advice needed 2.4yr dd becoming obsessed with cleanliness

[northstar]

I would really appreciate some advice on how to deal with dd and her need to clean everything. She is using wipes from the drawer all the time, and had 4 episodes yesterday when she had to take all her clothes off and change because they had a mark or a drop of water on them.
I tried to reason with her but she just gets hysterical.
She spent a full half hour in the car tax office just cleaning the seats and wouldn't sit down on them.
We are quite laid back at home, and have a healthy attitude to "clean" dirt iyswim?
Tia

[northstar]

Can't tell you how glad I am to read this thank you.
Sailed through this stage with ds, and am/was worried about ocd with dd now. I have been trying to play it down for a while but yesterday was sooooo ott.
I will try to stop over-analysing everything for a while.

[flamingtoaster]

When DD was about the same age she went through a phase where if she was playing in the garden and even her finger got dirty she would rush over to me and demand it was cleaned. The phase didn't last too long so hopefully your DD will stop soon.

[SleeplessInTheStaceym11House]

oh and as for the stamemr thing dont worry, dd is 2.10 now and still stammers sometimes although is normally eloquent, its usually if shes v tired or excited, brain works quicker than the mouth!

[SleeplessInTheStaceym11House]

my dd went through this stage, also being obsessed with toys in the 'right' places (not where i put them right but where she wants them right) and shutting the stair gates, i couldnt turn round in the kitchen without the stairgate being shut behind me!!

used to call her OCD but shes calmed down with it all a bit better now. unless her hands are sticky she doesnt mind them being dirty and will wipe crumbs off onto her top!!

[mistypeaks]

Mine went thru a faze of it. Wouldn't play in the sandpit, with playdough, obsessed with wipes and helping me to clean. She still likes to clean stuff and has to wash her hands when they are dirty, but she's at least happy to get them dirty now. Her baby sister on the other hand . . . . She looks like a street urchin most of the time and will not be cleaned!!! (except in the bath - loves it).

[Countingthegreyhairs]

Try not to worry Northstar (easier said than done I know).

My 4 yr old dd went through this when she was 2.5 and has on and off periods even now.

My sister teaches child development and I seem to remember her saying something about all children going through a stage like this to a greater or lesser degree (perhaps someone on here will have more info about this.)

It's associated with "linear play" - if I am remembering correctly (I may not be!) where they line up cars and teddies in regimented rows. All toddlers & infants have OCD to some extent. I think it is also meant to be about gaining a degree of control or predictability in their lives which is reassuring (saying "goodnight" three times or having the same bath ritual for example). Again, there are probably others with more expertise who can comment but I gather that these behaviours are not seen as unusual until the age of about 7 or 8.

I'd have taken my dd to see someone if it had persisted for over a year - but it hasn't - and I found distraction to work well ... most of the time anyway ...

Good luck!

[TheMuppetMuggle]

DD started like that about 2 weeks ago, and crys everytime has an accident bless her.

In Some ways is nice to have a toddler who is obsessed with being clean, as i don't have to worry to much. And she cleans with me in our daily routine. (is prob where she gets it from)

And always clears up after herself, which i am proud of her for doing.

[northstar]

Dd trained herself before she was 2 by announcing "no more nappies they yucky I'll use toilet now" and refused point blank to wear a nappy or pull up. Part of the same problem I think but very helpful at the same time.
If she did have a little accident she got hysterical though.

[TheMuppetMuggle]

And DD is a very tidy and clean eater, never makes a mess compared to other children her age and TBH has been like it from Day 1 of weaning

[TheMuppetMuggle]

NS - must be a girl thing, DD is the same, detests her clothes being dirty,shoes,hands,face. You can always here her go Wet Wipe plz, thats why i brought her her own special Kandoo box (refillable)
And they do come in handy now we are potty training!
Again i think is partly to do with me as like a clean & tidy house, am very funny when it comes to that! I get it from my mum, and she gets it from her mum (Family thing i think)

[northstar]

dd went crazy yesterday because there was a tiny piece of black thread on her sleeve, and literally pulled her top off backwards. 15 minutes later she's there again because a drop of water dribbled onto her collar from a drink of water. Is it a girl thing?

[TheMuppetMuggle]

Although Partly i think my DD gets it from me as i have a very tidy house, and DD knows to clear up after herself!

[TheMuppetMuggle]

My DD is the same, she hates being dirty, the slightest thing she goes crazy, she has Kandoo wipes her own special ones so if she feels the needs to clean her hands face etc she can do so!

We just say she has OCD for cleanliness

[fortyplus]

Yes - will make you feel better to have a chat about it if you're feeling so concerned

[mamazon]

you are clearly really concerned abuot all this so you should talk it over with your HV, even if it is justto put your mind at ease.

i am sure its nothing to worry about buit sometimes its these little things that cause us the most concern.

have a chat with your HV and see if she thinks there is anything to worry about. she may be able to reffer you to a SALT about the stammer, but as Forty says- i dont think its unusual at this age.

[northstar]

I have a ds 5 who is totally laid back and very easy going, dd is so completely different I am thrown. She is making me doubt everything I thought I knew.

[northstar]

Thanks, I do that it's just so quiet here this morning that all my thoughts and worries are buzzing around in my head. I'm going to buy some sylvanian family stuff and let her organise them instead. Maybe that will help?

[fortyplus]

XP - sorry... You need to change the way you're reacting to this. My ds1 is a worrier because I was such a paranoid mother - ds2 is far more laid back

[fortyplus]

Go out to the park?

Just have fun. Pond dipping maybe?

Don't wind her up - if you're out then she can't change her clothes, can she?

Your 'worried' vibes will be bad news for her if you're not careful.

[northstar]

Noooo, she's in play school she won't be thinking about me for another half hour I hope.

[fortyplus]

She's worried about you...

[northstar]

I am actually sitting here crying. Sorry.

[fortyplus]

She's 2.4 and her brain works faster than her mouth - don't worry - stammering isn't unusual at this age, either

[northstar]

Mamazon she has also developed a very bad stammer this week, I am so worried about her

[terramum]

DS (37 months) was like this for ages...then it just gradually stopped & now he will quite happily wipe his hands on his t-shirt, trousers, the sofa...