Hv 'gravely concerned' about dds speach..

[Stretchmarksarethenewblack]

Just that really. Dd had her 1 year review (at 15 months) yesterday. She understands loads and I do give her a commentary of our day to day things but she just doesn't say anything. Well she can say mama and dada... Are there any ways I can encourage her to say more things?? My Hv hates me because I ignored her 'advice' of stopping bf at 6 months so feel like I can't do anything right by her.. Any help please!!? Xx

[DeWee]

Pag as usual has it right. If there are other issues, then the earlier the intervention the better.
Use the HV to chase paed appointments. let them put her on the waiting list-they're about 12 months long in this area so if she doesn't need it at 2yo you can refuse it if you want, but if she does, you'll be ahead of going on the list them and waiting until 3yo to be seen.

It's not "gravely concerned" at 15 months only having two words, but there is no guarantee that she won't only have two words at 2yo. Getting things moving and then stopping them isn't an issue if you don't need intervention. Stopping them from being put in place and then finding you do need it can be.

[sezamcgregor]

REPORT HER

Gravely concerned indeed

[Albertatata]

Oh god definitely ignore

[slightlyconfused85]

How ridiculous of your hv. Dd is 21 months and has plenty to say for herself, but at 15 months said daddy and babbled a lot. All children are different.

[Pagwatch]

Have any of you read that the op s child has other issues and is waiting to see the community paediatrician?
So 'my child had no words but now speaks well' isn't really that relevent' .

[whyhasmyheadgonenumb]

Wow!! Don't go back.
My DD could only say mama and daddy at 2, maybe dog or woof or something like that. My DS is 18 months and can say loads! Where dadda gone, juice all gone, bye bye mommy - tons of stuff. Kids are sooooo different and she should know that!!!

[crazykat]

Ignore her. All children are different. My dd2 was speaking in short sentences at 20 months. Ds2 is 22 months and only says about 20 recognisable words, if he wants something he can get his meaning across.

I'm not worried in the slightest. I he get to 2.5/3 and still not saying much then I'll start to worry. All four of my DCs have gone from saying a few words to talking non stop within a couple of months.

[Amyellow]

I'm a speech and language therapist, and wouldn't be concerned about your LO at this point. The fact that she understands loads is brilliant - I would be worried if she didn't seem to be understanding anything, but good comprehension is a really positive sign for developing language.

My rough rule of thumb is first word by 18 months, so I'd be happy with a 15 month old saying mama and dada.

You're doing exactly the right thing by commenting to her - children need to hear good language models to learn how to talk. It's so much better to comment than to ask lots of 'what's this?' questions.

[FastWindow]

Ah right didn't know she had a condition, phone took ages to post. Well no advice apart from be the squeaky wheel. Good luck, sounds like you need some!

[FastWindow]

I haven't seen a hv since the six week check. Why is this woman still being allowed in your house when she is so unhelpful? Tutting at bf? Oookaaayyy...

[Pagwatch]

Good luck stretchmarksarethenewblack.

Do have a look at the SN section of chat if you get a chance. Some really great posters there - especially around SLT.
X

[Stretchmarksarethenewblack]

Thank you for all your helpful comments. My gp is nice but also very old fashioned and has no knowledge experience of my dds condition so isn't much use. We live in a tiny village and my Hv is the only one unfortunately. I'll just keep hassling salt myself now. X

[Pagwatch]

That's a great idea Slarty - get the HV doing something productive with her concerns.

Op , you could then deal with every 'I am gravely concerned' comment by replying 'well how far have you got with getting my appointment, if it's incredibly serious?'

It might make her put up or shut up iyswim.

[slartybartfast]

you could suggest your health visitor chases the community paediatric team, as annoying as she is, she might have more clout.

[Pagwatch]

Merlehaggard
I am sure lots of people do say such things in a 'well mostly that start in their own time' way. And I know too that people think they are being comforting.
But honestly, a blind 'it will be fine' is horrible if you are worried. It's dismissive. And the number of children needing SLT is big enough that resources can't possibly keep up so it's hardly a rare thing.

[Mostlyjustaluker]

You can self refer to the speech and language team. Ring them up and tell them what the he said but I am guessing after they ask you a few screening questions they will not give you an appointment as you don't need one.

[Pagwatch]

Stretchmarksarethenewblack

Yes, it is exhausting - and frustrating. You have my sympathy. I remember it well.
I don't think you have said, is your GP any good? They can be a big help if you get them on side. You should tell your GP that the HV has now raised a possible speech issue as this may bump your DD up a bit in terms of priority iyswim.

[sonlypuppyfat]

Thank you Merle they were supposed to be words of comfort so she wouldn't worry.

[merlehaggard]

sonlypuppyfat was only repeating what everyone I know says, if you say your child is slow at a walking/talking "they'll do it when they're ready" "they all get there in the end" type comments. It's easy on here to forget that you aren't having a conversation with the OP but with potentially thousands of others. However, her comment does stand for the majority.

[Stretchmarksarethenewblack]

Thank you girls. I have been hassling the comm paeds secretary for months now. I am literally on the phone to a health care professional at least once a week trying to chase up appointments/ referrals. It is just so mentally exhausting. Will keep trying x

[hazeyjane]

If you call the hospital and ask for the email of the community paeds secretary, I would email them and ask when they are planning to see your dd, as Pagwatch says, sometimes you have to be pushy. Now I always get the email address whenever ds sees a medical professional, as I know I will end up having to be a pushy parent!!

As your dd has other medical concerns, I would try to pursue any worries through your paed or gp if you have a good one, but keep the hv door open in case it changes to a more helpful one.

If you have speech concerns you can call your local speech and language service, who should have an advice line.

[Pagwatch]

I think this HV is causing you more stress than help tbh but I'm a bit concerned at everyone just suggesting you dump her when you clearly have a child with some complex issues and not much support at all.
Is your GP any good? Could ou go to your GP and ask them to push your community paediatrician appointment along as you have now been told there may be a speech issue too?

It is really difficult to get seen sometimes and you have to be pushy unfortunately. Is there anyone who can help you with that?

You could maybe look at the special needs section on here too. There are some great posters on there.

If you don't want to see this HV please try and get support from somewhere else. Do you have contact details for the community paed? Are you sure they have received the referral?



sonlypuppyfat.
In fairness it is a pretty astonishing thing not to know and to never have met or seen anyone with learning difficulties or autism or anything else, let alone simple delayed speech. Or Stephen Hawkings perhaps.

[fanjoforthemammaries7850]

Sorry sonly. It just really shocked me.