Baby names with private jokes attached - cute or unfair on the kid

[owlborn]

So, DH and I have had a plan for ages for our firstborn's names. They are very nice names, we think, but we also picked them because they came with silly in jokes between the two of us.

We have always said we'd call our firstborn 'Morgan Victor'. Victor because that's always the middle name of the firstborn son in DH's family (him, his father, his grandfather, all the way back to the 18th century) and Morgan was originally a joke because it sounded vaguely like a pirate, and I said I would call my firstborn 'Morgan' and raise him from birth to be a pirate because we need more pirates in this world. And it sort of stuck. Plus, it's a good solid Welsh name and DH is Welsh.

Then a while ago I commented that if I had a girl, I'd name her 'Mary Susannah', as in 'Mary Sue' and that way she'd have to be perfect. But 'Mary' is also a family name for me - my grandmother, and my mother and sister all had it as a middle name, and when I thought about it, I realized I'd really like the tradition to carry on.

Anyway, we're planning on starting our family soon and I mentioned our names to a friend and she said she hated 'joke' names and thought it was stupid, especially 'Mary Sue'. I said if we had a girl she'd be 'Mary' and I also thought the jokes were kind of subtle and weren't intrusive. Am I being unreasonable? Or can I get away with my names. I really like them as names too. I just also like that we picked them for slightly silly reasons that seem appropriate for our family.

[owlborn]

Glacinda - that's fantastic. :-)

DH and I actually discussed this today. We think if we have a second DS we'll use Robert for a middle name. First names he likes are Edward (as in Teach) and Jack (as in Jack Sparrow, which is his favourite but is hideously common). I also like Henry (as in Morgan) and Nathaniel (which is the name of about three minor pirates but also just sounds extra piratical and cool.

For girls we're totally lost if we have a second one. But hopefully we'll have at least a couple of years (well, a year or so after #1 is born) to think of something new. We like 'Hildegard' for family reasons again, but it's a bit of a mouthful for a child, so maybe 'Hilde' as a middle name and something a bit fairytale-y for a first name - Elise is my personal favourite. But it's all very maybe. And, of course, a very long time away and we may change our minds.

[YonicScrewdriver]

I don't think anyone would get Mary Sue until late teens. And even then, you probably only Know middle nanes for about 4 classmates ever. Go for it.

[GlacindaTheTroll]

If you have a second, he could be Edward (as in Teach).

A girl could be Grace (O'Malley) or perhaps Circe?

[CitrineRaindropPhoenix]

My DD is Katherine and referred to fairly interchangeably at home as Kate or Bob following Blackadder Ii. She likes the reference already and is looking forward to being old enough to watch it!

[TheRoseAndTheFire]

Mary Susannah is really nice. Most people who aren't geeky, involved in fandom so etc probably wouldn't get the 'Mary Sue' reference anyway.

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

Mary Iris is beautiful. I alway wanted to use Iris.

[Instituteofstudies]

I forgot to say I like both names and why not having something that is special to the two of you. I know someone called after a pet pig and think it's sweet. If it's ok to call someone after a relative,why not a pet. As long as it's not Whiskey or Fido.

[Marisola]

To the people objecting to Mary Sue. It's not Mary Sue, is it! It's Mary Susannah.

I think Mary Susannah sounds very nice, and if she doesn't like being Mary, then in Susannah she has a beautiful alternative.

[owlborn]

My criteria for baby names are that I want them to be relatively classic. I like names with history - traditional English, Hebrew, Welsh or German names (our joint heritage) are all good.

I want our kids to have at least one 'family name' somewhere which is why I'd like to include Victor or Mary somewhere.

And I quite like them having some kind of quirky extra meaning, although I'd be Ok with a name that had a different kind of resonance. I like the idea of names with a bit of a story about why we chose them. Which doesn't make it easy to take suggestions, although I really like feedback on the names so far.

I think Morgan Victor is definitely a go. I am pondering Mary Susannah. The other option is to be super classic and just use family names and call her Mary Iris which would be both grandmothers.

[drinkscabinet]

If you never call her Mary Sue I'm sure it wom't be picked up on. Mary Susannah is a perfectly fine names.

In jokes between you two are fine. DH works in IT, our kids initials are IBM. Not really planned but makes us giggle a bit.

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

Oh sorry, I misread that it was going to be Mary Sue. Mary Susannah is fine.

I love the name Mary. It sounds so fresh and clean against all these over frilly, cutesy names that are so popular at the moment. But that's my style. For example, I love Mary and I am really not keen on Mariella. I love Frances and am not keen on Francesca. etc.

[PuppyMonkey]

Not a clue what you're going on about with Mary Sue, I'm sure one day when I can be arsed I'll read that link. I'd bet you 90% of the population wouldn't get the "joke" either. So not much of a joke then really.

[owlborn]

If we have a second he can be Jack! Though Jack is super popular which is something I'm not so sure about.

The reason for Susannah instead of 'Sue' was to disguise the Mary Sue a little bit - I thought Mary Susannah sounded less obvious and she wouldn't be using her second name on a day to day level.

Hrm. I don't know. I do really love the Mary (although some people hate it). One of my friends has given her kids 'virtue' second names which I find cute. So maybe 'Mary Hope' instead or something?

[Instituteofstudies]

I think it's fine. I reckon if you're going for piratical names, you should go all out and go for Jack Bluebeard Sparrow, though :)

I'd not heard of Mary Sue, as a literary thing.

[PenguinsandtheTantrumofDoom]

I think Mary Sue is a bit of an obvious joke. Sorry.

On Morgan Victor, it's a perfectly nice name but I'm always a bit about the idea of pirates being a cheeky bit of fun and appearing so much in children's parties and cartoons. After all, piracy is actually rather more like what happens in Somalia. Failed state barbarity isn't what I'd want to associate my sweet cuddly newborn with.

[Heyho111]

I really don't like rhyming twin names. Milly and lily. Kalisha and Alisha. Etc.
or obvious famous name the amount of Romeos and Brooklyns and once I heard Shania and Keesha. They were def 80s products.
But your names sound lovely. They are personal to you and that's nice.

[DampAndRotten]

Ah.. Just found this..

www.springhole.net/writing/whatisamarysue.htm

[DampAndRotten]

Could someone please explain the "Mary Sue" thing? I saw the post above saying that she's a character representing the author, but why would she have to be perfect?

Both nice names though, fwiw.

[AuntieStella]

Here's a world of difference between having a (semi) private jokey reason for choosing what it, essentially, an 'ordinary' name.

And an obvious 'joke' name which the poor thing has to live with: like an entire football team, or a (cliched) pun.

(One of my DS was nearly a Morgan. Car, not pirate).

[TheseSoles]

Mary Sue is a name for a fictional character who is really a self insertion of the author.

There is a huge site of the same name with 87k followers on Facebook so very well known.

I don't think it's a nice reference either, it's origin is quite negative. Not cheeky pirate fun.

[EmpressOfJurisfiction]

Could you switch it round to Susannah Mary?

[TheCowThatLaughs]

I've never heard of Mary Sue. They sound like good names to me. It's not like you're going to call them Eileen and Ben with surname of Dover or anything!