control cry a 4 month old

[JPaav]

Hi all. Need some advice. My 4 month old DD is in most ways a delightful baby, but she won't sleep at night more that 2 hours at a stretch. She was going for 5-7 hours but once she was 3.5 months it all went away. I am having some health issues and very high blood pressure and both her doctor and mine have recommended that we sleep train her via controlled crying. I used this method to perfect success with my older DD when she was 7 months. Do I do anything differently this time because she is 4 months? Any other tips??

[TiggerWearsATriteSmile]

Why are you getting mad at us lurkers on the internet then?

YOU asked advice on an Internet forum and proceeded to tell everyone else how to do it.
Are you Mrs. Weissbluth or something?
Epic fail on your part.

[TiggerWearsATriteSmile]

PMSL at scientific sleep journal by the way.
Someone forgot to tell my three children about that little gem.

Good luck now OP.

[JPaav]

Epic fail. Good lord. I asked if anyone had any tips on how I couldodigu base on age. Then some helpful people suggested things like pick up put down and some other methods which I am now researching.

[JPaav]

I just had to google pmsl. Perhaps you could have had years more sleep if you had done something. My 5 year old has slept since six months based on Weissbluth methods. She is fluent in 3 languages and is the most loving outgoing happy kid I've ever met. Don't be so judgemental.

[CoteDAzur]

OP - On the advice of her paediatrician we sleep trained DD with CC at 4 months. We did the same with DS at 5 months.

I'm not sure what you mean by "Do I do anything differently" because I don't know what you did the first time.

[JPaav]

Hi Cote thanks for responding. Many of the books recommend 6 months. What i am wondering is if there is anything I need to do as she is younger. For exam

[TiggerWearsATriteSmile]

So if Weissbluth has it figured out why again are you asking us?

[JPaav]

Hi Cote thanks for responding. Many of the books recommend 6 months. What i am wondering is if there is anything I need to do as she is younger. For example did you keep dream feed and 3 am feed? If so did you wake yours to do this or responded to a cry at 3? When I cc with my first we stopped night feeding but I don't want to do that now.

[ThisIsMummyPig]

OP - I did pick up put down with my kids, but when they were much older, and it is physically hard work, If you are ill I really don't think you should enter into it unless your DP can do it.

Realistically if you think your child needs some night feeds, there is no point in either doing pick up put down or leaving them to cry it out, as sometimes you will be making her go back to sleep without a feed, (and making her cry it out) and sometimes feeding her (so not making her cry it out). That sounds incredibly confusing for your baby, and very stressful for all of you.

Can your partner not give formula/babyrice/expressed milk at one of the night feeds, so you can sleep through that one?

[YoullScreamAboutItOneDay]

I honestly don't understand how you can do CC without also stopping night feeds. I think it is far too confusing for them to sometimes be fed if they cry and sometimes not. I am not anti-CC necessarily (we had to do it, with a heavy heart, with DD1 at one, and seem to be heading the same way with 18 month old DD2), but I just don't get how you can do it unless you are sure you can stop night feeds.

Doesn't either Weissbluth or your doctor have any advice on how to go about it?

[JPaav]

Tigger go bother someone else. I am a very ill mother trying to do the best I can. I am asking others who have done this. You don't fit this profile so maybe get off this thread and go do something nice fr yourself.

[JPaav]

Weissbluth suggests stopping night feeds as her weight suggests this is fine. DD''s doc suggested waking her for a feed between 2 and 3.

[MilkRunningOutAgain]

Erm when I did cc it was 2 bad nights, with quite a bit of crying, a few nights with a few grizzles, but no outright crying and then 9.5 years of excellent sleep. He wakes up , sticks in thumb, sucks and falls back to sleep, he is 10 now and still doing it. He changed from a hyper grumpy baby who wouldn't be put down or nap in the day, into a calm happy smiling baby in 3 or 4 days, and he had good day time naps too. Even his feeding improved!

I never have had to do it again and he's slept well through teething, illness, etc etc. it did teach him to go to sleep by himself. And he's still a cuddly affectionate boy, likes to snuggle up for a while before bed. Luckily dd was always a good sleeper and I didn't have to resort to cc for her.

I hated doing it and I can remember Dh and I both crying in bed listening to DS crying, but it worked and I think it was the right thing to do.

It sounds like you need to try this from the point of view of your health, you can't be a great mum if you're ill.

Would you consider ff? That would allow your partner to feed while you rest up?

And I agree with the posters who say good day time sleep is related to good night time sleep. Solve one and it's quite likely the other will improve.

Good luck, cc could help you and your LO.

[JPaav]

The issue is that she needs t

[FairiesWearPoppies]

Firstly sorry if this is a daft question but I dunno much about the subject.

Can you cc during the day so daytime naps are established? Or is it more that you want to sleep through the night?

[CoteDAzur]

We stopped night feeds. That was the whole point - sleep train so that babies would sleep through the night.

I agree that it would be confusing to sometimes feed your baby and sometimes not.

When baby woke up, DH went in and used a combination of pick up/put down, shh/pat, sing, kiss, rock, etc to get her back to sleep, sometimes leaving the baby and letter her cry for a minute or two. That's what he told me anyway - I just slept through it all

[hazeyjane]

I thought Weissbluth was cry it out,rather than controlled crying?

[Haberdashery]

I do not understand why night feeds are impacting on your blood pressure (though I do feel sorry for you as wakeful babies are no fun and obviously even less fun if you are not well).

Do not do controlled crying with a baby of this age. She is far too little and it is not unreasonable (in developmental terms) for her to feed all night long if that's what she wants to do.

[JPaav]

Cote my DH will be doing this so this makes sense. Did you feed more in day then? I really believe (based on experience with firstborn) that night sleep falls into place sooner plus it is usually recommended that cc first at nights. I don't want to go w formula as my family is laden w autoimmune probs (inc me) and this might prevent that.

[JPaav]

Weissbluth covers them all but recommends controlled. It really worked a dream with our first daughter who loves sleep since the day we did it

[JPaav]

Cote one other question. Do you think then that your baby felt looked after and loved by DH but just decided to not get up any more because food wasn't

[JPaav]

Continued-- involved or that she learned to self soothe? So did you correct a feeding issue or sleeping issue?

[TENDTOprocrastinate]

Op. people on mumsnet seem to be really anti CC - in real k

[CoteDAzur]

Obviously, I can't say what baby felt or thought, but I can say that she was very content and happy in the morning and just as affectionate & smiley with us so it didn't feel like she was traumatised by the experience of sleep training.

It took two nights. She slept through on the third and has slept through ever since, bar the occasional illness or teething. She is also trilingual like yours

[CoteDAzur]

My understanding is that night wakings after the first couple of months is a habit issue rather than a need issue. When you stop night feedings, daytime feeding increases to compensate. After a few days, body adjusts to the new feeding schedules and the habit to feed in the night is forgotten.