In your opinion, can people with names like 'Posy', 'Kitty' or 'Dotty' be taken seriously?

[Stateofgrace]

...I happen to think so, but my family and a few friends disagree. Strongly.

Almost every name I have considered is of the 'cutesy' variety - as well as the above three, I also like Polly, Lola and Nelly. I seem to just like girly names. My mother is fond of telling me ''You are naming a person, not a baby'' as if I am not aware that baby will grow up.

I know that you shouldn't tell people the names before baby is born and present the name as a fait acompli, but I really don't want to pick a name which everyone else seems to hate...

Any thoughts / experiences on this? My mother this morning has just told me that ''she wouldn't trust a Doctor called something ridiculous like Posy'', which is actually one of my favourite names.

Any thoughts/experiences on this?

[Alisvolatpropiis]

I agree with your mother.

[curlew]

It's all about giving them choices. If Daisy's full name is Margaret, or Betsy's Elizabeth, they can choose rather than having cutesy imposed from birth.

[Polyethyl]

Your mother's right.
I know friends witb girly babyish names who have had to deal with assumptions about their intelligence and competence. Don't set your daughter up to be trivialised.

[squoosh]

OP just tell your mother to mind her own business, she had her baby naming opportunity when she gave birth to you.

Don't give her any more ammunition, announce the name when the child is born and don't entertain any debate.

[CheeseFondueRocks]

No, I wouldn't be able to take a woman with any of these names seriously. Maybe after a while of having got to know them. They're nicknames. I'd go for something like Katherine and then call her Kitty wile young. This gives her the chance to start using a more grown-up name later on if she so wishes.

[CheeseFondueRocks]

And yy to aspirations. That's so true. So many assumptions are being made about people due to their names.

[WetGrass]

English lacks the tu/vous linguistic construct (that most languages have) which distinguishes your close friends and family from the wider world.

A nickname is meant to perform the same function: dual identities for your soft, intimate self and your formal, serious self. I think it is a healthy separation of public and private: Matilda had a bad day in her stressfull job; Tilly comes home to a cuddle from her family.

It might be because I come from a culture where tu/vous is respected - but I get creeped out by the false intimacy of my GP saying " Look, Sammy, you've got haemorrhoids because you're overweight" or my bank manager saying "So, Suzie, have you thought how your family would manage if you died suddenly" (obv not my real names - but true scenarios).

[squoosh]

Oh WetGrass now I'm concerned for your bum and your bank balance.

[WetGrass]

The point was - I really hated that they'd obviously both been to the same school of communication - which taught them to drop the persons name into every sentence.

I would have felt more resilient dealing with tough talking as Miss Grass - or even Weterrika Ivanovna.

[LucyTheLittlestLioness]

I am with your mum.

I think a lot of people will, rightly or wrongly, make sweeping generalisations based upon names.

Although clearly there will be lots of adults with these cutesy names in the future, it does not necessarily mean they will be perceived in a positive way. Some of these cutesy names will be the equivalent of names like Tracey or Wayne in the future. So best to have a longer, more classic name as the name on the birth certificate and then at least they have another name to fall back on.

[Spero]

I agree with your mother. I hate cutesy fluffy names being imposed on babies when you have no idea who or what they will grow up to be.

A cute nickname for home use is one thing but having Milly Molly Fluffy Princess Whatever on birth certificate is another.

[scottishmummy]

Dotty,is too cutesy as a name.too twee.kitty I think here,here kitty cat
I'm no fan of cutesy diminutive names
I think pick name,tell no one til birth.that way he just got to suck it up

[rosyryan]

Sorry, I'm on Team Mum as well.

Great post WetGrass.

[Bowlersarm]

I don't get WetGrass post actually. WetGrass is it because you don't like the names Sammy and Suzie that you wouldn't want your GP and Bank Manager to use them, and it would be alright if the names were Helen and Sarah.?

Or do you just want them to call you Ms WetGrass and not use a first name at all?

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Bowlers

Wetgrass is explaining that in most countries people have a formal name and then family nicknames. The two do not mix.

Hence the whole Russian Natalya/Nataly/Nastasha thing (can't remember which is what, my sil is Russian with the above name).

[LynetteScavo]

Well, I think women with cutesy names can be jsut as successful as the Phillipas and Catherines, but I'm old fashioned and would go with teh long name on the birth certificate.

For some reason, I particularly dislike boys being called Bobby/Alfie as their actual name, although I have no idea why.

[Shrugged]

Your mother is being ridiculous. As others have said, these names are now so common that the next generation of politicians, judges, accountants, journalists will contain many women with those names. They will be common enough to appear on multiple CVs on every job search. It's nonsense to imagine a scattering of poor, passed over Lolas and Poppys and Daisys being spurned while the Margarets and Emmas get the jobs. Ellie and Rosie etc, like it or not, are just going to be what women are called.

[WetGrass]

Alis is spot on - it's a Russian thing. It's why people find it so hard to keep track of the characters in War and Peace.

So a bailiff would use "Madame Grass"
A colleague would use "Wetty'anna Ivanovna"
A friend would use "Wet"
My family would use a diminutive like "Wet-inka" or "Wet-asha"

So imagine if you made the news for something unpleasant - every headline shouting "Wet is a nasty scumbag. Lock up Wet and throw away the key" . You go home for your tea - someone says 'pass the salt Wet' - and everyone shudders (because Wet is a lowlife scumbag according to all reports). If you have a special name that friends use, then that is protective - and helps signal the boundaries of intimacy.

The example is Russian - but nicknames are a universal phenomenon, for precisely the reason of marking out privileged intimates. I think it's a bit mean to steal someone's chance to have a nice nickname, when there are no consequences to having a spare formal name on a birth certificate!

[Alisvolatpropiis]

Wet I'm glad I got the gist of it right, would be embarrassing given sil has explained it!

I can't for the life of me remember which way round her names go. I know the one I,dp and bil call her must be the family nickname. But after that I'm not so hot at keeping track.

[formicadinosaur]

Nell with nick name nelly is fab. And nell seems quite serious GP wise!!. Polly is quite a well to do name. Kitty is usually short fort Katherine or katie but is fine on its own. Posy is very sweet. Dotty could be a nick name for Lottie??

[squoosh]

Things were certainly serious for Little Nell.