Which is the easier baby - boy or girl? If you could choose, would you?

[phlossie]

A friend of my mum's had twin girls with her fourth pregnancy - sisters to 3 girls! Apparantly, in the haze of the drugs, hormones etc, she accused the doctor of cutting off her sons' willies!!!

That got me thinking: why do people (eg Victoria Beckham) get so het up about having the other sort to what they've got?

I have on of each (clever, eh??. For some reason I had decided that boys were easier babies than girls, so after a shaky, colicky start, have been really surprised by how delightful my dd (my youngest) is - especially how cuddly she is.

Obviously a lot is down to personality and birth order, but which do you think is easier, boy or girl? If you could choose, would you? And why? Do you think people should be allowed to choose?

[bigdonna]

give me girls anyday.

[Fillyjonk]

lol, at kids being noticable in a slightly exasperated way...ohhhh yes...

(am in NO way biased here btw )

although if dd2 continues to be relatively easy, I may change my tune

[blueshoes]

yeah, filly.

Difficult babies = great toddlers and beyond. Still hard work though (harder than easy toddler), but comparatively easier than as baby. Sociable, lively and PITA, all rolled into one. Never fading into the background, teachers and carers always notice dd and ds in a happy if slightly exasperated way. They give as much as they take, if not more.

[belgo]

I have two girls and I've had a couple of patronising comments about 'you don't know what it's like to have a boy', implying that boys are more work. Ironic really! They really don't know my dd1!

[Fillyjonk]

I do actually think that kids/babies being "easy" is a over-rated

all the "difficult" babies I know have grown up to be lovely, engaged, and very bright toddlers.

[phlossie]

Ok - I think I agree that it's more down to personalities than gender... but what about the tractors vs cars thing? My boy LOVES any kind of vehicle - tractors, diggers, minis, motorbikes being favourites. He loves his toy kitchen and pushchair, but he refuses to put a doll in his pushchair, but will push along his toy mini. Maybe it's something we've done subconciously? Also, dd seems more interested in people and faces than ds ever was - she definitely smiled earlier.

[chocolateteapot]

I don't think people should be allowed to choose. Personally I have found my DS a complete doddle compared to my DD but he is my second child so I had half a clue what I was doing with him.

[Psychomum5]

well.....I have 3 girls and 2 boys, in that order.

IMO, there is a huge difference between boys and girls..........AND......there is a HUGE difference between girls and girls, and boys and boys!!!

mine are all different, and each of them have the ability to drive me nuts, but I would be lying if I didn;t (at times) prefer one sex over the other. For me, I have found girls easier SO FAR....of course, my girls are now entering their teens, and hormones are raising their ugly heads, so they are getting increasingly harder to handle.

girls were certainly easier as babies, altho my boys weren't hard, they were just different. I had had my girls first too, so maybe that was part of the reason.......I was used to the girls, so boys were more of a shock.

boys are far more active, and need far more physical time....and are also very loud, but then the girls are loud too.

girls whinge more!!!!

girls are nasty to each other........boys argue, thump, maybe kick, and then get on with whatever they were playing again (on the whole).......girls fall out, say nasty words, cry, pinch and scratch, and then harp back to whatever the last arguement was.....and the one before that and the one before that!!!......they bear grudges.

I would still tho, opt for another girl than more boys, and that doesn't in any way mean I don;t love my boys....I do.....I would die for them.....but for me, so far, my girls have been an easier ride.

I did declare when I was pregnant with DS2, that I would love another girl again please, as I had wanted the 'boy thing', had found the 'boy thing ' hard, would now like to bury the 'boy thing', and get girlie again..........got a boy, and feel in love again and I now have the two, they each have each other (so needed), and I wouldn;t change it!

I would never ever choose tho.........babies are a gift and you get whatever you are destined for. be it a SN child, NT child, girl, boy........all are wonderful, all a miracle, all a gift, and all much loved.

[tatt]

I think people should be allowed to choose the sex of the third and later children but not the first two unless there are strong medical reasons.

Personality is partly how they are brought up and whether the parents impose gender stereotypes. Children are heavily influenced by their friends as they get older.

Both can be demanding in different ways and at different times. I've found girls (friends as well as my own) easier than boys when small, boys easier than girls when pre-teen/ early teens and boys harder when they discover drink. (Where I live there is still a stronger drink culture for males than females.)

[moljam]

i have girl and 2 boys.all completly different.dd and ds2 are very alike in behaviour but ds2 also does things like ds1.

[bb99]

Hijack - if boys and girls do (may) have slightly different personality traits (in general) are boys being restricted in their development by being labeled as 'naughty' when they want to race around and be really physical? I know ADHD does exist, but are a more than necessary number of boys being identified as having some kind of behaviour disorder (or being seen as naughty) just because they're being boy like. And I'm not having a pop at anyone who has a child with any kind of issues in this area, or the children - I know behaviour disorders aren't a myth and I am in awe of the parents.

Just a thought - sometimes I see boys at the mummy groups coming under fire and being (well and thought out) disciplined just cos they're racing around and doing what IMO is boyish (and it CAN be girlish too - I was a tomboy and climbed trees and ate worms and all...)

