Will keep it as brief as possible for now as I could probably witter on!
DS 2.3 has been under speech therapy for 2 months, mainly group therapy, simple strategies at home. Generally given the impression it was nothing to worry about and delays run in the family.
Things are changing a little and it's just got me a bit confused. Went for a hearing test but he couldn't settle, he doesn't settle immediately in new places and they wanted him on one spot, low lighting etc, when the sounds started he couldn't take it. Stopped then and there and doc said not to worry, they'll book us in for a longer test slot to give him time to settle.
Got letter today for new appointment but he has also been referred to the multi agency team to review his communication and development. CM has just done 2yo review and physical development is strong but everything else he is down as 8-20mo, with one or two 16-22mo (following EYFS). We went through it together and I agree with the evaluation against the benchmarks. Also recently had 27mo review with HV and he is being referred to a team to get help with his concentration skills.
Concerns seem to be over lack of speech (not just speaking but also understanding), he understands a few words like 'no' and 'shush' and his name but associates pretty much everything by sight (eg gives us his cup when thirsty but doesn't understand the word 'cup'). He also has a short attention span often and flits regularly between different activities (1 min here, 1 min there), but does sometimes settle in for 10-20 mins on an activity.
He's otherwise gorgeous and funny and sweet 
no problems with sleeping or eating and behaviour is generally good, occasionally throws something if he is upset but calms down very quickly and follows our instructions to behave (eg quiet, away, get down). He is independent and whilst he likes playing with others he doesn't tend to engage in structured activities (eg group play at CM's), instead he watches and evaluates whether he likes it and then will do it later alone if he does. CM says he is wary of new people, which is true.
We've generally felt that he is just a bit strong willed and independent - always has been! - but that otherwise he is just a toddler and has his own quirks. But more and more HCPs, childcare professionals and sometimes just random strangers seem to be leaning towards him having behavioural issues.
Have you had anything similar? Maybe it is just toddlerhood coupled with speech delay? Or even hearing? Getting a bit tired of people expecting my 2yo to be different.
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Behaviour/development
2yo, speech delay, hearing test, various referrals... just want some experiences please
jauntynomates · 19/03/2015 19:10
I'm updating as I know I've read threads and then wondered what the conclusion was!
DS1 has a provisional diagnosis of autism. I understand his behaviour a lot more now and what is linked to his diagnosis. He is still coming along wonderfully and it's lovely to see him develop, but I guess I am a bit more honest with myself now about some of his issues (eg noise sensitivity, need for alone time, extra support required).
I am over in SN Chat and live there now 
Under a different name I think, I lose track...
Thanks again to everyone who gave feedback here, it all helped throughout this process - which isn't yet concluded, we have more assessments, observations etc - and helped me to see beyond the speech and language delay and really think about that aspect of it,
Well just thought I'd give an update in case it is of use to anyone.
DS1's hearing has improved a lot, he still has glue ear but has normal responses to the hearing test. They want to do another test in the autumn - I don't remember what it's called, but something along the lines of sticking monitor things on his ears or thereabouts to check function in different ways, apparently they give melatonin if the child can't settle so that they can do the test. But to do that they need the glue ear to clear, so they're waiting and seeing, if it persists they will consider grommets.
With this his understanding has come on massively, which is wonderful, we can say some things to him without visual props - like 'bed', 'nappy', 'food' - and he understands. He has calmed a lot as well. We went to a café today and tested the waters a bit, he sat on a normal chair at the table and we gave him some toast and juice and he just sat there happily whilst we ate, he had some food, stared out of the window, and occasionally played with his dinosaur. Quietly! It was amazing.
He still doesn't speak yet but occasionally he copies/says words; in the bath the other day we were making bubbles in the water and he said 'bubble' a few times at the appropriate time, which rather knocked me sideways with surprise
We are waiting for his assessment with the multi agency team, should be 5 sessions of observation, for SCD, ASD etc. I'm chasing them up on it as I will be starting a new job in a few months and the opportunity to take him to these appointments will diminish at that point for a little while. He starts a new round of speech therapy in the new school year too but that's also borderline due to my new job, if I can DH there then whilst it would be better to keep my consistency it would be better than nothing, so we'll see. But the main thing is he is coming along great, and we're happy
Pomegranate It's very interesting to hear your experience. If you don't mind me asking, what would the classic symptoms be that your DS had/has? I have been on the NHS site and Googling but it all comes across as it bit vague or confusing - maybe because there can be all of these crossovers with different behaviours, diagnoses and speech delay and so on, but I'm trying to compare DS a bit with some of the different typical signs of things.
We had the developmental paed. appointment today and also the hearing test. Paed. happened to be the same one present at his first attempt at the hearing test (who subsequently referred him for higher level hearing and multi-agency), and also did the 6 week check for DS2, so it was actually nice to have that link as he already has personal experience of DS1 and DS2 (and me hanging about!). He has referred DS to the Complex Communication clinic and will be checking in with his SLT so that all of the areas can be joined up. Following the assessment in the appointment he said DS is clearly very able physically, fine and gross motor skills etc, but also clearly has a very limited attention span and understanding, along with expression. Also said he could tell DS was very good humoured, friendly and affectionate which was lovely Sounds silly but with some frontline HCPs I've just got, "He isn't potty trained? He doesn't speak? He doesn't pay much attention, does he..." which has frustrated me a bit, so it was nice to see his personality being appreciated too.
