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Behaviour/development

Talk to me about dummies...

39 replies

LittleMilla · 30/07/2013 21:28

I loathe them, and yet I did myself staring at one on the coffee table contemplating giving it to my ds2.

He's a wee one at just 11 days old but already I'm shattered after another shit night. He's feeding overnight every 1-2 hours and will sleep for up to 4 hours in the day. I know I need to try and flip him and have attempted to keep him awake more today to feed him more.

So what do people think about dummies? Ds1 never took one but ds2 seems to suckle more and we have short feeds where I know he's not taking much.

Can they be used as the baby whisperer says - just to help them self soothe in the early days and only for the first stage of dropping off to sleep?

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Mum2Fergus · 02/08/2013 22:23

Never used one with DS who's now nearly 4...

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GingerDoodle · 01/08/2013 11:20

I, like you, don't like them. However I did not want to be used as a soother, at first my DD wouldn't take one at first (a few days) and I can't remember when she did - 3 weeks or so.

She is now 10 months and mainly has it for naps / when she is tired; she is beginning to reject it at other times. My plan is to not upgrade the size - she has the 0 - 6 month ones and I won't be buying bigger - when they are too small to be effective hopefully she will just give them up.

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Chocolateyclaire76 · 01/08/2013 11:12

I too loathed the idea of a dummy after seeing older children sucking on them but it's amazing how your opinions change post child birth! My LO was extremely loud and vocal from the moment she came out and although I really did try to resist it became too much and I gave in. She seemed to want it more the older she got, she's now 8 months, and I'm now having a debate about weaning her off it. She developed a habit of needing it to settle during night wakings which are frequent - the dreaded downside to the dummy!

In general though, I still hate the look of them and don't like seeing her suck it but if it's making her happy at the moment then I'm just going to go with it and deal with the fall out later!

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Imsosorryalan · 01/08/2013 09:23

Yes, agreed. My two only kept their dummies in the bedroom and it didn't come out of there.

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Kiwiinkits · 01/08/2013 03:27

Dummies are all good for young sucky babies.
IMO dummies should be phased out before the baby hits about 7-8 months. And should be kept for in-bed use only. Otherwise they get VERY attached and they're hard to remove.

I am absolutely against kids who are forming language and starting to speak having dummies during the day. HATE HATE HATE kids of 2 or 3 walking around sucking a dummy as I think it stops meaningful communication.

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Imsosorryalan · 31/07/2013 23:05

I used dummies with both of mine. Was adamant I wouldn't at first but quickly changed my tune when I saw how they workedGrin
Dd1 gave hers up to the dummy fairy at 3 without problems and dd2 we took it off her at 6 months again, no problems except for one tricky afternoon nap time.

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kipplin · 31/07/2013 22:50

I've had two 9lb 5oz babies, both have had dummies. My 4yo gave hers to the dummy fairy when she turned 3. Prior to that she had only had them for bedtime. We had no trouble at all parting with them, much to my surprise!! She has excellent speech and is a lovely chilled out little lady....as am I!! The dummy has been a good friend to me ;)

I'm not a big fan of seeing LO out and about with them stuck in their mouth, so my only personal advice would be to set that rule early.

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Layl77 · 31/07/2013 22:25

Sorry didn't click it's first two weeks, yes that's good he's gaining so well. Bf is obviously going well well done!

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LittleMilla · 31/07/2013 18:17

He lost a couple of oz in the first days and so he's actually gained 6oz. MW impressed as they simply expect them to be back up to birthweight by 2 weeks. So I'm happy.

I'm going to play it by ear. He's been awake (woken!) much more today and so I'll see if the extra calories make any difference. Will give it a whirl tonight if he starts waking hourly again as I'm pretty sure he's not hungry.

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brettgirl2 · 31/07/2013 17:55

its simple, take the dummy off them before they get to old. Both mine had them but I also loathe seeing kids wandering around soft play with them in. 4 oz in first 2 Weeks is good, Most are about birthweight at that point surely?

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Layl77 · 31/07/2013 17:05

4 oz isn't a lot for under two weeks. Average is 3-7ish per week. Sounds perfectly normal for the age, after 6 weeks I find it gets easier and you're not as much of a human dummy ;) although dummies are plastic nipples!

