22 month old not talking & understanding

[Boymama2705]

Hi,
My little one is 22 months & has no words yet. Babbles/chats away in gibberish all the time but no specific words. Or animal noises.
I am also unsure of his understanding, if I told him to go get the ball or get your cup he wouldn't know what I was on about.
He has no sensory issues, no repetitive issues, sleeps well, doesn't struggle with routine changes etc and has great eye contact/answers to his name (most of the time).
However I spoke to his nursery this morning and they advised he doesn't really engage with his peers and prefers to play on his own or be with staff. I've been in tears since I dropped him off. Can anyone offer any advice/ personal experience?
Thanks x

[doppelganger2]

Have you discussed it with the HV?

He needs a hearing test to rule out hearing issues. If it was my child, I would go to GP and request a referral to a development paed and self refer to SALT.

At that age, the lack of speech is not a concern but the lack of understanding is.

[Boymama2705]

Yes I had raised concerns a while ago as he wasn't pointing, clapping or waving (he claps and waves now but hardly points) and she came out to see us a couple of times.
She wasn't concerned as he had good idea contact and answers to his name etc and advised give him more time.
She has sent a referral to get his hearing checked (was just a precaution as he wasn't using words) but yesterday she advised she would expect him to be able to follow simple commands by now.

[doppelganger2]

I have been there. I would bypass the HV. Ours held up the referral by over a year (under the pretext of every child is different and a wait and see approach). I would make a list of concerns and go via GP.

[Boymama2705]

Thanks @doppelganger2
Can I ask what the outcome was for yourself? I hope you don't mind me asking.

[doppelganger2]

no, I can tell you but every child is different. Mine is a teen now and doing great. Talking and chatty. She has a diagnosis of autism and moderate - severe learning difficulties and will need lifelong support but it's not really the end of the world. Happy and healthy kid!

[FromWalesAndBackAgain]

@Boymama2705 have you tried the MCHAT questionnaire? It might help you think about what they should be doing and thinking where they may be delayed to help you discuss any concerns with your GP. Also the ages and stages questionnaire for their age group. I think speech delay in its self isn’t a massive concern, I know many kids who barely said anything until 3 and are now the chattiest children ever, but he should be able to understand simple commands (though may not always carry them out). Interesting that nursery advised he isn’t playing with his peers - I got similar feedback when my son was about 21 months but then everything I read said it’s common for kids, especially boys, to not be as interested in playing with other kids until 2 +. My son is about to turn two and still doesn’t play loads with other kids but interacts more with them and they have told us he has some friends and he mentions their names at home (among a load of babbling/gibberish) - but that has literally been in the last few weeks x

[Boymama2705]

@FromWalesAndBackAgain thank you - yep I done the mchat a couple of weeks ago & I think he scored 3 on it?
Ohhh really? I wasn't aware of that! They said he does engage in group activities sometimes but most of the time he is a solo player? But they also said there are other kids the same so it's not unusual? I'm just concerned because of this & the whole understanding/communication thing.
I'm totally on the fence as he literally has no sensory issues/repetitive behaviours etc but I'm maybe just being naive, as there obviously is an issue somewhere.

[FromWalesAndBackAgain]

@Boymama2705 have nursery mentioned him not understanding basic instructions? I only ask because my son loves to ignore me and be a performing monkey for everyone else 😂 I like to reassure myself that it is good he feels like he doesn’t have to perform for my love haha. But he may be understanding more than you think? Is a score of 3 a moderate risk? When I did the MCHAT between about the ages of 18 months - 21 months he would come out at moderate - but now he scores zero, he just seems to be a late developer.

The other thing, other than the passage of time, that I saw make a huge difference with my son was moving his nursery room. Until Jan he was in the baby room and was one of the oldest and biggest in there. He moved into the tweenie room and being with other kids his age and up to a year older has really spurred on his development - so many of the nursery staff have said how much more he enjoys it there and how much he has come along, he was mute in nursery until going into tweenies and now he is talking there loads (mostly single words, but lots of them) and forming some 2/3 word sentences at home

[Boymama2705]

@FromWalesAndBackAgain when we mentioned his understanding yesterday they said they had noticed it too, they said for example after lunch the other kids will put their plates away whereas our little one can't do that.
My older son had issues with glue ear when he was younger so we feel we should probably get his ears tested to rule that out, however waiting list is a year and a half so probably look at going privately.
I'm not sure if hearing difficulties would affect understanding though? I understand it can affect speech and words...

[doppelganger2]

I'm not sure if hearing difficulties would affect understanding though? I understand it can affect speech and words...

if you cannot hear what people say, then it's hard to follow instructions

[Boymama2705]

@doppelganger2 this is true...
My heads fried 🤦🏽‍♀️

[FromWalesAndBackAgain]

@Boymama2705 oh gosh my son would definitely not put his plate away - more likely to throw it across the room 🙈 even though I can tell him to put his book back in his book case and he will.

Definitely worth getting his hearing checked, though did you say in your original message he is good at responding to his name? Which to me may indicate he can hear - but always good to rule these things out. Have you asked nursery about referrals to SALT, they can usually get the ball moving quite quickly - they were going to refer my son but then he came along and it was no longer needed.

