Changing your mind about names once baby arrives

[KittyB52]

We are still undecided about baby names for our daughter (37 weeks today!) and quite a few people have said that we will probably change our minds once we see her anyway. This gives me hope about pencilling in the names I love (which DH does NOT love) just in case she suits one of them.

So, please tell me if you chose names before the birth and then decided baby didn't suit them and had to choose something else. Does this really happen that often?

Sorry if this has been done loads before, advanced search still isn't working.

[Mama1980]

I had a long grown up name picked out for ds1 but he was born at 26 weeks in traumatic circumstances and it just wasn't 'him' at all. So i picked on the spur of the moment a short, very uncommon name. 9 years on I still love it and it suits him perfectly.
Ds2 was named by my other children luckily I love that too.
Dd2 I picked once I had seen her, because of circs didn't really think of names before then I just went with my instinct at the time.

[LydsMez]

Just depends what you're like I think. We didn't fund out with either child. With #1 my husband and I went through baby books separately and came up with a shortlist then compared (on reflection this is how our marriage operates!). There was about 2 overlaps. He'd chosen girls' names of people he knew (I thought) and they always reminded me of girls at school I'd hated!!! Plus I like my name as it's not too popular but equally not weirdly different and wanted something similar for DD. Anyway she was "Infant of LM" for 3 days in hospital!! Finally decided on a name (I had the last say) and it suits her perfectly. Then I realised we know 3 adults with the same name but pfff! With DS we just used a name we'd both liked for #1. Easy! I wasn't so concerned with finding a boy's name as they all get it shortened/get a nickname at school anyway. With both children we used our middle names as have family connections.

I did find there was huge pressure to immediately have a name and everyone has an opinion so careful about telling it before the birth!!

[Raisinbrain]

When I had DS2 however I had a DH so it wasn't my decision alone. Out he came and the obstetrician asked "what are you going to call him?" And DH blurted out a name. So then we had to stick with that. Probably for the best though as I would have never been able to settle on a name AND have it approved by DH.

[Raisinbrain]

It happened to me yes, when DS1 was born I had a list of about ten names but once I saw him I threw it out and started from scratch. I found it very hard to give him a name, it felt somehow restrictive.

[228agreenend]

First dc was named during pregnancy.

Second fc - didn't know if boy or girl. We did have a name. Ie. William Harry. When he was born, both dh and I thought independently of each other he didn't look like a William, so we just reversed the names. Nothing wrong with among them when you meet and greet them.

[WheresYouWheelieBin]

We named all three of our DSs (first and middle names) as soon as we found out what we were having. We loved using their names during my pregnancies, it really helped us bond with them. When each of the boys were born their names were all spot on, absolutely perfect, so we didn't need to change a thing.

[DownyEmerald]

Baby was a probable Naomi for most of pregnancy, then a maybe Amelie - until (thanks to the baby in the next bed) we realised that would be shorted to Milly, and that was too similar to surname.

Ended up with something that was very similar to a midwife's surname; her name tag (she was the only midwife who wore one) triggered a memory of a name that wasn't on any of our lists because it wasn't in any of my (many) name books.

Once she was born (came a bit early so we hadn't got round to a short list), we went through our lists, plus the midwife name, and came up with a list of 5, that we pinned up on wall. Independently we both decided the midwife name was our favourite. DD didn't look at all like a Naomi.

[angelcake20]

Ds didn't suit name number one when he came out so he got number two on the list (even though DM had already told all the staff name number one). Dd we couldn't think of anything we liked, let alone agreed on (2 best friends had used the two girl's names we had for ds and we felt like they belonged to someone else). 30 mins after she was born we sat there saying "we've got to pick a name for this child" and plumped for something boring. 12 years later I still don't love the name but can't think of anything I would have preferred!

[BeacauseImAnElf]

Dd was going to be Jessica. When she was born I wasn't sure and dh agreed. Then a midwife walked past and I loved her name so we used that. It hasn't been on any of our lists

[Alicadabra]

Don't worry too much about it: it will almost certainly work out no matter what you do. I think once you get used to a name for a child - which really doesn't take long - it very quickly become "the only" name you could call them.

I went into labour with DD1 (didn't know gender at that stage) with a list of about 20 girls' names and about 5 boys' names. By the time she was born we had narrowed it down to 3 of each - but still didn't decide until several days later. In hindsight any of them would probably have been fine but I'm very pleased with the choice we made: it's unusual but not 'odd' - and it suits her to a T. Interestingly, it wasn't my favourite - that was a name which very soon afterwards became associated with a very badly behaved pop star, so I'm glad we didn't choose it! (It would probably be fine now but it might have been a bit weird for a year or so, when the name was very heavily associated with drink and drug abuse).

