I'm a year on from "recovering" from PND & ocd and am now having what I suspect to be another bout of the ocd due to low mood.
i had been doing very well and still taking my medication but no longer under the perinatal team. We've had almost a month of broken sleep, illness (both mt baby and me), teething and it now seems another sleep regression. Up until today I'd say I'd been coping. But today I have been overwhelmed with anxiety, feeling disassociated and then I was hit with barrage of unwanted thoughts. First that I wasn't needed, I don't need to be here, then that the lack of sleep is going to make me lose control and cause harm to my baby. I am not an angry or aggressive person at all, I have never lost my temper with my baby, shouted, even raised my voice. But the thought came that I might hurt her and since then a load of other thoughts have come flooding in and I just can't stop them. I feel scared, uneasy, on edge. Like I am going to become really ill again. Rationally I know I am run down and just exhausted and hormonal but I forgot just how terrifying these thoughts are and what the meaning is behind them. I wish I could switch off from them but this is how I spiralled last time. I kept feeding the thoughts. Surely the lack of sleep can't take this much of an affect on my mental health. I have been in such a good place but I feel so deflated that this is happening again.
any tips on how to cope would be appreciated. I know I am seeking reassurance, I know that isn't the best thing to do but honestly I just feel like I need someone to say that it's gonna be ok because not being able to quiet my brain when it's like this terrifies me
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Antenatal/postnatal depression
intrusive thoughts
4 replies
beenherebefore9 · 17/11/2023 20:48
OP posts:
JustDoItNowForChristSake ·
18/11/2023 08:02
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