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Behaviour/development

Defiant toddler

2 replies

marshminkmellow · 08/01/2018 10:50

Hello mums. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.
I have 2 sons, one is 2 and the other 1, 11 months apart, and for the most they play well nicely together and have good manners. However my youngest ( 21 months) is very very defiant. To the point he can be very naughty and disruptive to the entire house. Bed times normally go without a hitch with my eldest. He loves going to bed, gets himself in bed and cuddles in the duvet, while the other screams at the top of his lungs, thrashing and banging his head in frustration, as if he's being tortured. This is his attitude for most of the day as well. He is incredibly fast, so I struggle to keep control of him outside the house. Even with reigns he throws himself on the floor. The safest place for him is in a buggy, which apparently is torture too. Tantrums ensue, while my eldest walks calmly holding onto the buggy.
Sigh, i know I shouldn't compare the two, they both have their good and bad. But at least my eldest you can reason with. What do I do with my littlest? He always completely and deliberately ignores my requests, favouring running in the opposite direction and then screaming and bucking when caught (he almost broke my nose bucking). He still throws food on the floor, while looking at me. he throws toys, climbs up and on everything dangerous, every door and window has to be locked at all times, as he has no fear and has escaped the house on a few occasions. I live in constant fear he's going to really hurt himself one day. No type of disciplines has any effect, the "no thank you" "that makes mummy very sad" " use kind hands" pfft, I get more emotion out of my cat. No threats or bribes work... It seems so engrained in his personality I fear he won't grow out of it. He's only 1 and he's uncontrollable. What will he be like in 10 years?! :'(
Anyone have a little one like this? How do you help calm his attitude?

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marshminkmellow · 09/01/2018 16:20

Hi darling. Thanks for your reply. My youngest is 2 in March. He's always been very stubborn. Always thrown food, tantrums, colic and reflux, throws toys, screams at the top of his lungs to get attention. Even today he pulled down a hanging decoration off the wall, looking at me while doing it, despite being told not to touch three or four times! Maybe it's normal, just never went through it with my oldest. :p

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InDubiousBattle · 09/01/2018 16:00

Is he just turned 1 or almost 2?

With the buggy tbh I would just put him in, tolerate the tantrum and get on with your day (that's what I did with dd and she grew out of it). His age makes a big difference, a 12 month old is probably too young for any real discipline (more distraction and removal)and his behaviour I would say is unusual. As an almost 2 year old his behaviour would be much more par for the course!

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