Is Aoibhe a step too far in the UK?

[mika2]

I'm Irish, living in the UK and due DD1 in 4 mths. I really want to give the baby an irish name - DH has reluctantly agreed - and had come up with an extensive list of boys names i liked (and was convinced it was a boy!) but now i know it's a girl I'm still struggling. Not helped by the fact that a lot of them (Ciara, Tara, Niamh, Beibhinn, Saoirse, Siun) have already been taken by my very extended family. At the moment this is the best we can come up with;

Clodagh (klo-da) - but DH is insisting on nn chloe (which defeats the purpose of giving the baby an Irish name IMO)
Aoife (ee-fa) - pretty, but v v common in ireland and getting more so here?
Caoimhe (quee-va) - I love, but DH isn't so keen
Aoibhe (eva) - alternative to aoife, but a bit more "out there" than the others as even Irish ppl seem v confused on how to pronounce. And with such an obvious english alternative, can see DH/DD giving up and spelling it Eva eventually

Thoughts on the above for a baby growing up in the uk? And any other suggesions gratefully received!

[blueshoes]

English is the working language. Why saddle your dd with a name that is a potential liability in the workplace?

[DamsonJam]

I'd never heard the name Hermione before I read Harry Potter. When I read the books I pronounced it to myself as Herm - ee - own (sad I know!). I don't think its a bad thing that I have been educated on a new name and how to pronounce it.

But then I think (cultural) diversity is something to be embraced and celebrated (and the fact that the UK does this so well is something I love about this country).

[Phineyj]

Of the names you listed I think Clodagh is the one that people would get the hang of quickly as it doesn't have a scary looking combination of vowels/consonants (to an English eye). I met a Clodagh in London a while back and while I'd never heard the name before it was easy to remember how to say and write. Aoife and Caoimhe, not so much.

[MummyBurrows]

Oh yea,now I know how to say them its fine! I'm just saying when the OPs dd goes to school OP won't be there to tell teachers how to say the name,obviously dd will be but when a (clueless) teacher starts calling the register and gets to the name (which ever one it may be) they're going to be stumped and trying to say the name phonetically which will confuse all the kids too and perhaps cause dd some embarassment at realising its her name and having to correct the teacher...once corrected problem solved!...until the next one comes along and same problem all over again...

Fwiw I've got no idea how to pronounce Ptolemy either!! I thought it was an irish name because it confused me so much! I'd say Pah-toll-me?? God knows!! Lol!

[forgetmenots]

Applauding damsonjam again and biting my tongue now

I too had a Hermione problem. Until very recently.

[DamsonJam]

Fair enough MummyBurrows - but as forgetmenots said - once you had met the person and been told how to pronounce it, then surely you would remember (as actually meeting someone and hearing their name is quite different to reading a list of names that I can fully appreciate must read as gibberish to you). And then you would have learnt something new - which is surely a positive thing?

Blueshoes - I guess I'm biased as having lived with an unusual name I've never seen it as a liability but as an asset. I've never considered myself "saddled" with it.

[forgetmenots]

Haha no mummyburrows not Irish but I've no idea how the hell it's said and it's popular (on here, at least...)

I'd put up with that irritation tbh (but as I say, I'm someone who has a very dull name who always has to spell it out - doesn't bother me but at least it could have been unusual to make it worthwhile!)

[DisappointedHorse]

How about Mhairi (vari)? I love that.

[intheshed]

Surely variety is a good thing?! The school register would be very boring if it was full of Emilys and Sophies.

The school my DC go to is very multicultural so it is not unusual for children to have to spell out their names to new teachers etc, and the kids are used to a wide variety of names, so noone bats an eyelid. And then it's not unusual anymore.

I also think Irish names are becoming more popular in England- I know a Niamh, Siobhan and Caoimhe from toddler groups etc, none of the parents are first generation Irish (I have no idea if there is Irish heritage somewhere). So people will be more used to the spelling.

I used to work with a girl with a very Welsh name- she always had to pronounce and spell it several times to clients, got letters addressed to Mr X all the time as people assumed it was a male name. But as she worked in sales she always said it was a conversation starter and made her memorable, so she quite liked it!

[DamsonJam]

In answer to the question of what happens when the OPs DD goes to school - in the case of my DD1 (reception) and DD2 (pre-school, starting reception in September), both of whom have Irish names, when we met the teachers at the initial parent's evening, the teachers asked me and DH how to pronounce them and it has never been an issue (and I'm guessing they had to do this with a few other Asian/Eastern European children in the class).

Interestingly my DDs' peer groups don't have any issue with my DD's names as they're used to the diversity and don't seem to find it unusual to hear a new name (that includes new English names too - after all, there are a lot of English names that the average 4/5 year old won't have come across yet so they don't yet seem to have a concept of what constitutes an "unusual name").

[blueshoes]

Damson, I don't think people necessarily remember unless they come into contact with you a lot.

In my job and where I live (London), I met lots from all sorts of countries and different names. In my firm, people with unusually spelt/pronounced names tend to go by a more phonetically logical nickname. Nobody has the time or inclination to relish a tricky name. If you were the boss and had a number of subordinates to choose from, would you choose someone with the tricky name? Maybe in time but not at first.

