DH is having his lie in (we alternate) although I am about to call time on it soon as actually he is just pretending to be asleep to avoid the tantrumming downstairs She is bloody tired all the time because recently has gone through a week of not going off to sleep straightaway, wanting to come downstairs and being away until gone 8, however being up at 6-7am every morning. In fact she is tired all the time, it's all she every says, and is sleeping during the day most days too, so I think she is growing and most of this is down to that, but...
This morning we have had a bowl of muesli and yoghurt, asked for, moaned about then tipped all over the floor with a very proud 'Finished!'. We have had screaming over wearing socks, including kicking me in the face. I have got everything ready to go swimming and now she won't go as won't get dressed and says she is too tired. Gone up to her room as she wanted to go back to bed, hasn't slept but has peed all over her bed. Cue more washing for me and another change of clothes, more screaming and wrestling to get her into them - ashamed to say I was a bit rough but just needed to get her dressed.
Now happily playing with a bloody annoying singing leprechaun toy and a bead she found. It's a tiny football apparently. SO obviously love her again now.
But can I just say; GAAAAAAAAAAAH.
Terrible twos? pah, I laugh in your face. Not sure what to call this - Fucking awful threes?
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Behaviour/development
Need to rant - nearly three year old DD doing my head in...
missmakesstuff · 17/03/2013 10:27
DD1 (3.3) has always been such a sweet natured, kind and loving girl - until about 6 weeks ago.
We call her a 'threenager', she's grumpy, tired, controlling, defiant and oh my God the whinging!
She even has tantrums in her sleep! 
Marking place as going through same with my same age DD she is literally breaking me!!! You have 
and sympathy from me OP!
Sounds very normal to me! My 3 year old has also discovered how to wind me up recently. Refusing to do things I ask her to do. Doing things I ask her not to do. Lots of other things too. It bloody well winds me up but I know it's her trying to exert her independence and test the boundaries - of course she is an angel at nursery etc. She is also generally very well behaved so I find it hard when she acts up!
I wonder about the sleep thing: yes she is tired but might she need to drop her nap? Mine did at just after 3. It can become a vicious circle with them needing a nap because they are tired (and behaviour terrible) but as a result they then won't sleep until 8/9/10 and then are ridiculously tired the next day and behaviour gets even worse. How long does she sleep for? My friend's daughter was like this and she just dropped the nap - a few weeks of very tired daughter, especially late afternoon but she was fast asleep as soon as she was in bed. My daughter gets up at 7 ish and is in bed at 6:30. No nap. Could be worth considering. Or at least limiting nap to an hour max. Mine now might have a nap once a week, sometimes twice, but never more than an hour. Just to recharge her batteries - and you can see the behaviour gets better too.
I do feel your pain - it is so frustrating sometimes.
Oh gosh yes the terrible threes. I was actually going to start a thread about my 3 in may dd3 who is horrendous at the moment. Although she is my fourth child and my ds was a handful she seems to be on a different level to all of them.
So far today she has run off twice, smacked me in the face, mooned at me 
. Where the hell that's come from I don't know. Been rude and defiant, had a tantrum over the toothpaste, it wasn't stripy enough apparently. Turned my back and found her standing on the table. Poured water into the PC key board.
I am worried she is showing early symptoms of ADHD/asd like ds as she seems wild to me but its reassuring to read that it's quite normal behaviour. She is great in nursery and playgroup btw
butterfly is right of course its not just about discipline. Being at the end of the threes I would also add:
- Deciding what is acceptable to you and what isnt
- Planning the path of least resistance
- Start to talk about their feelings.
- Praise where it is due.
Piper you dont sound ridiculous at all, we've all done it! Also just in terms of discipline its a balance because much under 3 they are too young and even at 3 it needs to be instantaneous.
A few confessions of mine (pathetic alert)
I helped my daughter put her shoes on till a couple of weeks ago and she's 4 next month (and I still do if I'm in a hurry
). I let her choose her most recent shoes and before I bought them I made her demonstrate she could put them on 
tbh I couldnt be arsed with her kicking off when we went out. She had to ask me nicely though. I mean as long as they can do it by school it doesnt matter does it .I love talking to her about how things make her feel (happy and sad the only 2 emotions a 3 year old has apparently). We had a breakthrough a couple of weeks ago, I asked her how giving her friend the present would make her feel and she said.... Happy! Previously it was all
as she wouldnt have it any more!!!I dont mind if she leaves the table, that she doesnt want to write, if she wears clashing clothes (the more random shades of pink in an outfit the better
), that she doesnt like her hairbrushed (just dont let it get too long as she will let mil cut it more .) So in lots of ways I'm really very soft.....Also it would usually be quicker to put her clothes away for her, but she's good at it, so its something to praise her for
DD1 is all about the 'I can't remember" 'I don't know'
once I may not know much but I can answer the question about not showing remorse being normal - hell yes!
