People so rude when I use mobility aid...

[Baggingarea]

My MS has become worse and I'm using a cane every time I go out now.

I'm becoming scared to go outside as people are just so rude to me. As in aggressive. I used to wonder if it was in my head but it's definitely not. I mean it's just a piece of metal and suddenly my entire world shifts.

I just went to the shops and was reduced to tears by a shop assistant. Why are people like this.

I just wish I could go on walks without my stick. I would do anything.

Can anyone relate? I'm feeling so low.

[Sunshineanddaisies2021]

I am so sorry to hear this. You absolutely should be able to go out without having anyone comment on having a mobility aid let alone being awful to you. You shouldn't have to but could you come up with some retorts eg "You seem very preoccupied by my stick..it's rather strange. ? Sending solidarity!

[Baggingarea]

I appreciate your suggestion but the thing is it's all so insidious. I go out without a stick people are polite and friendly. I go out with a stick and all my interactions are cold, impatient and rude.

It's never about the stick - that would be easier to digest if someone shouted abuse like "you disabled prick!". But instead it's just this weird underlying unfriendliness.

[Baggingarea]

Just did a test where I put full make up on, nice clothes, nice jewellery and no stick and nipped to the shops in town to pick something up.

Alright it was painful and I walked a bit funny but the difference in attitude. People actually smiled at me!! Shop assistants asked if they could help. People moved out of my way without having to ask.

Kind of makes you hate people though. I'm screaming into the wind a bit here but had to share

[YourSpleenIsDamp]

Solidarity! I've had to start using a mobility scooter for anything more than a five minute walk - have psoriatic arthritis - and I've been shocked at how many people seem to think it's ok to stare :-( I guess it's unusual to see somebody in their forties using one - but that's no excuse. It's bloody rude, and makes me not want to go out. Even my kids have noticed - I might have to bribe them to say very loudly " mummy, why's that lady staring at you, doesn't she know it's rude to stare?" 🤣🤣

[WutheringBites]

I had to use a mobility scooter when I was pregnant (severe SPD) and it was endlessly depressing how people reacted. First they would talk to me as if my brain had atrophied; then they would make “interesting” comments about my weight - I’m not slim, but I was 8months pregnant, so was indeed carrying some extra weight - but what was gobsmacking was that complete strangers would stop and comment, not having twigged I was pregnant at all. Ableism at work.

[Baggingarea]

People are such dicks aren't they. Every time I go out there is some issue. I was in London this weekend and it was way less stressful. People just seem to get on with stuff there!

[mrsfeatherbottom]

I have been using a stick for a few years and I find that people are mostly very kind - holding doors open, letting me cross the road, offering to carry my coffee to my table etc.

I have used a mobility scooter a few times (for the zoo so way too much walking) and you do get stared at a lot. Perhaps it's an age thing as people associate them with older people.

Sorry you have been having negative interactions. Get yourself a really funky stick - it's a great conversation starter!

[Imissmoominmama]

Oh my gosh- DH and I were talking about this the other day!

I’ve just had an op and need crutches to walk at the moment. The first couple of times I went out, I was still tired and sore, so walked slowly, had no make up on- I was visibly struggling, and had to wear a backpack to carry my small amount of shopping. People actually tutted and sighed! Not one person in the supermarket offered any assistance. Both times, I came home and cried.

The next time I went out, I was feeling much better. I had a dress on and had done my hair and make up. I wasn’t obviously struggling, although I was still on crutches. People offered to help, smiled, were generally much nicer.

I told DH and he said that people were nicer because I looked prettier, and less ill.

It makes me so mad that people who are struggling are treated like a massive inconvenience 😡.

[Greydog]

My DH had to use crutches because of a knee injury - it was only for a couple of weeks, but he still needs a stick at the moment. He was astounded at the way people treated him. We stopped on the services on the M5, they were really busy, and people pushed in front of him, walked into him and pretended he wasn't there. They wouldn't have done that under "normal" circumstances - he's over 6foot, and looks like a bouncer. Oddly enough, we went shopping in M&S and people were so rude - but in Aldi they were all really nice. I can't understand why people are so dreadful, and I'm sorry you've been treated so badly.

[ThisisCollie2022]

I have MS and use a stick. Nobody has ever been horrible to me. I'm quite shocked and appalled!

I'm so sorry you've had to endure assholes OP! X

[Carlycat]

I'm a carer for my mum who's disabled. She's ranged from a wheelchair to a stick for mobility. I can't say we've had any negative attention apart from in a wheelchair at the airport where people are generally harassed and oblivious and block her way. Sending hugs

[Baggingarea]

Thanks everyone. I do get looked up and down where I live. I counted it give times while waiting for train yesterday. I find people in big cities much more open minded and welcoming!

[gogohmm]

I'm out with someone with a stick regularly and never notice negativity but she's older, over 60. Another friend uses a mobility scooter, people are curious but otherwise helpful

[Baggingarea]

OP I 100% understand what you experience and it's defos not in your head. People are weird. It really gets me down but you can't change other people sadly.

[Baggingarea]

Oh lol replying to my own thread!! Thought I'd finally found someone who gets it... Duh

[Crikeyalmighty]

@Baggingarea - ha, ha- I once did that too!! I feel for you, I've had long covid and it's given me nerve stuff and occasional vertigo and it's made me very aware of varying disabilities in ways I think I was guilty of being oblivious of before . Some People can be such arses

[Baggingarea]

😂

[Cornwallintherain]

Oh OP this made me laugh 🤣 (replying to your own thread!)

I have MS too. I sometimes use a cane. But nobody has ever mentioned it!! I have bloody good hearing so I'd hear it. Grrr

I can barely see today so no doubt ill wake up tomorrow needing a cane to find my way around. MS takes the piss sometimes x

[EmmaEmerald]

I'm so sorry OP
Can you face complaining about the shop assistant?

Sorry to say, I definitely find this a thing. When I was on crutches people would push past furiously. A friend uses a stick for EDS and she's been shouted at, as in "oy, why are you using a stick". She actually tried to engage with these people but they just laughed.

I have vertigo and had to pause once before stepping on an escalator. The problem wasn't apparent yet so I didn't know it would happen. It was a real brief pause. After I got off with no problem, I was tapped on the shoulder by a very angry woman who asked why I did it. I said "sorry, I just felt dizzy suddenly" and she went on and on. I eventually shouted "do you want an apology, cos you're not fucking getting one".

At this point a member of staff came over...she then said "oh so you feel well enough to swear at me" and I said "yes..it was just a second my eyes went funny". The station guy then told her to lay off as many people need time to get on the escalator.

This was a few years ago, there are now signs to be considerate of people who have issues with them. I haven't had any trouble since her though.

[Antisocialfluffmonster]

I’ve been on crutches for 10 years. People are d!ckheads. That or people constantly guffawing and saying “what have you done to yourself hahaha” or lamenting that when they twisted their ankle they weren’t given fancy crutches like mine (I use smart crutches)

normally puts a nose out of joint when I say, I’m disabled, I use them all the time and I had to pay £200 and have these custom made for me.

I probably do need a wheelchair but I would need one with power assisted wheels and people get even funnier about ambulatory wheelchair users than they do with crutches. Especially if like me you’re overweight.