7 month old screams when I leave the room

[evilharpy]

I know some degree of separation anxiety is normal but my 7 month old has been like this since she was about 8 weeks. The instant I leave the room, and I mean within about four seconds, she screams bloody murder, proper tears etc, and takes quite a lot of consoling when I return. Going for a quick wee ends in a major screaming session, hanging out the washing is impossible. I can't just pop up the stairs for something I've forgotten, I have to carry a 19lb baby everywhere. It's exhausting. Endless games of peekaboo haven't helped at all. I do keep trying to leave her for short periods and get her used to me going and coming back but it never gets beyond the immediate screaming.

She is ok as long as someone is with her, it doesn't have to be me, but can't be left on her own at all, ever, not even for a second.

She is a very very difficult baby in many other ways too - she is very high needs although her sleep isn't actually that bad.

Please tell me this gets better sooner rather than later as it really is very difficult.

[Superworm]

DS has CMPA & allergic to soy and was like this at times. Mostly related to tummy ache I think and would only be ok if I was there for reassurance. To a degree it's normal behaviour the separation thing but the grumpiness not so much.

I realised when he was two that he is also allergic to eggs, which contributed but I didn't know it at the time.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I agree, what you are describing sounds just like reflux.

[Crazyqueenofthecatladies]

Masking you are describing pretty much all the symptoms of reflux and/or cmpi going. This is pain not personality. And it is completely fixable.

[maskingtherealme]

My 4 month old DD is like this. I sit her with her gran or dad and she looks up at me with a 'don't leave me' expression and cries. I can enter a room unbeknownst to her but if I open my mouth, she turns and cries.
She is only a 12lber but bloody hell, it takes it toll on the arms!

She has just started posseting loads, hiccuping more and gagging like acid in the back of her throat. She won't go in her bouncer anymore, used to loveher playmat and now won't tolerate it, won't go in the swing (it needs batteries) and seems grumpy in her jumperoo now! She is only happy when being carried. Sitting causes her 'pain' and she gets grumpy. My God, she screams for England and is a bloody diva with the tears!!

Her sleep is God-damn awful! 7-9 cat-naps a day of 15-30 minutes in length and only sleeps for 8 hours between 7pm and 7am. I can't move her from a place she has fallen asleep in without waking her and she will nap in a pram but only when moving.

DS was a super easy baby but DD is my nightmare child! As a firstborn she would have been an 'only child'.

You-re not alone. I think in some babies it is 'normal'. It is 'them' and we can't bloody change them! I have tried and tried to establish daytime nap routines and I can't. Children's Centre have offered support but I have postponed until about 9/10 months when weaning well established.

[Booboostoo]

My DD is exactly like Strawberry's. As a baby very high needs. She needed me and only me, it was exhausting. As a young child she can be nervous, sensitive and anxious but on the other hand she is very caring, follows rules and is very easy to be with. She never hit/bit/spat, she never runs away and you only have to tell her once something is unsafe for her to never do it again.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

I think when people talk about showering with the baby in a bouncy chair they don't close the doors or us a shower curtain, I certainly didn't. Had to have eye contact with ds all the time.

[Strawberrybubblegum]

Most babies aren't quite as bad, but it's not all that unusual. Google 'the sensitive child', you might find it rings some bells.

I remember how tough it is - DD was the same. Actually, I think I've blocked most of it out, but I remember not being able to make a cup of tea or microwave lunch. People used to talk about leaving their baby in a bouncy chair to have a shower, which was simply unfathomable to me. DD did get better, but it took a long time I'm afraid. I think she was about 2 when it became possible to have a closed shower door between us for my 3 minute shower without her descending into hysterics. (Until then, I showered when DH could look after her)

She is now 2.5, and that character trait is actually still there, but it manifests differently and is easier to handle. Some aspects of it are still negative: despite being physically confident she is cautious in new situations, eg swimming has taken a LOT of time and patience; she still 'checks-in' more than other children when playing; she gives strangers really dirty looks if they dare to talk to her; and she still won't really go to my friends who she has known all her life.

But some sides to it are very positive: she's very perceptive about the world around her; kind and empathic to me and to other children (eg tries to 'fix' it when she sees an upset child, or when I've hurt myself); she hasn't had the aggressive/hitting stage most toddlers seem to go through; she stays close to me when asked and is careful of roads, which means I can give her a lot more freedom when we are out and about than if she was a bolter; and she is quite simply a lovely, very happy, child.

