Please help me with my 3 yr old.

[swift1]

I have one dd who was 3 last week and am 22 weeks pg and I just feel like I cannot cope with her.
She is the most wonderful thing in my life, I adore her. But these last 10 days have been dreadful and I just dont know how I can cope with her anymore, I am at my wits end.

I work afternoons and take her with me, and we have had the week off this week. And every day we have had tantrums to the point where I am the one crying everyday. It all starts because she just point blank refuses to do something.

Now alot of things I will let go (like her wanting to wear shorts - shes inside the house so shes warm - its not the end of the world), but things like brushing your teeth have to be done, and I will not let her not have it done .I ask her a good few times nicely and she will still refuse so I have to hold her on my lap and do it while she is screaming. This then upsets me too and I cry also! THis doeasnt happen everyday.

Dh is staring to lose his patience with her. The other night she threw a cushion off the sofa and stamped all over it and refused to pick it up. He put her in the hall, but she wont stay in there, so he has to hold the handle. Then when her time's up and he tries to talk to her to bring her back in, she will go and sit in the corner of the hall and say 'Im not talking to you' She nows plays a game where she shuts all her toys out of her bedroom because theyve been naughty .

Tonight she had a tantrum getting in the car and whacked me in the face. Then she had a tantrum getting out of the car, and so I took her blankie away and told her she couldnt have it until she was good. THis reulted inher coming in and whacking dh. He then smacked her bum, which we never do. Its just all getting out of conrol.I dont feel like I can discipline her. I KNow she shouldnt hit, but when I put her in the hall or her room she just doesnt stay there.Its like its just a game to her.

PLease help me. Im sitting here in tears because I feel like my family is falling apart. What do I do????

[swift1]

THank you so much, everybody. Your posts have really really helped me.

Franney, your reasoning for not using the sticker chart is exactly why I havent so far, I want her to be good cos she wants to be , not cos she gets a reward. And I just think when I start, Ill never be able to stop it.

Afetr calming down on Friday night, dh and I had a chat about what was acceptable, and how to deal with it. We decided that the most important thing was not to get into a battle with dd, as its a real power struggle. So with situations such as chucking cushions, instead of demanding she pick them up we would just pick them up and say something like, 'ooh lets pick these up before we trip on them, shall we go and ....'

We also decided the only time we would put her in the hall is for violent behaviour.

Well so far weve had a really really good w/e. Weve had the dsc here, so that helped when getting up un the morningg, 'can you brush your teeth just like dsd' etc.

Actually there have been no power struggles, shes been cooperative and we have looked at the good in everything she has done. She hasnt hit anyone once, shes had to be told about taking dsd stuff of her , but god give me that any day!!

I guess the real test will be tmrw, when its just me and her at home , back to her old groundhog day routine. Im going to really really try my best.

A really massive rthnks to everyone who posted - I felt really awful friday night, and thanks to your ideas its been a good w/e. Sometimes its just nice to know youre not the only one,iyswim . xx