it and I realised she was letting out her stress on me. Teachers and dp have told me she is no problem at all, very caring and pleasant to everyone and I did think so why the hell do I have to get this side of her?! Once the school stress went, that went too although the underlying fieriness is a part of her make-up and she was like that even as a baby.

[twinsetandpearls]

fancy a swap MI?

[PandaG]

agree with your DP - she is being rude to you bacause as you say you are the constant - so it is like a back handed compliment.

I love my children to bits (DS 9 DD nearly 7) but I don't like them some of the time, and I am sure they don't like me some of the time too.

regarding the pestering - could you maybe tey a timer - say that you want to play the
game with her, but you ned to get xyz done first, and she cannot ask agaoin until the timer has pinged - as constant asking holds you up and drives you nuts. YOu could increase time on timer each occasion, and maybe it would as a physical reminder reinforce the pestering driving you nuts?

I have to admit under the same circumstances I get fed up and say if you ask again I will not do x, and stick to it!

[motherinferior]

Er...no, not all of them. My DD1 has just turned 8 and has been pretty lovely for, well, the last five years.

[twinsetandpearls]

I am strict about rudeness to people outside of the family and it happens very very rarely. She spends a lot of time at her best friends house and they have commented on how she is very polite and we have similar feedback from other parents and her teacher. She snapped at a waitress the other week and I made it clear that this was unnaceptable and she apologised immediatly and I could see that she meant it.

I do admire her for her strength and determination, I had so little confidence as a child that I have tried to raise her to be full of confidence, but perhaps I have gone to far.

[twinsetandpearls]

Dp says she is ruder to me than anyone else because I am the person she can do it to if that makes sense. I am the one constant in her life. She does not see her Dad, we have moved away from family and although she cannot remember dp not being there she does know he is not her Dad and has not always been there.

[ZZZen]

I don't think rudeness to your parents / around them is directly related to how often you play with other dc really Twinset. I don't think you are failing there in any way.

My dd is a right fiery little thing but I can cope with it atm. She will soon be taller than me though and she has informed me that then she will be bossing me about. She will be maybe 10 by then, the way she's ggrowing.

Scarey. I think crack down immediately on rudeness towards people outside the family, explaining why it was rude, asking her to imagine how that person FELT and then say clearly what you expect her to do about it. I would be quite strict about that if you can.

Otherwise I think it is good that in particular girls have a bit of strength and determination to them, so that's why I tend to put up with a lot at home. I can usually wheedle mine out of her worst tempers with a joke. Thankfully

[twinsetandpearls]

Yes it is more to me than anyone else, it is almost as if she dislikes me at times which I find hurtful. She is sometimes a little curt with dp, but she idolises him and to be fair he is a much better parent than me. During term time I can be very busy and can be a little distant but try very hard to make up for it at weekends and holidays. She does not see her Dad very often so is overly polite to him, I do not want her to be like that.

As an example she was being rude before and I said to her why are you talking to people like that and she said I learnt it from you.