Day Time Naps for a 2 year Old

[mumsemily]

Hi my DD is 25 months and has started taking an hour to settle on a night, which results in 2 night time wakings.

We experimented on Saturday and kept her awake all day (she usually has 1 1/4 hrs nap from 1.00 til 2.15), she didn't get really tired until 5.00 but after tea the bath revived her and we put her down to sleep at 7.00, she was asleep by 7.10 and didn't wake once during the night and slept until 6.35 the next morning.

We reverted back to and hours nap yesterday and put her down at 7.30 as usual, she didn't go tot sleep until 8.35, then woke at 1.00 and 4.00, so I don't know wether to get to give up her day time nap or is it too early with her just turning 2.

Any ideas would be great.

Thanks

Lisa

[bubblagirl]

i would just say either try to cut her naps out or put her to bed hour later when had a nap make all the routine an hour later thats what i do then they still have the structure of dinner bath bed and they know where they are

[bubblagirl]

well my ds also cries at bedtime but not because he is not tired he doesn't want me to leave the room so i sit on his bed or on the floor i dont talk to him i'm just there within 5-10 mins he'll drop off sometimes sooner i'll leave his tv on so i can concentrate on something and creates back ground noise

i thimk they all go threw this phase but just keep on putting her in and she will calm my son comes into my bed in the night and i need to put a stop to this he just always wants to be with me so i find sitting in silence in his room works good luck though i think they should all come with an instruction booklet lol

still you wouldn't change em it keeps our minds ticking lol

[bozza]

It is better than if she was upset all the time or randomly because you have something to work on. Good luck.

[mumsemily]

That does make sense when you actually sit down and discuss it with other mothers.

Thanks, she's had no nap today so we'll see tonight.

Lisa

[bozza]

Yes if there is definitely a correlation between having a nap and crying at bedtime, you know where to start really. She needs to have either an earlier/shorter nap or a later bedtime I would say.

[mumsemily]

Yes, which makes us think that she isn't tired enough.

[bozza]

No lisa that is perfectly possible for many toddlers. Is she OK going to bed when she has not had a nap? Is it just when she has had a nap that she cries?

[mumsemily]

Hi Bublagirl

Why are children so complicated???? You are right it is trial and error it just feels lately its all error.

Its just got to the point where I hate bedtimes again because as soon as I get to the end of the story she starts crying as if she doesn't want to left by herself. I've tried video's (she just cries at the end), a night light and a music light show (lasts 10 minutes).

When DP isn't in I just turn the sound on the monitor off so I can't hear the crying (I can still see lights though). I just want her to be happy going to bed is that silly for such a young toddler???

Thanks

Lisa

[bubblagirl]

he's 28mths

[bubblagirl]

i had the same problem with my ds but he stopped napping at about 12 mths although will have the occasional nap but if he does i cant get him to bed untill i o and it makes it such a long day trial and error

i put him down later if he does nap but wont let him nap after 1 and for no mopre than 40 mins if he does nap then i do play doh or puzzle to try and wake him fully then we'll play games to use some energy up and i find he'll settle normal time 6-7.30 but only if he naps before 1 so i do lunch slightly early if looking like he'll drop off

if after 1 i try to do soft activities if he is tired i do dinner slightly early and put him to bed slightly early before he becomes overtired but evry child is different so t is just trial and error

although he wont stay in his bed he comes into mine in night but sleeps in longer so cant complain to much lol

[mumsemily]

Hi Bozza

We used to put her in her cot for her nap and she would sleep fine, but now after dropping it some days she refuses to go back into her cot and is not one for jst lying down and napping, if we think she is tired on a weekend we go out in the car and 9 times out of 10 she will have a sleep.

I think the best thing to do is give her a later betime if she's had a nap.

It's just so frustrating not knowing what to do, why don't they come with a manual.

Thanks

Lisa

[bozza]

Have you tried just giving her half an hour's nap? Or moving it earlier - say midday rather than 1? Also maybe have bedtime later when she has napped. And try and have a really active afternoon if she has napped. It sounds to me like she is on the verge of not needing a nap but not quite there yet.

DD has been like this for months, and I have managed to get us to a reasonable stage with it. She goes to nursery Tues-Thurs and does not nap there, so I know that by Friday (given we also go swimming Friday am) that she will be ready for a nap. But a late night on a Friday (I also have a school age DS) is not so bad. But I try and get her down really early for her nap and be careful not to let her sleep too late.

[mumsemily]

Thank you, you have been a big help. I think we will just have to take each day at a time and if he starts I'll open a bottle of wine and sit in the dining romm (haha)

I will say this about DP, he says he would do anything for her as long as she would sleep, I think its us that are making the big deal out of it and not her. I think I might get him some valium or better still take it myself and then I'll not minding is stressing

Thanks

Lisa

[Acinonyx]

PS Is you DP very unhappy if dd goes to bed later? Maybe he wants to protect your evenings and that is part of the battle.

[Acinonyx]

Hmmmm. It sounds like you are doing everything possible and if she settles herself during the night then I'm not sure that you really have a problem here - except your DP thinks there is one. If her naps and tiredness vary day to day and bedtime can vary a little too I think that's as much as you can do at this stage. My dd will never voluntarily nap but if she wanted to I wouldn't want to stop her either although I might cut it a bit short to get her down at bedtime.

Your DP does sound a bit OCD about this - I suspect his attitude is the major stress on you here and perhaps he needs to be a bit more flexible in his expectations. Personally, I wouldn't battle and force dd to go to bed if she's not ready if it was just a case of waiting another 30-60 minutes and having a peaceful bedtime.