[Theyoniwayisnorthwards]

Yes lots of people meet me, listen politely, ask me to repeat it and get it right from then on but plenty don't listen, can't remember or just can't get their heads around it.

Think about how often you use your name. It's not really school or work that is a problem, people you see regularly learn your name. Things like ringing the bank, booking a cab or a restaurant, introductions in loud bars (sorry WHAT was your name?!)..My name is constantly misspelled on tickets too.

Look it's not exactly a massive burden! It's just a little irritation I would happily have done without.

[Theyoniwayisnorthwards]

And I was adamant neither of my children have Irish names!

[DamsonJam]

Blueshoes - I guess either I move in different circles to you or am incredibly naive. I find it quite disheartening to think people would pass someone over like that in a work situation, where presumably you spend a lot of time with people (as opposed to a restaurant booking situation or similar where I wouldn't expect someone to remember the name - and actually in those sort of situations I admit I always use my surname (an Irish but "recognisable" name) to make things easier).

It is definitely NOT my experience (also work in London though SE based). As I said earlier, one of the things I love about the UK is how much it seems to embrace diversity (in my personal experience).

[deleted203]

Fucking hell blueshoes I'm glad I don't work for your firm. And if you live in London then that is just plain ignorant, sorry.

London is particularly multi-cultural - and how fucking arrogant for anyone to decide that they are too important/idle to learn how to pronounce your name and will call you something different.

Or for a boss to decide a subordinate with a 'tricky' name isn't good enough. I work with a colleague whose Christian name is 'Azubuike'. He is African. We don't fucking decide 'we'll call the black man 'Alan' shall we?'.

Jesus, wept. It's like a Victorian mistress deciding that the parlourmaid would be known as 'Jane' because it was more suitable than her actual name for her station in life.

[DamsonJam]

In fact I'm so depressed by Blueshoes' assertion that I think it's a good excuse to open a bottle of wine! :-)

[MummyBurrows]

It is a positive thing,and you would remember it,I just worry how dd would feel later in life at having to correct people trying to say the name from paper who,like myself,have/had no idea how to pronounce it and having to spell out their name to people later in life,over the phone,for example. Eva won't automatically make people say "is that Eva as in E-V-A or A-O-I-B-H-E? When they hear it iyswim? That's my only concern,seeing as dd will presumably be growing up and living in the UK where such irish names aren't common and not phonetically pronouncable in the english language. If op was in Ireland and bringing dd up there I wouldn't of even bothered commenting as the names make perfect sense over there and would cause little to no confusion but it could very easily be a different story here which I why I thought I should probably say how much they confused me,blueshoes probably said what she has for the same reason. The names just don't make sense here unless you've previously encountered them and that may well be a small minority of people so could cause a lot of,I don't know,hassle or embarrassment maybe,for dd later in life..

Don't get me wrong,its not my dd,and none of them are names I would pick myself (obviously!) So it doesn't bother me what name op decides on,I just thought she might like something to consider but seeing as her dh has reluctantly agreed to using an irish name I'm going to guess he was somewhat against it for the same kind of reasons that I've said,essentially to avoid any confusion or trouble with spelling/pronounciation? I assume his family are british so may struggle with spelling initially too but won't have any trouble with pronounciation as they will obviously hear the names before they read them! I'm just guessing here though!

[jellybeans]

I think it will be hard to be honest. How about Aisling or Aislynn (not sure how to spell but have heard it and thought was nice).

[blueshoes]

soworn, you are getting het up for nothing. People don't decide to nickname someone. Usually it is the person with the unusual name that gives themselves the nickname.

[ItsAllTLAsToMe]

Aoife is absolutely lovely - I'd seen it written down before, but wasn't sure how to say it (I suspected Weef ).

Given some of the other posts on this thread, I just wanted to say that I have a very Scottish name and live in England. If someone hears my name, they often can't spell it, if they read my name, they often can't say it . Nonetheless, I love my name (and often other people do too, even when they hadn't heard it before), and I like the fact that it's relatively uncommon.

[blueshoes]

Where I work it is very competitive and the rewards high. Every little edge counts. Not for everyone, then again, do you want to close off your dd's options? Not the end of the world, she might just give herself an easier nickname.

[forgetmenots]

If I wasn't heavily pregnant I'd be cracking open the wine right about now! Will make do with

[OrangeLily]

Love Clodagh!! I know a gorgeous little Clodagh too.

[MummyBurrows]

In blueshoes defence,I used to work with a guy called Jim...it wasn't his actual name,not even close,but he was African and nobody could say his real name properly so he decided to call himself Jim to make it easier for the people he works with :) if anyone at blueshoes workplace was deciding on names for people with foreign,pretty un-pronouncable names without the persons say-so then that's just plain racist,but I doubt that's the case,if someone knows their name is difficult they'd probably choosen an alternative themselves to make everyones like easier.

[forgetmenots]

Or, because they're used to having ignorant colleagues who won't make any attempt to pronounce their actual name...

I can't believe being one of twenty odd Sarahs or whatever is better in any competitive business than being the only one with a particular name, really can't - seems counter-intuitive to me (the boringly named woman) to want to blend in to get ahead. I'd never forget an Azubuike!