Getting a 4 year old to WALK!!!

[FourJays]

My 4 and a half year old refuses to walk anywhere. Constantly cries and says he is "too tired" and has a tantrum when I make him. He runs in front of us too so we can't walk on.

I don't drive and we refuse to carry him but it's been going on for a long time now.
And I'm not talking climbing Ben Nevis or four hours shopping in the Trafford Centre - just school runs or a ten minute walk to the park!

Want to get rid of the buggy when he goes to reception.
Any ideas?

[lljkk]

Sorry, Fourjays, I somehow got the idea that you still wanted to use the buggy for longer journeys (that take more than 1/2 hour for you to walk).

I get tired on long walks of repeatedly picking up the scooter after DS has chucked it into the road in frustration (about all the things that 4yos can manage to get frustrated about), nearly hitting pedestrians and cars in the process. But hey, if that suits other people, that's cool. Personally, I'd rather use a buggy or a buggy board and get there in half the time.

[malloo]

lots of energy needed to keep up the momentum (games, races etc) plus bribery and mild threats (eg. if you don't hurry up we won't have time to watch the telly when we get back!). my ds (4.5) used to be incredibly slow but with perserverence, we are getting there, even got him up a small hill recently! if I haven't got the time or energy to move him along, I use a bike and trailer - have you thought of that? I think its the missing link between the buggy and them being old enough to walk at a proper speed if you don't want to use or don't have a car. Good luck!

[Oblomov]

Wannabe, I don't know. I only know one mum, and she lives in the other direction.
But I take on board what a good idea it is.

[wannaBe]

Oblomov do any of your ds' future classmates live anywhere near you? I find one way of getting kids to walk is to walk with other children who are happy to do it. So the other kids run on ahead "come on xx lets run and play" and unwilling child runs off with other children unaware that he's running all the way to school and before you know it you're all there.

Also letting him run on ahead is ok as long as he has a good sense of where he's allowed to run to. My ds (now 5) is allowed to run ahead but he is not allowed to go around corners. This has always been our rule and he knows it. so you could have a "race" to the next lamp post/the corner etc.

[GooseyLoosey]

Dd hasn't had a buggy since 2, but hates walking (starts school in Sept at 4 plus 1 week). I have a hard line approach. I walk at a constant slow pace and don't stop (fortunately for me there is no cars on the route) and she can lag as far behind as she likes but I keep going. Eventually (albeit with some wailing) she will run after me to catch up.

[wannaBe]

use the hard-line approach.

"If you keep up that behavior we will not be going to the park/the sweet shop/there will be no television" and follow through. I wouldn't bribe a child to walk, because walking is what they should be doing at that age.

And I don't agree with the line that some children are capable of walking and some aren't. Yes some children might not be able to walk three miles at 2, especially if they have learned to walk late, but at 4 a child should be able to walk for 30 minutes. Of course children who aren't used to walking distance will need to ease into this amount of distance, but it should be able to be done, unless the child has a physical disability which prevents them from walking.

I do think it is better to get them walking when they are younger though. I was unable to use a buggy and carried ds in a sling and then a back carrier. From the moment he was able to walk I let him walk little distances, from the park to the end of the path (so maybe 10 metres) then around the corner and a bit further, increasing the distance very very gradually until, by the time he was about 18 months he could walk all the way to my house from the park which was about a 10 minute walk. Within another couple of months he could go there and back, and I ditched the carrier just after his 2nd birthday. He went in buggy on weekends when dh home but in the week he walked.
i honestly believe that the later we make them do these things, the harder it is. especially as we can ease them into it when they're younger but when they're older they have the reasoning ability to say no and get into the buggy etc.

These parents who have their 4 year olds in buggies aren't doing them any favours IMO (op I know you don't have buggy but some parents certainly do).

[Oblomov]

The other day I did get him to walk fast. I made it into a game. " oh you are so fast, I can't keep up, ha ha."
Trouble is, I really couldn't keep up.
Had to have a lie down when we got home.

[Oblomov]

Please please tell me that it is o.k. to push ds(4.7 in sept), to school, in a buggy. I need you to tell me thats its o.k.
Not every day. But when I need to.

[mrsgboring]

DS is 2.8 We do traffic lights (if he stops I say oo the traffic light is red, then say amber GREEN you can GO!)

A rhyme about dinosaurs where you have to tiptoe past his nose.

Singing and chatting whilst briskly moving him on holding hand.

Landmark spotting - ooo I wonder if the streetlight will have gone wrong today...

I don't know how applicable they are to an older child. All of these only work sometimes and the traffic light one in particular can be excruciating if he decides to have a traffic light at every tree. Arghghghghg

I do find I have to modify my pace and expectations, especially in boring environments like going from shop to shop (3 shop maximum provided one's a charity shop he can rummage through the toys in).