[Boymama2705]

@FromWalesAndBackAgain see he doesn't really do any commands I ask him. I think he understand no, definitely "all done" 😂
Sometimes he will answer to his name straight away, other times he will ignore me. Not sure if it's just selective hearing though. Nursery said he can do that sometimes too. But he definitely knows his name.
To be honest, they didn't say they were going to do a thing. I don't even know if they would have told us what they had noticed had we not asked them yesterday.

[Boymama2705]

@FromWalesAndBackAgain we have noticed too that he is pulls at his ears a lot and pokes his wee finger in them.

[FromWalesAndBackAgain]

@Boymama2705 hmmm I think your son sounds quite similar to my son at that age - though mine did say a lot of singular words at home - and I can’t believe how much he has come along in just the last two months as he reaches 2. Some advice I’ve seen is does your son make continuous, albeit potentially slow, progress. As I think one of the things they look for is the absence of developmental progress or regression.

That is frustrating about your nursery - on the one hand perhaps they don’t feel it’s a big concern to need to mention it, on the other hand you don’t want to miss the chance for early intervention because there isn’t an a-typical presentation (which can happen). I’d perhaps speak to their key worker and ask for a meeting with them - where your son is still being cared for and you can focus on the conversation with them (I’ve often had things raised with me at pick up and I can never fully focus on what anyone is saying!) - and raise your concerns ask what they think and ask about a SALT referral - if it’s a nursery they should have a SENco lead - if they do ask them to spend a bit of time with your son and attend the meeting. Also see if they do any developmental progress checks - my nursery do WellComm - and how he is scoring against that x

[FromWalesAndBackAgain]

@Boymama2705 my nursery we’re going to arrange a hearing test alongside the SALT referral when they did initially have a concern x

[Boymama2705]

@FromWalesAndBackAgain I would say I see a change in him developmentally, the past week we actually thought he said bye a couple of times but we always second guess ourselves now because it's a worry.
I feel the way he plays/gross motor skills all that kind of thing I see him progressing. Just not the communication/understanding.
Then obviously what the nursery said yesterday has got me upset.
Our HV is coming out on Friday now to see us.

Regarding the nursery, they have had lots of staff changes recently and are still deciding his new key worker so it's a bit up in the air. Our HV didn't seem impressed that they hadn't told us anything about him, however on the other hand, the nursery teacher advised yesterday he's not the only child that sometimes prefers to play alone so I was confused! And yesterday at the school run he was smiling at all the kids running past while waiting on his big brother, even trying to reach out to them so I thought he was a social wee thing 🤍x

[1441x]

Hi OP,

My little one is coming up 27 months now. At 22 months he was the same as your little one, very little communication, no gestures etc...
It is something I have been flagging since he was 10 months old, he didn't babble until he was around 15 months, you know your child more than anyone so know if there could be any delays. My advice would be to keep pushing with HV, GP and you can also ask your nursery to phone the HV.
We have been having private salt since last summer which has gave us a range of different tools to use, he probably has around 15 words now (excluding numbers, animal sounds etc) the words are all singular words but definitely a slow progress from before.

Nursery have also said they struggle to engage them in activities, and they tend to prefer to play alone.

[Boymama2705]

@1441x
Thank you for- your little one sounds like he is progressing fab! 🤍
Did he have difficulty understanding commands too?
We are going to discuss with the HV on Friday and see where we go from there, but I definitely think we should get his ears tested to rule that out. I'm just so confused with everything, it's so difficult isn't it?

[doppelganger2]

Have a chat with the HV, get the hearing checked and ask for referrals. Appointments takes ages. If he improves, you can always cancel it.

The thing is, you don't know what is causing his issues. Many kids catch up in their own time and some don't and will need a lot of help moving forward. Nobody here can tell you which category your DS will fall into. After my experience, I would always err on the side of caution esp as the waiting lists are so long. You will have to wait regardless.

[1441x]

Yeap he only understood one thing and that was asking where his comforter was! His speech is progressing slowly but he definitely understands more such as stand up, sit down, shoes on, where's daddy etc!
It's such a slow progress! We requested a hearing test too but they said if he turns his head when someone knocks the door or if you put the tv on in another room and he comes running in then it doesn't warrant a hearing test!

Good luck, I hope you get support!!

[Boymama2705]

Thanks @everyone - we will see what the HV says tomorrow and take it from there 🤍 x

[FromWalesAndBackAgain]

@Boymama2705 hope your appointment with the HV was helpful x

[Boymama2705]

@FromWalesAndBackAgain thanks for messaging 🤍
Friday wasn't a great day - he was feeling a bit under the weather (bit choked up) but didn't engage great with the HV when she came so now she is concerned about him. I was a bit surprised at how bad he was but he literally ignored her most of the time she was here.
We are going to get his ears done and we have a telephone appointment with the SLT in a couple of weeks. The HV said it could just be a hearing thing but she thinks it's more than just speech and language. I've been so upset, the unknown is horrible x

[FromWalesAndBackAgain]

@Boymama2705 it could be just because he was under the weather and he didn’t feel like engaging - but at least they are taking your concerns seriously and he is getting further tests/referrals - if it’s nothing then not of that will hurt him.

From people I’ve spoken to who do have SEN children, it’s the unknown that is the worst part. But just remember regardless of what comes of this he is your beautiful boy and he has got a great mum who is making sure he has the support he needs - nothing will change that ❤️