Can't cope / PND

[Helpineedsomebody23]

Hi

FTM after 2 miscarriages last year. Horribly anxious throughout pregnancy and chose to stay off medication. Longstanding history of anxiety and depression. Went on Sertraline in last week of pregnancy and had ELCS on advice of mental health team. Sertraline increased to 100mg 2 weeks ago.

I am not coping AT ALL with my newborn. He is now almost 5 weeks old and I haven't enjoyed one minute of it. My husband has had to take longer off work to support me. We've come back to parents for more support too. I can't sleep when the baby sleeps because he's so noisy (he has laringomalacia). I haven't been able to breastfeed so feel hideously guilty about that. I can't cope when he cries. He's been crying on and off this evening and we don't know why (not hungry, not wet etc). I had a panic attack because I just couldn't bear the noise anymore. My husband sent me to bed early. He's back to work tomorrow so I'll be up from 1am with the baby. I'm absolutely dreading it. I wish this wasn't my life. I feel like we've made the biggest mistake and I'm scared I'll never feel better and will forever hate this.

NHS waitlist for psychology talking therapies is 6-8 weeks.

Please tell me it gets better. I don't know what else to do :(

I hear you. My baby is 10 months and I felt somewhat similar to you at the stage you are at. I couldn't breastfeed either and felt guilty for a long time and now accept that it isn't my fault. Breastfeeding is impossible! At least that was my experience and a lot of my friends experiences.

I found that my baby didn't sleep for the first 3 months but it is now easier.

I struggle with my baby crying too although it has become a little easier over time to get used to. Another mum said she struggles with her baby crying too, so it helps to know I am not alone.

I can't promise that it will get easier but I found that reaching out for help and support from professionals and family helped loads in the long run.

Well done for reaching out. Thank you for your post, it helps me to feel less alone. Xx

So sorry that you are struggling @Helpineedsomebody23. How are you now?

It gets better.

I was diagnosed with treatment resistant severe depression at 10months with the depression starting at 3 weeks. I felt like my life would never be the same and that I would never be able to look after my daughter. I was in hospital and too ill to work.
Within a few months I was backa t work 4 days a week and enjoying my daughter so much.

I had listening appointments with my HV where they came to talk to me about how I was doing and not my daughter. She also put me in contact with a peer support group.

See if you qualify for a perinatal MH referral

We moved in with my in laws for 2 weeks when really desperate. They were a 4+h drive away so could help us out.

It will get better I have a 3 yo and am now reducing all of my medication I needed to treat my depression.