Parenting a sensitive child is challenging, but it's wonderful too. Just hold on, it really will get easier.

[ToonLass]

No advice but I also have a very grumpy baby (who doesn't sleep) so I understand how you feel!!

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Same applies,take baby with you and sit her in high chair or bouncy chair so you can chat to her while you're doing it.

[evilharpy]

Ok fair enough re the washing, it was just the first thing I thought of. Replace it with something taking a couple of minutes, say makin a cuppa or sterilising bottles.

[evilharpy]

Yes. Sometimes I almost think that makes it worse.

No room for a pushchair in the house or for her to follow me around in a walker.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

m.simplypsychology.org/attachment.html#collapseOne

The stages of attachment focuses on ages if you scroll down.

Wrt hanging out washing, that's a long time to leave a young baby so completely normal to cry. I used to take the pram out so ds could watch me or sit him in his chair.

[DameDiazepamTheDramaQueen]

Do you keep taking to her as you leave the room and once you left?

[purplemurple1]

Sounds hard tbh in your place I'd have her in the pushchair and take her around the house with me.

[evilharpy]

Purplemurple we have tried that to a point but she becomes inconsoleable very quickly. She doesn't cry after two minutes, she cries after two seconds- literally - and it quickly escalates into a full on meltdown.

[evilharpy]

Thanks but I very much doubt it is pain related. She has been on amino acid formula since 8 weeks old and has never had a trace of any dairy or soya since then. All reflux symptoms other than irritability stopped immediately Her milk was changed. However due to the irritability she was kept on ranitidine, then tried on omeprazole, then lansoprazole. None of it made The slightest difference to her mood. She is now off all meds. She has seen paediatricians and a dietician. Weaning is fine and she has never reacted to anything else other than dairy. Weight gain is absolutely fine. She sleeps ok. She is just grumpy. Some babies are. It's particularly bad now as she's trying to crawl and getting very frustrated.

[Crazyqueenofthecatladies]

Sounds like she's still in pain, please don't dismiss it as being grumpy. It could be due to the long term damage still not yet having healed, or it could well be that the meds aren't cutting it. Please tell me she's on more than just gaviscon. Even ranitadine only helps for mild/moderate cases. Ideally you want omeprazole at a sliding scale dose of 3-5mg per kg of body weight, if it's not being increased to keep pace with weight gain it will stop working. How is weaning onto solids going? Solids often make reflux worse again and you may well find there are other foods lo now reacts to after her gut has been damaged by cows milk. You need to keep a strict food diary, only introduce one food at a time, ideally one every three days and obviously avoid all dairy and soya, even traces.

[purplemurple1]

Maybe she is too young for this but have you tried leaving her just a little longer so if she cry's after 2 min wait until 5 to go back and see if she stops when she has realised things are diff but still ok. Just thinking my girl went through a phase of crying when put down but after a few min was always ok.

[evilharpy]

TV and radio make no difference, nor does continuing to talk when Out of her sight.

[RedToothBrush]

Sounds normal.

DS is just beginning to get a bit better.

He's 10 months

[purplemurple1]

Sorry about typos wine and too little sleep

[purplemurple1]

Ok i don't think its reflux then at least with my first it was lay flat that was the issue rather than being left.
You could try leaving the tv or radio on maybe the 'company' would help - at least you could get a couple of min here and there. I also carryon talking after I've left the room so they still here me, maybe that would help too.
Hope it gets better for you.

[evilharpy]

She is fine being laid flat and fine with me on the other side of the room. She doesn't need to be held constantly, it is just if I go through the door. If I sneak out she will start howling as soon as she realises which is usually not long as she isn't great at playing independently for long.

[purplemurple1]

This isn't normal for all babies my dc2 (5months) couldn't give a shit where I am and never has cared unless her nappy is dirty or she wants food.
Except for a few weeks around 5 months dc1 was the same.

[evilharpy]

Really, normal? Even from such an early age? None of the other babies I know of the same age (which is quite a lot) are so extreme. Most of my friends can at least manage to pop to the loo quickly before a full on meltdown happens.

She is CMPA but on prescription formula which seemed to also sort out the reflux problems, although she is still the grumpiest baby I have ever known. Reflux meds didn't make her any less irritable.