I saw a programme where someone described all small children as sociopaths - they are not yet sophisticated enough to understand other people's feelings and frankly why they should care about them.
However they are just starting to be able to put themselves in someone else's shoes. You should be able to talk it through with him - i.e. 'if someone stamped on your head how would you feel?' DD is just starting to get that she has to share - not because she wants to - but because she gets a better quality of play with her friends when she does so. It's an entirely self-centred decision.
butterfly Only you can judge each situation and decide to take control as parent, ignore, discipline or comfort. But I don't feel I can tell
Can't tell you how relieved I feel after reading these threads - both about other 3 year olds and how you as parents respond!! My DS just turned 3 and I'm finding it really hard at the moment. He is naughty, defiant and I'm afraid knows just how to wind me up!! I try to stay calm but am finding myself becoming more and more of a shouty mum - which I hate and always feel guity about afterwards . He is a very loving little boy but recently when we are out he seems to go out of his way to push and be rough with other children, particularly small children - this really embarrasses me, but he shows little remorse even if the other child is upset (please tell me this is normal behaviour for a 3 year old??). Recently he very deliberately jumped onto a small child's head in the ball pit at soft play - just after I had pointed the child out and asked him to be careful.
Interested to hear about the 123 magic book recommended above - might have to give it a go.
I feel your pain
I too have an almost 3 year old and she's driving me crazy
She too is tired and is not eating very well for the past few months since having the nori virus in November
Dd2 is lucky she's cute or I would have sold her to the gypsies by now
My only advice is that her big sister was like this too and has thankfully grown out of it (dd1 is 5) so there is light at the end of the tunnel 
brettgirl2 I totally get what you are saying but I was in that state where the idea of driving with the screaming was horrendous so I wanted something to comfort her, as it happened I couldn't find the fucking princess pen so the screaming happened anyway. There was a brief hiatus of about 3 mins before she realised we were nearly at nursery when it started again . I am embarrassed about how hopeless and weak I must appear when it's written down like this!
I do think I need to reminded that she is not a baby, my issue is that I am terrified of doing it 'wrong'. I almost need someone else (you?!) to give me permission to discipline her as I worry she is too young and I might squash her. My mum says I am over thinking it (of course). I am consistent in what can and can't happen so I avoid a lot of tantrums that way (ie she knows if I say no I mean no and I can't be got round) but once they happen I seem to lose control.
re: nursery: she does 1.5 days and it is a battle both mornings. Though not normally this bad.
missmakes putting myself in her place - exactly. She seems so genuinely distraught.
I was about to post about my 3 year old's militant tantrums but thought I'd hop on yours missmakes I know it's completely normal and common but FUCKING HELL. But am not sure if I'm handling them right. DD is very passionate and I am naturally equable (possibly stolid!) so I find it a bit baffling and often stand there just looking at her.
This am was a perfect storm - DD1 hates going to nursery (but always comes back having had 'a lovely day' - her words), then DH, who had been away on a business trip came home just in time for breakfast. So that was the catalyst.
She refused to put her shoes on then lay on the floor screaming and kicking. we were running late, so I put her in the car anyway, quite roughly as she was struggling . Then she wanted Daddy (who gave her hugs and kisses as she screamed and vacillated between 'I love you daddy/I want ANOTHER daddy'.) Eventually I said, 'look you'll just have to go' so he did. DD demanded a toy which I got, then her princess pen, which i couldn't find, then we had screaming for about 10 minutes, which set DD2 off. She calmed down, remembered we were going to nursery and started again. I told her how much fun she would have, it was only until lunch etc etc, but not acceptable. Then I'm afraid I lost it and said, 'you have to go to nursery and now I'm in a bad mood and you won't want to spend the morning with me.'
Got to nursery and she clamped herself on me, still screaming and crying which was pretty embarrassing and awful and now I am at home feeling completely useless and wondering if I am doing her emotional damage.
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