The hearing test went so much better than the first attempt. They tested 0.5Hz, 1, 2, 3, 4, or something like that. Anyway at the lowest Hz he was fine, the next level okay, the next they couldn't get a score, and the next poor. Doctor confirmed glue ear so he has another test in 2 months to see how he scores and check his ears again; if he still has glue ear they'll start talking grommets, but she said that although it may be a factor his speech and language delay is too significant to be solely as a result of his hearing.
Paed. also said how great it was that we'd got in early, as if it's easy to resolve then good, if it's more complicated then we're in there at a good time to help him before starting school. I have to say it's because of MN that I sought out the SLTs originally (around 20-22mo, I had a thread under a different name back then), now at nearly 28mo he seems to really be in the right place and in need of that support so I feel confident that we are going to be fine and be able to help him a lot.
I don't normally write such long posts but on this topic it feels difficult not to!
I hadn't heard of PECs but that's a really good idea, thank you, just ordered some! The SLT said she had some flash cards for songs when she observed him at the CM's and he loved them, and thinking back he was the same when we did a music activity that also had flash cards to say the name of each song, so I think he could take to them well.
Yes the Hanen book is a little pricey, I haven't found it second-hand but the library is an idea, otherwise I may pick one up soon (nearly payday!).
Hasn't considered the SN boards but will head over there. So many boards on here, been on MN for years and still get lost/find new bits 
DS has limited understanding, so if I were to say, "Get your shoes please" he'd probably stare at me, smile, and continue with whatever he's doing. Not in a I'm-not-doing-that way, he genuinely doesn't seem to get it. He understands things like 'Shhh', 'No', 'Away', 'Come here', 'Hot/dangerous'... all somewhat negative things 
He understands when we say 'goodbye' or 'cuddle' but I think it's the actions he understands (waving, open arms) more than the words themselves. Even the other things I mentioned have an associated action or facial expression. Everything hinges on there being something for him to see, like an item or an action, he understands that. The same for nappy changes, going out, etc, he doesn't understand if you say it, but if you show him the nappy or his coat for instance then he understands what it means.
He does want to be with us, show us things, he will take me by the hand to his room, pull out one of his large cushions, sit me down on it (he pushes me backwards!), then he will start getting out the toys that he wants us to play with together. If he wants me to do something he shows me as best he can, and then gives it to me to do. He likes looking through books and will give us hugs and kisses and likes to be lifted up. All actions again - for hugs he puts his arms out, kisses he purses his lips and puts his face very close, lifts he puts his arms up.
The pointing is tricky. He used to point at things he wanted us to do, like at the harness buckle to get out of the highchair or buggy, but he has only recently started pointing at what he wants (eg box of cereal) or that interests him (eg out and about). He has been sharing things with us for ages, as well as trying to feed us, and he tries to share his beaker with his baby brother which is unbelievably cute. If he picks things up from the floor he usually sticks them in his mouth
I'm going to look up the Hanen book and get some more tips from there hopefully, thanks for the recommendations.
Yes jaunty, DS2 is doing really well now - bright and very sociable. The adhd diagnosis has been really helpful. He's just started taking medication for it and I can really see an improvement in his concentration and focus.
Not sure why it took us until he was 12 to realise adhd could be in the mix - I think we just kept putting his behaviour down to immaturity, and the fact that he had had such a rocky start to life. I feel a bit about our lack of awareness now!
Also just wanted to say thanks to you all for sharing your experiences, it is good to know that with similar sounding traits there have been a variety of reasons but all seemingly with positive outcomes I don't know anyone who has gone through these channels or worked in this area so it is very helpful to be able to hear from people that have.
Thank you Pomegranate, that's interesting to know, a lot of our tasks with SLT are around maintaining his focus. They said in basic terms it goes attention > understanding > expression (there were actually 4 but can't remember the 4th! ). So I guess it wouldn't be surprising if there is a link between ADHD and speech delay, certainly in DS' case they feel that when he starts to focus he picks up a lot more so all of our strategies are geared toward maintaining focus, eg 5mins at a time.
Spoke with the centre that manages additional needs and disability in children here, that is where all of his appointments are, and we will be seeing the development paediatrician first and then going for a hearing test. Hoping DS will manage with the long appointments and new people but looking forward to getting some feedback from them.
Thanks again, that's the thing Dimple, my instinct is delay as opposed to anything longer term, although I won't be stubborn and say it is if I'm wrong! I didn't know about the MCHAT so I've just done it online, thanks, it gave a result of 'Risk for Autism', the questions it followed up on after my initial answers were all ones relating to communicating with DS (eg if he understands words without gestures or showing him something).
