Would you let your husband name your firstborn son...

[MelinaM]

I have a major dilema, my husband wants to name our firstborn son after his best friend that sadly died a few years ago. I completely understand the wanting to honour a friend in that way but I absolutely hate the name with a passion! He will not compromise!!!
Has anyone else experience of this?

[squoosh]

What dickish behaviour!

Tell him he doesn't have the right to enforce a name you hate on your child. I would be livid at such antics.

[goldenlula]

No I wouldn't, all our names have been decided together. Dh tried the 'I choose the boys names, you choose the girls names' approach when I was pregnant with ds1, I said no way, we both decide on the names together. I had worked with a lady who had that approach and had 3 ds' so never got to choose a first name.
I can understand that your dh wants to use this name and the reasons behind, but I definitely think that the compromise of choosing a first name and using it as a middle name is the best idea.

[Loupee]

My DH chose my DS name, after giving birth I hated the names on our short list, DH chose a name we had previously ruled out and I went with it. I wouldn't say I love the name, but can't imagine him being called anything else.
But I know if I had rejected it, that would have been the end of it.
The name of your baby must be a name you both like.

[AThingInYourLife]

No way. He has no choice but to compromise.

Who the fuck does he think he is?

[coppertop]

If he's so keen to honour his friend's name then perhaps he should add it to his own name instead.

Is he by any chance the sort of person who will have to drop the reason for the name into every conversation in a "Woe is me. Look what a wonderful friend I am" way?

[Shr0edinger]

He has to compromise. he cant just railroad over you to honour some body else. i wouldnt even discuss it . say "it wont be that" and refuse to discuss. endless discussions only feed his beluef that he has the right to TALK u in to rolling.

[Shr0edinger]

The baby will have his sur name too i guess!!!!

[mathanxiety]

I agree, don't discuss. When it comes up tell him to talk to the hand cos the rest of you ain't listening. I also agree the dead friend's family might be a bit about this.

I agree with Coppertop he may be wallowing in grief or there may be some other element of losing this friend at play here. Maybe suggest he talk to someone professional about his loss if it is still affecting him at this point? It's a bit unhealthy to saddle the baby with the baggage associated with a loss like this.

[Sokmonsta]

I can understand the giving honour to his friend, especially if they were very close. But it is a reasonable compromise to ask that it's used as a second name and you choose a name together which you both like.

Dh was adamant he wanted a son with a specific name from his favourite book. I simply could not do that to a child. So ds1 has it as his middle name. Dh was happy. I was happy and ds1 won't have to constantly spell/explain his name to people.

Is there an alternative version of the same name which would be acceptable? You two would know the significance but others won't constantly be comparing.