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Davsmum · 31/07/2013 16:05

I was very anti dummy - probably because my mother was - She used to say it was for 'lazy mothers' !!!
My DD never had one and it wasn't an issue - but when my DS came along - I 'gave in' and got one because he liked to suckle all the time!

I don't think there is anything wrong with them but I would probably say don't use it when you don't have to - and try to wean the baby off it at some point because my DS still used his when he was 3 and it was harder to stop it then! I think I let him have it too often - and it did seem to affect his teeth which sort of curved where the dummy was always in - however, they straightened when he stopped using a dummy.

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worldgonecrazy · 31/07/2013 11:52

DD had a dummy - still does. They don't bother me in the slightest, and it certainly hasn't hindered her speech development. I suspect there is an association of dummies with the Wayne & Waynetta school of parenting which puts people off them.

I was interested to find out that the term "dummy" doesn't refer to their use to keep children dumb/quiet, but to the fact they are a "dummy tit", which was their original name.

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lottieandmia · 31/07/2013 11:44

My breastfed babies would not take dummies. The formula fed one did like them though. It's fine to use one if you're exhausted imo.

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Lagoonablue · 31/07/2013 11:41

He is only a few days old. The day night thing can take a while. 2 hourly feeds at night pretty normal.

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LittleMilla · 31/07/2013 11:38

Just had him weighed again - he's gained 4oz in under two weeks. MW thinks that my mental supply means he needs to do little to be full - milk just pours in to his mouth. So happy to feed little and often. Dummy could help stretch him between feeds and regulate my supply a little.

I'm going to wake him up more today too to try and adjust this day vs night sleeping. Last night he was up again every 1.5-2 hours. Yet happy to go 3 hours + in the day.

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Lagoonablue · 31/07/2013 06:41

Mine never took one. I was the dummy.

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StupidFlanders · 31/07/2013 05:37

mousarama mine also did all the fingers shocked in a mouth with two in the eyes regularly without one!

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StupidFlanders · 31/07/2013 05:36

I love dummies. As far as I'm concerned for the first few months of a baby's life it gives them joy and that's enough for me. They have also helped me establish good sleeping very early for all of mine.

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Mouserama · 31/07/2013 04:51

I was very anti-dummies - until my LO was born. She is a very sucky baby, and was using me as comfort. I gave her a dummy at about 7 days when I saw her in her moses basket with 6 fingers in her mouth and the remaining fingers/thumbs in her eyes (she hadn't quite realised how to suck her fingers without poking herself in the eye at the same time!). At first the dummy was just at night, but after 3 days I started giving it to her during the day as we. She loves it, and it instantly calms her. I'll deal with taking it away at a later date...(she's only 6wo at the mo)

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BackforGood · 30/07/2013 23:49

All 3 of mine had dummies, but only to go to sleep with, and they were all rid of them by 2yrs old.
Wouldn't have been without them as babies. The key is, to not let toddlers - or worse 3 and 4 yr olds - wander around with them, preventing, or hindering speech development.

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Nicknamegrief · 30/07/2013 23:41

I have four children and while none of them have had dummies, two are thumb suckers and I wish I could swap the thumb for a dummy.

While I have never had to do it I think a dummy is easier to wean a child from than a thumb.

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heidihole · 30/07/2013 23:33

I gave a dummy and took it away at 12 weeks before he became an 'addict'. I replaced it with cuski (google it) which is a god send. Oh my god he loves his cuski. He's 14m not and not a thumb sucker just a cuski sucker/stroker. Cuski lives in the cot though he doesn't come downstairs.

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NaturalBaby · 30/07/2013 23:10

All of mine had/have a dummy (I'm trying to convince my 2 1/2yr old to give up his) from quite early. It was a life saver on many occasions but I also had to get up and put them back in quite a few times in the early days until they could find them in the cot themselves.
I'd rather have a dummy sucker than a thumb/finger sucker.

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Descriptivist · 30/07/2013 22:50

God, go for it. You sound like you'll be a judicious user! DD refused one and is a finger addict at 18months. You can take away the dummy...

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