In our house - it's mealtimes that can get stressful and dh and I are not always on the same page! Gill

[mumsemily]

Hi Gill

DP is one of those daddies who just hasn't adapted to having a child!!! He stresses that doesn't sleep enough, if she doesn't eat enough etc etc.

We've been having sleep problems since she was 9 months and now she's 26 months, we've tried all sorts of routines. She used to go down no bother until mid July (which coincided with us moving at the end of June), then she started taking longer and longer to settle so we decided to drop her nap and see if that helped. It did for a few days then she seemed to get overtired so we let her have a nap. As mentioned before on the days without a nap she goes off no bother in about 10 minutes after her music has stopped, on the days she has a nap and its no more than an hour she can take up to 45 minutes to go off. We don't know what to do for the best as we don't want to stop her falling asleep for a nap if she's tired. I've tried letting her watch a video for 15 minutes before sleep, that doesn't work.

We use the same routine every night, bath, milk, story downstairs with dad, then I take her up and read another story before leaving her with her music show on.

She's also started waking in the night again, not as bad this time she does settle herself after approx 10 mins but still its disturbed sleep. Last night she didn't go off until 8 and then was awake at 5.35am so she will be absolutley shattered today.

Sorry this is all a bit ong winded but it helps getting it off my chest ready for another battle tonight with both DP and DD.

Thanks

lisa

[Acinonyx]

Bedtime is the one routine we have really worked on and stuck with. My sister used to spend all night putting her boys down and I so didn't want to do that. Dh baths her and gets her in her pjs for 7.30, then I read with her to 8 pm. At 8 pm, her night music goes on, lights off and I go downstairs. It seems to vary quite a bit after that - although I don't usually peek until at least 8.30 as I don't want to disturb the process. If she's really tired it's less than 5 mins, but I think sometimes it's quite a bit longer. I think the music (I rotate it every week or two) helps her to settle and not get impatient. She never cries when I leave her, but I did do some controlled crying when she was about 9 mo and I was totally desperate! It's rare that she cries in the night and I always resettle her. She's in a toddler bed now so I really have to be pretty sure she's going to settle before I leave.

I think a bit later bedtime when your dd's had a nap is worth a try. What would drive me bananas is the night waking - that was what I did controlled crying for when she was younger (she used to be up at 5 am as well shudder - I was past exhausted). Must say I would dread trying that with a toddler but I would if it came to that.

What is it your dp is worried about exactly?

PS I'm supposed to be working from home right now which of course and of course would much rather 'talk' about toddlers.... Gill

[lizziemun]

Sorry should have read if she wakes up early (6 - 6.30am) into our room i put her back into her room with her night light on and some books.

[lizziemun]

My dd is now 3 1/2 yrs and has only just dropping her day time nap.

She has always gone to bed by 7pm. We are now moving to 7.30pm as daddy is later getting home.

I realy think it is down to the child, if dd didn't have at least two hours during the day (always between 12 and 3pm) she would wake up every hour or so during the night.

Now she sleeps between 7.30pm and 7.30 - 8am. If she wakes and comes into our room i put her back into her room with her night light on and some books.

[mumsemily]

Hi Gill

Can I just ask if your DD sleeps from 8 is that the time you leave her?

How long does she normally take to go off?

Thanks

Lisa

[mumsemily]

Hi Gill

Thanks for your reply, we thought 7 was fine if she had no nap as we didn't want to stretch her too much. The thing with Emily is no matter what time she goes to bed she still wakes at 6, if we are lucky 6.30am

Maybe it would make sense to put her up at 8 when she has a nap and maybe push her to 7.30 when she's not had one (if that makes sense). I live with a right worry wart who is sceptical about anything to do with her sleep (ahhh).

I'm just so tired and frustrated and any advice is gratefully accepted.

Thanks Gill
Lisa

[Acinonyx]

PS - 7 pm seems very early for a 2 yr old. Dd sleeps 8 - 6.30/7. Maybe you need a later standard bedtime.

[Acinonyx]

My dd is 26 mo and never takes a nap during the day unless we're in the car. Many days I time outings so she does get a nap in the car and sometimes carry her in to continue sleeping at home. Some days she takes no nap. I'm finding at the moment that after 2 days running with no nap she really needs to nap on the third day (but still won't unless in the car so I plan for it).

If she naps for more than 2 hours her bedtime tends to drift from the standard 8 pm to 8.30, and if it was a long late nap, even 9 pm. If I can see that she's really full of beans I don't aim for the earlier time - it's just torture for both of us! Otherwise it's 8 pm sharp. I don't think there's much you can do about the variation except plan for it. Sometimes we take advantage of a late bedtime day by going out to a pub for an early dinner with her or for a picnic (cheaper!). OTOH, if we really need her down by 8 I don't let her nap or not for long (30-40 mins).

I thought she was ready to stop napping but I see see does need to nap - just not every day and not always very long. Good luck! Gill

[mumsemily]

Hi girls, back again with this one. We let Emily drop her nap and only have one if she wanted one, the only thing is now, on teh days she has no nap she's in bed at 7 and asleep by 7.10 which is good, on the days she has a nap like yesterday, i put her up later at 7.30 and she didn't go to sleep until 8.00 after much crying.

I really don't know what to do for the best, any one had any similar sleep problems like this.

It's started to make me and DP bicker at each other again and I'm sick of sitting in the dining room to get away from the constant atmosphere at bedtimes.

Help desparate mother.

[MotherFunk]

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