It just takes an incredible amount of perseverance and patience (which I rarely have I have to confess), but IMVHO it's really worthwhile to gradually increase a child's stamina for walking.

[HonoriaGlossop]

Get him on the scooter I'd say

Ds loves scooting to school though at 8 months pg you'll need to make sure he is well trained to stop when you say...you won't want to be chasing after him at every junction......gulp

or a buggy?

[Oblomov]

I worry about this.
Ds is sooooooooooo slow.
He doesn't complian. But I can't get him to speed up.
He starts school in Sept. Only 1.5 miles. I will be nearly 8 months pregnant. Not allowed to drive due to diabetes. So, I thought, we'll walk. Not a problem. Only I don't have 1 and a half hours spare !!!!
he is o.k. on scooter. Doesn't like bike at moment. Dh adjusted the stabilisers to make them more wobbly. Dh refuses to put them back.
What to do ?

[HonoriaGlossop]

maybe you should use a buggy to stop him whingeing?

[FourJays]

Oooh sorry.
Don't know what came over me there.

[FourJays]

Aaaarrrgghhh!
I NO LONGER USE A BUGGY!!!! Stop telling me to ditch it!

My question was how to get him to walk without whinging.

[HonoriaGlossop]

I think you have to judge each child as an individual - some are walking for miles at 2 and some aren't physically capable of that.

My ds did tire on a long walk so we had his buggy around till he was four. It turns out he has hypermobility which is a joint problem so how awful would I feel now if we'd binned the buggy and just said "I'm not having you looking ridiculous, you are two, you can walk" and put up with him crying etc! Sometimes there is a reason for stuff

Obviously if you have strong suspicions they are using it to carry on a power struggle then fine.

but lots of kids need a buggy till 3 or 4 and in the great scheme of things it's not a problem. I've never seen a child delivered to reception in a pushchair so I don't think it's anything to throw up arms about

[lizziemun]

What i do with dd1 (4.6) we got rid of her buggy when she was 3.6 i used because her nursery was 1.5miles from home up a steep hill.

What i do is turn it into a game i 'race' dd1 to the next lamppost to see if she can beat me . I find doing this she will walk for miles and not realise how far she is walking.

it is hard dd1 would and does bounce of the walls at home but wouldn't walk far outside the house.

[AbbeyA]

I agree that you need to get rid of the buggy-you can't argue about something that you haven't got.

[FourJays]

Dottoressa - I feel your pain girlfriend!

[morninggirl]

my ds is 4 now and we binned his buggy not too long after he turned 2. (ok, we put it in the shed, and only recently got rid of it)

we walk loads 5 days a week to get to the train and the bus in town for trips to his nursery. we make it fun and talk sometimes about what we see and sometimes we talk nonsense. (one of our favourites is pretending we are 'walking' underwater!)

good luck with it... i'm learning now just how stubborn 4 year olds can be!!! (i'll be posting soon in this forum for advice too!!)

[Dottoressa]

I agree with making it fun - but sometimes, it's true, they just won't fall for it. On those occasions, I have just had to carry on walking with a screaming child trying to attach herself to my leg.

DS sometimes simply refused to budge, which was also v annoying. I used to take a newspaper with me, and I would start reading it and ignoring him when he went on strike. He soon got bored of that one!!

I'd think a 30-minute walk followed by a 30-minute walk was perfectly reasonable for a child of that age. Though of course it is true that, at 2-3, an ill child couldn't and shouldn't be expected to walk any distance.

[anotherdayyetanothernickame]

Agree re making it fun. It is a lot of effort but worth it. Ds loves long walks now and gets quite excited if we say we're going on one. It CAN be done with imagination and effort even with the most reluctant walker.

Lljkk - sorry I stand by the idea that with the exception of special needs, 4 year olds shouldn't be in buggies. If that means you have to slow down a bit imho so be it. If you walk very very long distances each day then get a scooter.

[onwardandupward]

What iamdingdong said. And go at the child's pace. If it involves examining every crack in the pavement examine every crack. If it involves a rest every 25 yards, rest until child says "let's go on".

I'll bet a lot of the problem is the child being expected to go at the pace of people larger than them.

I understand this isn't practical for the school run. But whenever there isn't, or needn't be, any time pressure, you can just enjoy the company of your snail child

[iamdingdong]

Try to make walking exciting, set aside a whole day just to walk somewhere if necessary at first. Make it a fun activity, talk about what you'll do when you arrive at your destination, leave 'magic squirrel' treats along the way, make up a story as you go, talk about what you'll do when you get back, look out for odd things, animals/birds/trees/cars/shops etc.

[FourJays]

Hurrah! Roll on September!