I constantly feel alone

[ImNotARegularMumImACoolMum]

I had my first DS in June this year and I just feel so alone.

I’ve been struggling with perinatal depression and anxiety during my pregnancy and post partum and feel like I have no support.

None of my friends have children and before having DS I thought they were all great friends but since having DS, I’ve stopped being invited to certain things and the effort they put in is minimal.

I don’t have many friends but the few friends I do have I’ve always considered to be very good friends, but recently it’s just like they don’t want to know. They all know I’m struggling with things and yet not one of them has checked on me, I was speaking to one of them about how much I’m struggling and she just started ghosting me for a week, as well as other friends saying they would message me when they’re in the local area (they recently moved away) and then I find out they’ve been local and then gone home without so much as a message.

Maybe I’m being unreasonable but I would have thought at least one person would have reached out to check I’m okay???

[NewYearNewYu]

That sounds tough. I was the first of my friends to have a baby and I think my friends just didn’t know what to say. I guess they know you can’t go out drinking or make plans at the drop of a hat. It’s a shame they aren’t checking in on you though.
The way I got through it was to make mum friends. I went to every baby group going. So swimming, toddlers (there were lots local to me), baby yoga, baby sensory etc etc. Eventually I knew enough local mums that when I went to the park I would always bump into someone I knew enough to exchange ‘war stories’. Then once my dc was at school local people knew me so were comfortable arranging play dates with my dc.
I know it’s hard when you feel vulnerable but it is worth putting yourself out there.
When your baby is older you will be able to join in with single friends again. They may also have children by then and you can be the friend you wished you had. In time everything will feel easier.

[ImNotARegularMumImACoolMum]

@NewYearNewYu thank you for your kind words. It’s frustrating as our plans were never around drinking, we frequently went for dinner and if any of my friends asked me for dinner I would ask my partner to watch my little one, and it seems whenever I ask them they’re always busy 😔

DS is still not in nursery and because I struggle with anxiety I find it hard to go to play groups so maybe it’ll get easier once he starts attending nursery

[NewYearNewYu]

Try a church toddler group, there are normally older ladies there serving tea and coffee who make sure no one is left out iyswim. It would be really good for your child if you could give it a go.