I've just discovered that our appointment this week isn't just for hearing but is also with the developmental paediatrician, I think that must be part of the multi-agency referral, the letter says it could last up to 3 hours so it's really good to know that we'll have a good opportunity to find out more. Our CM also feels like with greater communication ability he will catch up on other things, having had him a few months and observing and assessing him, so with his new speech therapy plan in place this should help to continue the improvement. We'll see how things go
He has also started to more consistently wave goodbye and say 'hi' (yay!).
This reply has been deleted
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
Just updating in case it may also be of use to others, input still welcome of course
Had follow up with SLT today. DS has a couple of words which he is starting to use more regularly so that's some improvement, generally context reactions/expressions - eg 'oops', 'oh no'. He is also starting to display greater frustration when he can't do something or communicate effectively. Our CM is great and had the SLT at her setting to observe DS and give tips on what she can do, SLT has given us some extra tips too based on her observation and is giving a plan to the CM. DS is being transferred to one-on-one therapy as previously he was in group speech therapy and made a little bit of progress but isn't where they would want him to be so that will start in a few weeks.
We are going to try his hearing test again next week and waiting on the multi-agency follow up within the next few weeks. Feels very much like all professionals involved are on the borderline, that it could just be speech delay, or there could be something more to it, all very nice and friendly and supportive so that we don't worry, but I'm not concerned for him, I just want to make sure we support him effectively especially to try and overcome frustration (as that has now led screeching rather loudly ).
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DD loves books luckily and will happily sit at home for 20-30 minutes or so, reading together. She'll also just go and grab a book at nursery, sit by herself and mutter away while turning the pages as if she's reading to herself . She sounds the same as your DS when out and about jaunty. At library rhyme time she'd rather be pottering around exploring, but isn't badly behaved. She just always seems to be totally focused on what she's interested in at the time, and doesn't really care what's going on around her. Same when out with other friends with kids. She doesn't give a hoot what they're up to most of the time, and just heads off on her own to what interests her.
It's funny isn't it that traits like independence, which would be admired in a adult seems to be something that HV's worry about with toddlers!
Thank you DeeWe, you're right about the type of activity attracting certain types of children, I hadn't thought of it like that. We don't take DS to the library story time because he just doesn't do sitting and listening, but the CM takes her group every week (she has a set timetable of activities for every day), and she has noticed that he is just not keen on it. However he will wander around the children's section, look at books, and do his own thing without running or being destructive. Occasionally he tries to climb so she has to bring him down! But he's otherwise fine, just doesn't want to sit with the others quietly and listen to the story.
On the other hand, he can do sitting quietly in the pram with a book in certain contexts. Weddings and similar, yes. Out and about, nope, he needs to be out too! So for us we think he's very good because he will be calm and quiet in appropriate situations the vast majority of the time, but when he's in new and interesting places or surrounded by other children then he wants to play and explore. That seems reasonable to me but the local HVs and HCPs have this idea that he is in the minority. I don't tend to pay much mind to them admittedly, but, now that he is being referred by SLTs and paediatricians I am more trusting of them and wonder what they see in him that means they want to do more tests and observations.
We had a home visit today and DS was really unsettled for the first 10mins and then was fine. He knows the person very well, but he has these associations that I'm noticing - certain people or things are for certain places or activities. They've never been here before and that just kind of threw him off and made him upset. After he got used to it he was fine, saw them off at the door and waved goodbye (big step for us! He only recently started waving bye), and when he sees them in their setting he is always fine and happy.
He isn't the odd one out in reality. More perhaps that people with parents that have the calm quiet ones tend to take them to such places.
I have 3 dc. All aprented roughly the same.
Dd1 would sit happily through something like a wedding with a colouring book/lift the flap book from 15 months. Never a peep out of her if we explained before hand. And she was quite happy to play with a book.
Dd2 wouldn't have sat at 15 months, but would have by 2yo, although perhaps not as long even then.
Ds would have thrown the book on the floor at gone off to find something more fun (ie active and preferably noisy) at 4yo. I didn't take him to a lot of the places I took dd1 and dd2 simply because it was agony for him trying to sit still and he didn't enjoy it-and agony for me knowing that I would spend most of the time either trying to keep him quiet or chasing him to come back.
Ds does have hearing issues, he's done hearing tests from about 3yo-they tried before that but weren't too worried that he did one or two sounds then decided a more entertaining use of the bricks he was meant to be putting into the box was the build them into a tower and knock it down. They said that was fairly normal.
In fact it wasn't really until he was about 5yo and they decided to use the button to press he's really done them properly. They told him he was a pilot and pressing the button dropped a bomb... and he loves that so does it very enthusiastically. (this was after they'd asked him what he was interested in and he talked about WWII and planes)
He's 7yo, and it's only in the last year that I;ve been able to relax at things where he needs to be quiet and sit still.
I make sure I explain beforehand what is expected-because once he's there he can be too excited to listen. I have a treat that he was have while he's being quiet-and if it's very important to keep him quiet, also one he gts at the end if he's been good.
If he is noisy, I remove him, as once his concentration has gone, it's hard to get back.
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