DD2 was effectively named by DD1, who went into her nursery and announced (2 months before her sister was born and much to the confusion of all the staff) that "Mummy's had a baby and she's called X". After that we really struggled to think of DD2 as anything else, so jokingly referred to the bump as X until it became impossible to call her anything else. Again, the name now 'works' and I can't imagine her called anything else.

[muminmanchester]

DS was Sam all the way through pregnancy. Took one look at him and knew it wasn't right. Went with a name which wasn't even on our list. My mum kept calling him Sam for about a month!

[MrsKoala]

We had a different name for all 3 of ours and then went with another when they were born. With both ds's i can't imagine them with the first choice, but DD i think she would have suited the original name and do often think we may have made a mistake - altho i love her name, i just can see her more as the other sometimes.

I feel like i have to have a DD2 now to use the name up!

[MrsPeel1]

I never understood the 'when you see them, you will know' brigade until I met Dd.
She was definitely going to be one name (dh didn't agree but I knew he'd let me choose after giving birth, so was smugly biding my time). Then she arrived and I knew she wasn't what I was intending to call her, we called her something totally different! Serves me right for my smuggery!

[Mrsleighdelamare]

We didn't find out the sexes either so had long lists, DD was going to be my middle name but when she was born we just thought it was too big a name for a baby. Daft I know. But we ended up with a name that I preferred anyway but DH hadn't been keen on throughout. She has same middle name as me.

DS1 and DS2 - we had quite a few girls' names but really only one boy name in the running each time, plus one for the middle name. Made DH read a whole baby name book for DS2 and we wrote lists of names we liked, there were two names on both our lists and that's DS2's first and middle names. I might add that all the other names DH chose were rotters.

[Mrsleighdelamare]

HelenaGWells I in fact know a Barrington, who is Barry for short. I though it was a wind up, but no, that's his real name.

[eth37]

Yep..: and weirdly I was so pleased to have got my DH to consent to my name choice!! Then ds2 just didn't suit it!! Name had "gone to the other side of the world" (his sister lives in Australia so his dad made a big deal out of the name change... on day two ffs!!!) but anyway, yeah baby just didn't suit his name and even now I think, phew we called you (second name choice)

[Unrulymacaroon1]

we kept babies sex a surprise & we couldnt agree on a girls name but both liked the same boys name, I had a boy, then came the argument about his middle name as I wanted him to have my middle name which is a family name & DH didn't like it.
Huge row on the way to register him, my middle name is on his birth certificate after all DH didn't spend 40.+ hours in labour 😂

[madamginger]

When I was pregnant with DD I picked a girls name that I loved but couldn't decide on a boys name, luckily she was a girl and she suits her name, It's a bit quirky and uncommon but I love it. She was named after my dad, who died when I was little.
Ds1 had about 10 different names before we settled on one that we agreed on. I just couldn't find a boys name that I loved.
Ds2 was the only one who's sex we found out at the 20 week scan and we had a name for him from around 30 weeks. I found his pregnancy very difficult and it was easier to bond with him once he had a name, luckily his name suits him and we never even thought of changing it.

[Feilin]

My dd was thea from the get go. Around 14 weeks we listed our names. It was the only girls name we could agree on. Lucky she suits it.

[Scichic]

DS was changed when we saw him
DD was 3 days old before we agreed and named her my choice 👌

[OhTheRoses]

littlecaff. . Did you nearly have a dd called Mavis?

[Littlecaf]

We had a very short list of three for DS. When he was born DP proclaimed "I think Derek (it's not Derek btw) is best". I said, "let me sleep on it". The next day we told everyone his name was Derek. I just needed some breathing space to know that was right.

[OhTheRoses]

DS1 was going to be Hugo
DS2 was going to be Oliver (he died sadly)
DD was going to be Oscar

None of the children were given the pg favourite. DS2's middle name was Louis and Louisa was a front runner at one point, I just couldn't get my he's around doing girls. Oddly the name we chose for her was very similar, phonetically to DS2 and quite subconsciously. From contacts with other mothers who have lost babies this is quite common.

[TheDowagerDuchessofDenver]

We had a shortlist of four, but secretly I was sure DS would be X. When he arrived we realised in horror that he didn't look like any of the names on our list and DH started saying he thought he looked like an Arthur, which wasn't a name either of us had suggested at all!
Anyway, we decided to sleep on it, and the next morning he looked much smaller and less puffy, and suited two of the names on our list - X and Y. X was still my favourite, but I had to agree with DH that he definitely looked more like a Y.
Now I'm really happy with his name -and it still suits him!