Just seems that there are fewer and fewer opportunities for 'boys to be boys' and my ds is much more physical than dd ever was...

What do you think?

hijack over

[blueshoes]

I have a girl 4.7 and then a boy 1.7. They seem to have the same determined, take-no-prisoners and sociable personalities but it comes out differently in terms of their priorities, in a way you might say is stereotypically boy or girl.

Dd is demanding of my attention in an emotional clingy way. Ds is higher energy physically and will not be thwarted in his 'projects'. Both tantrumy and not easy to distract or re-direct.

Sighhhh.

[peanutbear]

I dont hink you should be able to choose but I always had a secret yearning for a daughter I dont nkow why

I had 2 boys then a little girl the boys are great really funny DS2 is a happy little soul always laughing and getting up to mischief he really makes me laugh

Ds1 has ASD so its hard to compare him but he is helpful and kind but easily very silly

DD is calmer much more laid back she likes being around me and watching whats going on and she like helping with anything your doing

she is by far the easiest child atm but this could be because she is the third or because she is more like me !!!!!

[TheHonEnid]

ok well personally I think having one of each doesnt prove anything one way or another

second children are different whether girls or boys

I do think gender differences kick in when a bit older but I htink up until 2 there is very little differnce and certainly not in babies

[Sugarmagnolia]

Oh, also forgot to say, DS was also so good at entertaining himself as a tiny baby he used to wriggle his legs in his car seat to rock himself to sleep! Talk about easy-going 2nd child.

[Sugarmagnolia]

Of course gender differences aren't absolutes but as someone who has one of each I have got to say there is definitely something to it. For me, I think gender differences, combined with birth order and individual personality has given me:

DD, first born - stood and walked late, talked early. Always wanted a lot of attention as a baby, hated to just be left alone. Now loves ballet & ice skating (having tried the football thing!), quite creative, loves to draw and make up stories. She is extremely strong-willed to the point of being stubborn and outgoing and the mother-daughter relationship is a testing one.

DS, second child - I hate to say it but very typical second child and typical boy. He still is and always has been more physically demanding but easier-going emotionally. He crawled at 5 months and walked at 9. Although he did play with dolls as a toddler, from the time he could move he was fascinated by cars, trains, plains etc where his sister never took any notice of such things. He is funny, laid back and MUCH less likely to pick a fight with me and having tried the ice skating thing he has chosen football. The only thing about him that is not ?typically? male is that like his sister he had great language skill from a pretty early age and they both adore books.

And, now of course people shouldn't be able to choose.

[annoyingdevil]

How refreshing to see a thread where people agree that gender differences are overstated! My dd was an early walker, very spatially aware and forever climbimg. DS is a little slower and a bit more accident prone, but still a little daredevil.

[halogen]

I just have one baby, a girl. Before she was born, I didn't care what I had and wanted to ultimately have at least one of each. It turned out to be quite hard to get pregnant so obviously I am delighted that I have a living breathing gorgeous baby at all. I hope to have another and have surprised myself by slightly wishing I would have another girl. I think it's because I love my daughter so much that I can't quite imagine what it would be like with a son. Totally irrational, of course, as whatever kind turns up next, he or she will be entirely different to my current baby!

[scottishmummy]

would never chose because a baby is a precious gift.regardless of gender

[bb99]

I agree that all babies are different and you shouldn't get to choose.

I can understand why people can get hung up on the babies sex - had a late mc with pg 2 and lost a boy, followed up quickly with early mc (pg 3) and was DESPERATE to have a boy (OK, just a breathing and working baby would have been MORE than fine ) with pg4 - and was v.lucky to get my wish!

Am clever too and have one of each , but I do find myself agreeing that my boy is a bit more hard work - he also seemed much more lively when he was on the inside, but that could just be him as I don't have any other boys to compare him with. It could be birth order - he's the youngest (so far, tee hee) or the fact that I was 10+ years older when he finally turned up than when I had dd and I have found that a decade of hard work and partying have taken their toll (LOL)

[sweetkitty]

Have 2 DDs are they are the total oppposite of each other in every way, I think personality has more to do with it than mere gender although never had a boy so can't compare.

[cory]

I had one of each, and they were certainly different, but I think it's personality not gender. Dd was quite highly strung as a toddler, so I might start imagining that's a girl thing, except I know my brother was much more highly strung than me when we were little.

I thought I would find it easier to cope with a boy, as I had 3 brothers, but then dd was born- and I coped. And then ds was born and I coped with that.

[mollymawk]

I have 2 DSs so have no idea about gender differences in children. However, I observe among my adult friends/relatives that on the whole the men have less fraught relationships with their mothers than the women. So I'm hoping for that when the DSs grow up!

[bozza]

Well my DD was easier than my DS for the first6 months, but she has certainly compensated for it in the 3 and a bit years since. But my DS is a fairly easy child (once he got past the newborn colicky, wake-up-as-soon-as-he-touches-the-mattress stage), at the recent parent's evening his teacher described him as "well-balanced" - not like his mother then..... DD is much more highly strung.